Les Resolutions!

I know a lot of people think resolutions are lame, but I love them, and I write them every year. Sometimes they are too ambitious for me to complete, and this year I am having a hard time thinking forward an entire year. What will life be like next January? I will have a 17-month-old. I don't know much about 17-month-olds, but I'm guessing they are a lot more work than 5-month-olds. So this year will probably be another year consumed with all things baby. And this time I think I am okay with that.

I have one goal for Kisa over the next few months, and that is to stop sleeping with mommy and daddy. We have been (at least partially) co-sleeping with her since she was a few days old. It started out being something that was genuinely enjoyable for all of us, but as she has gotten bigger (and louder... and more wiggly) it has become less so. I think at this point we are all ready for her to "move out", and I am excited about putting her in her own room, even though I know it will be a tough transition.

My personal goal is to be more open and honest, and it has been inspired by Facebook. Let me explain: over the past few months or so I have been pondering the benefits of social networking tools like Facebook and blogs. They allow me to communicate with all kinds of people: old high school friends, family members around the globe, coworkers, fellow Ethnosians, etc. What I post on my FB page goes out to ALL these people. As such, it eliminates my ability to be different around each group. This, I think, has been a bit of a wake-up call for me, because the truth is that I sometimes am different with different people. Do I want my conservative aunt to see what I would say to my friends (with whom I am often less conservative than I would like)? Would I want my friends to see the things I post about what I believe, or am I too afraid of offending them?

As a result, I have started to really think intentionally about the way that I present myself and whether or not it is an accurate representation of me. Sometimes that means choosing not to say the things I know I really shoudln't be saying, and sometimes that means saying what I want to say, even though I know some people will be offended by it. I want to be someone who is real and honest with people. Even if the majority of people turn out not to like the person that I am-- I at least want them to know who I am. I'm sure I've said things that offend my conservative family members from time to time (and I know for a fact I have shocked my liberal friends). But it has been because I am communicating who I am and what I believe.

So this resolution is partly about becoming a person who is marked by openness and honesty (even with the ugly things) and partly about becoming a person who genuinely feels like they have nothing to hide. If that makes sense.

Finally, I have a resolution for my marriage and spiritual growth. Matt is going to read through the Bible again this year, and I am going to join him on the same reading schedule. Hopefully this will be a good encouragement for both of us. He is generally quite a bit more disciplined than I am, so I hope it will be a help for me having him checking up with me and discuss things with. I love learning and talking about the things I learn, so I really can't think of anything more fun than reading through the Bible with my husband. He is so full of insights.

Anyway, I have to stop writing now because I have to check my blog stats. Matt is claiming he has written more blogs in a four-year-period than I have. I do not think this is the case... but I have to check.

Merry Christmas, Kisa!

When we were over at the Hartzells' on Friday they dug Matt and Ashley's old toy box out of the garage and gave it to us. We gratefully accepted (because when don't we accept free things?) but decided we'd like to make some changes so it would fit better with her decor. So here are the "before" photos:



Step one was to disassemble the whole thing and paint it white and green to match the other furniture in her room.


I found some awesome green and white polka dot fur at the fabric store, and I lined the inside of the toy box with the fabric so her toys won't break when she chucks 'em in there.



I liked the checkerboard from the original design, so I lined the top of the box with felt and painted a new checkerboard on the inside with some green fabric paint:



I also painted over the old patterns on the top and side with my own murals to match her room. One side already had a green chalkboard, which I left because it's cool (and it already matches). Soooooo here's he finished product (after 12 or so hours of work):






We are spending this week remodeling and redecorating Kisa's room (Matt is remodeling and I am redecorating) in preparation for the Big Move (aka when she starts sleeping in a crib and not in our room/bed). Today I did this and Matt hung custom shelving in her closet, replaced her old light fixture with a new ceiling fan, and shampooed the carpet. Tomorrow we are buying a crib and installing blinds. I've got a few other projects I'd like to tackle, but we are well on our way to our first completely remodeled room in this condo!

Thanks Russ and Vicki for the toy box! Kisa will now have furniture in her room from my childhood as well as Matt's, which I think is pretty cool.

