I have a ridiculous headache right now; it feels like someone drove a needle right between my eyes...
A couple of weeks ago my brother found a little puppy on the side of the road. She's adorable (half yellow lab and half german shepard; 4 months old) but she really annoys me. The last week or so I have been woken up every day by her or Porter barking or Daniel yelling at one of them. It makes me really mad. Plus she jumps up on you whenever you enter a room, bites you, chews on your shoes and pees all over the carpet. I keep waiting for her old owners to come and claim her, but I don't think it's going to happen and Daniel is pretty much set on keeping her. We have a full house as is and two dogs is just too much for me. (She just woke me up from my nap so I'm a little grumpy.)
Also, today was my first day at my new store and it went well. I was pretty nervous because I had never met any of the employees there before (not even the manager) and I had an opening shift so I felt pretty clueless. The store is much newer than Bethany Village and has all kinds of equipment I had never even seen before, so I felt like an idiot asking questions all morning long. The whole atmosphere could seriously not be more different than the last store. It was super slow all morning and I was just standing around... weird. But cool. I have a feeling I'm really going to like it there. Everybody told me when I first come to be very humble and not try and act like I know everything. I really don't feel like that is going to be a problem since, like I said, everything is totally different and I have new equipment and people and routines to learn.
In other news, there are two games coming up that I want to play very badly, Grand Theft Auto IV and Gran Turismo 5. I have spent countless hours of my life playing GT3 and GTA3 so I'm excited for the sequels. In fact today I came home from work craving some GT3 action. I hardly ever have time for video games anymore (when I was in school I used to play them for hours and hours on the weekends), so I'm hoping after the wedding I have some time to play them with Matt. Although the inconvenient thing for us is that we both like single player RPGs so it's not very often that we play games together... although GT5 is multiplayer and I hear GTA4 has a good multiplayer function.
So anyway, other news. I have just finished the book Tweak, by Nic Sheff (see previous posts about Nic Sheff/David Sheff/beautiful boy). It's weird because I met him about a month ago, heard him speak and talked to him for a bit. But that was before I really heard his side of the story and I feel like I had no idea at the time what he had been through and how much of a miracle his sobriety was (or the fact that he was alive in general). I suppose this is true with all recovering addicts. But I feel sincerely happy for him, almost like he is a friend of mine somehow. I suppose this is just because of how honest and open his book is. It seems like you know everything there is to know about him. There are secrets in that book that, if they were mine, I would keep them to my grave. And he just kind of puts it all out there. Which makes me really, genuinely glad for him and his family.
Anyway, I guess that is all I have to say for now. I should really be doing something else instead of wasting my time blogging, but I haven't blogged in a long time and I had lots to say...

You know what I find interesting?
I think people who are married or in a serious relationship can attest to this... how much more protective you are of your partner than of yourself.
Some days, after a particularly frustrating day at work, I will complain extensively about the things that bother me. Almost 100% of the time I have no intention of making any changes at my job but I'm merely blowing off steam. But Matt's response is almost always "you should quit" or "that job is beneath you". I'm sure he sincerely believes all that although the prospect of quitting my job is unrealistic, I'm making okay money and I (usually) enjoy what I do. Obviously there will be changes in the future, but for now it is okay.
Still, I find myself feeling the same way whenever someone is treating Matt unfairly, taking advantage of his skills or his willingness to help. I helped out with Quake for a long time before Matt and I started dating, and it was always an unrealistic work load. Still, I was so much more upset (once we started dating) by what he was asked to do than I had been by what I had done. That's just an example to prove my point...
Anyway, my dad says he has seen it a lot as a manager. He said some of his most heated arguments have occurred when a husband goes home and his wife tells him that his boss is treating him unfairly, underpaying him, etc. They sometimes come back and demand a raise or a promotion or they quit.
I just think it is funny. I suppose it is tied in with seeing and valuing your partners skills so much more clearly than they can themselves. I know that Matt seems to paint a much rosier picture of my education, abilities and work experience than I do.
This week for counseling one of our assignments was to list our dreams for ourselves and our spouse. I didn't have very many for myself (which, I guess, is probably because I feel my education is incomplete and therefore I am unprepared to hold the kind of job I really want). But I do have a lot of dreams for Matt, because I see all of his skills and believe he can make something out of every one. I wrote that I would like to support him going to seminary, and maybe we could serve in ministry together the way my parents have. Or some day he could be an elder, because he has a lot of maturity and wisdom to offer, and he is very concerned with the biblical accuracy of his decisions. Or he could be a musician... or start his own web design company... or stay at his job and climb the ladder. There are so many possibilities.
Anyway, it is just interesting to me. I feel so much more upset when Matt is wronged than when I am wronged. I guess that is just part of getting/being married but I think it's neat.

I've spent all day working on our wedding invitations (which I am designing all by myself, and assembling with a little help)... and I am bored...

Anyway, I'm off to draw a map of my grandma's house...

beautiful boy + tweak

So last night my family (everyone except Becca) drove out to clackamas to meet David and Nic Sheff. David Sheff is the author of the book I just finished reading (beautiful boy), which is about his son's addiction to crystal meth. And Nic just finished his own book (tweak), which is the same story but from a different point of view. He's 2 years sober right now.
David Sheff actually turned out to be sick, so I didn't get to hear him speak or talk to him, but his son shared his own story and it was pretty cool. The coolest thing was that my brother came with us and sat through the whole thing.
It's weird, you read a story about someone else's life and when it draws so many parallels to your own you feel connected to that person... but you realize that you still don't really know them. And it was really moving to hear the way people communicated at the book signing, because a lot of people shared their own struggles and were open and honest and you just don't get that very often in life.
Anyway, it was a cool experience.

Also, my mom and I have been doing weight watchers and I am not ashamed to admit it because it is awesome. I have felt much better since I've been eating healthier, exercising more, and getting more sleep. As of today I am down over 7 pounds from when I first signed up 4 weeks ago. So that is really cool. I'm wearing some old jeans today which is always a good feeling. And it makes my wedding-day goal seem more realistic to have successfully lost so much weight already. I can't wait to get my dress and have them tailor it down for me (it was a little on the small side when I ordered it, and I have lost 1 pants size already).
Yay for me!