I don't really remember last Christmas that well (what with the morning sickness and general exhaustion/terror) but this one was both enjoyable and memorable. Our first Christmas as a family unit. And I will say this: having a baby around certainly makes the holiday a little more exciting. I know she's not old enough to open gifts or enjoy traditions, but this year we thought a little more intentionally about the things we'd like to do as a family in the coming years.

We started a few new traditions that I'm excited about. We baked cookies together, and we set up a Christmas tree and decorated our house as a family. In the future, we'd like to cut down our own tree, and next year we'll probably drive around and see some Christmas lights.

Christmas eve was spent with my family, and they started some new traditions of their own. We set a $10 gift limit, which was pretty fun. It's amazing the stuff you can get for $10. Or make for $10 worth of materials. We traded in our traditional Christmas eve dinner for a pasta dish that we cooked together as a family- right down to the pasta noodles! And all of us, as a family, donated some gifts through the World Vision catalog. I'm looking forward to seeing how that last tradition grows. I think when Kisa gets a bit older I'm going to have her save money for it all throughout the year, and then she will probably have tons of fun picking out the gifts to send (they are things like goats and sheep).

Matt and I started our own tradition on Christmas Eve, too: new pajamas for everyone right before bedtime, and then we all cuddled up on the couch and watched Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer.

Christmas day was the usual stockings and presents, and then we went to visit the Hartzells. Lots of fun and presents for everyone- especially Kisa! I'm excited for the baby toys we got. It's so fun to see her growing and beginning to really play for the first time.... she is going to be a little explorer. Once she can get over how awesome her toes are, I'm sure she will really love all the new toys! ;)

I could probably write more but, to be honest, I was writing this to kill time while I waited for my new video game to install on my computer. And it's done. So time for some gaming.

Merry Christmas!

My favorite Christmas song

I’m here with the others
Who saw the heavens testify
Now I hang back in the shadows
I want to come close
I want to know
She sees me shivering here
She smiles and with a nod
I walk through the mud and straw
To the newborn Son of God

Come, let us adore Him
He has come down to this barren land
Where we live
And all I have to give Him
Is adoration

He raises a wrinkled hand
Through the dust and the flies
Wrapped in rags like we are
And with barely open eyes
He takes my finger
And He won’t let go
And He won’t let go
It’s nothing like I knew before
And it’s all I need to know

Come, let us adore Him
He has come down to the world we live in
And all I have to give Him
Is adoration

God is with us here
Our Immanuel
God is with us here
Our Immanuel

O come let us adore Him
O come let us adore Him
Jesus, our Immanuel
Is with us here and He won’t let go

I am continually humbled by the picture of our Savior as an infant... maybe even more so since this year I have experienced motherhood. This song is about a baby, but it is also about our powerful Redeemer... and I think it does a really good job of capturing both. The second verse brings tears to my eyes every time I hear it, or even think about it... what a great God we have!

Regarding Marriage

I am of the opinion that if you solve the problems in the marriages in your church and create really great successful marriages you will not be able to build a church big enough to hold all the people that want to come and have their marriages healed.

Matt and I subscribe to the daily generous wife and husband blogs. It's a great resource for other married couples out there. Or at least I think it is. Basically they email you a tip every day about how to be a better husband or wife. Even if the tips aren't always relevant to you personally, I like the reminder every morning to be thinking about Matt and how I can bless him that day.

Anyway, I also usually read the husbands' blog too, because I find it to be an interesting window into how men view marriage and their wives, and it also reiterates to me how different we (men and women) are from each other. For example, I'd bet most, if not all, of the wives read the husband blog just like I do. I wonder how many husbands read the wife blog? My guess is not too many. :)

I digress. Today I was reading a conversation on this blog about how one man felt the church had failed him, and his marriage, by failing to teach about Godly marriage and sex. I think this is probably a pretty common experience- that the church might see, but will perhaps not address, marital issues. After all, who has the right to "butt in" to someones marriage and offer advice or instruction?

Personally I think that our marriages, like every other piece of our lives, should be open to instruction and guidance. Matt and I set out to be open and honest about our relationship with others. So far that has been easy, because the vast majority of the past year and a half has been amazing. I hope we can continue to be open when things are harder for us.

I love my husband. He is a great man, one whom I deeply respect, and I want the best things for him. I also love marriage, and not only because I love Matt. It is really a phenomenal gift we have been given, to create the picture of God's love for us on earth. We live in a culture where marriage is seriously devalued, and I never want my own relationship to exemplify that, but rather to be a picture of what God intended it to be. When Matt and I fall short of that mark, I would hope that our brothers and sisters in Christ would guide and exhort us.

I liked the quote at the top of this page because I think I agree with this man. I don't know what it is like to be unhappily married but I DO know what it's like to be happily married, and it is something worth cherishing and protecting.

Anyway... kind of a rambly post but I've got relationships on the brain today. :)

My new baby is coming home today

You know you're a grown-up when the most exciting part of your day (well, maybe your week) is getting a refrigerator delivered to your house. And you catch yourself daydreaming about it's shiny exterior, well-organized (and lit) interior, and the fact that it doesn't secretly leak water into your floorboards. Or freeze everything on the top shelf and thaw everything on the bottom shelf.

I am seriously so excited about this fridge.

Of all the wonderful things man has created for our enjoyment and consumption, does anything really compare to a fresh pear and a hard-boiled egg? I would submit to you that it does not.

I do enjoy the occasional (okay, daily) tablespoon of nutella, but still... God's simplest gifts are often the best.

I like the way I feel when I know I am eating well. I feel proud, healthy, energetic, and confident.

I have decided that the pleasure I get from tasting most of the junk foods that I like does not, generally speaking, outweigh the pleasure I get from being in control of my cravings, eating healthy foods and feeling good about the way my body looks. When I was previously overweight I was somewhat insecure about my figure, and just generally less comfortable-- clothes did not fit or feel that great, plus there are all kinds of medical things that spring up with even just ten extra pounds on your body.

Since I am again in the position of needing to lose some weight (thanks to baby Kisa and my crazy freaking thyroid... and, yes, my poor diet/exercise choices) I am reminded of how good it feels to be a healthy weight and composition.

This is all in response to my renewed diet plan, which I started up again today. I slipped off track for a while there, but I'm gonna do this, because I forgot HOW important it is for me to be feeling good about myself.

Matt is also partially joining me in this, against his will, since I am the primary cook in our house and therefore he eats what I cook him. :)

Here is my personal goal: that someday, when I pass off this job as Ethnos administrator, the person who comes after me will never have to say that the person who worked the job before them didn't quite know exactly what they were doing.

They will have an easily maintained organizational system, they will know precisely what the job entails, and they will be trained. And they will have a manual to refer to in the event that they have a question.

I say none of this to "rip on" anyone who has worked this job before me, because I think it is a difficult job if you only do it for a few months (which is what most of them did) or if you are not trained properly (which none of us were). But I think we can do better.

oh, memories

This date last year was the day we found out we were pregnant (and about 4 weeks in).

I came home from work (I had to work the closing shift, so it was about 11) pregnancy test in hand. I had already told Matt about my suspicions earlier that day so he was waiting for me. When we saw those two little strips we (or maybe just me... I don't remember) dropped about a million F-bombs and I cried inconsolably for at least a half an hour, maybe longer.

Haha. I am counting on sleeping better tonight than I did this night last year! :)

I'm praying for a smooth and relaxing day today.

Last night Kisa had a pretty intense bout of crying right before bedtime. I have had a cold since Saturday night that started with a really raw sore throat, so I sent Matt to the store at 10 pm to buy baby tylenol (in case she had caught my germs). Turns out that wasn't it, but I am glad I have it on hand anyway because I think we're getting pretty close to teething time.

She was an absolute angel the rest of the day, though, and I didn't really get a chance to enjoy it because I was working so hard. So I'm hoping she is happy again today and that I will have less to do so I can have a chance to hang out with her and recover. Pretty much my ideal day today would consist of cuddling with her and watching america's next top model reruns. And eating oatmeal.