Tuesday, February 26, 2008

I had a crappy day

I've decided to blog every night before I go to sleep because I think it helps me unwind.

Anyway, today was not the greatest day. We had in-store training (I'm sure you read about it on the front page of the Oregonian. Or heard about it in the news. Or saw it on yahoo). It broke up my work day so that I left work and pretty much had to come right back a couple hours later. I didn't get out of work until 9:20ish tonight and I was in a bad mood during the training because of the day I had leading up to it. The training is a good thing but I was not in the mood for it tonight.
Part of the reason I was in a bad mood today was that I had a bit of a scare with one of my friends... there were some concerns about their health so I was waiting all day to hear if they were going to be ok or not. It turns out they are but the wait was pretty horrible.

...On a totally different note... Sometimes I think I would prefer to have a desk job so I can focus on one task at a time and not be worried about hurting anyone's feelings or stepping on peoples' toes. I work very hard and take pride in my work. Especially considering what I get paid (little) and how much authority I am given (very little). I know people (/Starbucks reps) would say that I get paid more than most people doing the type of work that I do, but I feel like Starbucks as a corporation demands a lot from its low-level employees. They expect us to care about quality and business even though it has a minimal impact on the average barista. I'm sure plenty of people could give me reasons why everyone should think it's important but the fact is, they expect a lot of buy-in from people who are probably just working there for a part-time thing.
I actually do work very hard and pay attention to things like the average ticket, transactions per half hour, labor, sales, quality, speed of service, furthering my knowledge, etc, etc. Yesterday I spent three hours in voluntary training to learn even more about coffee so I can help my store to be passionate about whole bean and brewed coffee as a quality product.
And some days I wonder why I even work so hard when all that stuff seems to kind of get lost. I mean I seriously work my ass off going above and beyond what some of my peers do. Unfortunately this really just seems to bite me on the ass. And maybe there is no point in doing that. I suppose I would make the same paycheck whether I go the extra mile or not. And if I'm not going to get another promotion (which it doesn't feel like I will) then it's not even like I'm investing in my own future.

Anyway, today just pissed me off. Some days I feel that I work hard for absolutely no reason, and today was one of those days. I think working has to do much more with the principle than with the paycheck. Because if I couldn't take pride in/feel good about my work, I would quit my job even if it meant giving up a steady paycheck.

Tomorrow is a day off, which is good, because I am burnt out and I need clean laundry really badly...

3 comments:

Unknown said...

I think you're up against a wall. You are brilliant and talented, and Starbucks is not a place that is going to challenge you and use your gifts and abilities. In my experience, retail-type businesses are not nearly as professional as they'd like you to believe they are, so you're most likely not going to be surrounded by employees who have a similar desire to work hard and accomplish much.

I really think it's time to find a job that is worthy of your time and effort.

K said...

Ciara,
I am so excited for you and Matt. I know how hard it is to plan a wedding, work, and deal with all the other things going on in ones life. I'm sure all the people who have been offering you help know the same thing, which is why they are trying to be there for you. I realize it's hard to delegate tasks - it takes someone you trust in order for you to be willing to relinquish some of your responsibility to them. But you have to realize that you really can't do it on your own! I don't want to see you burn out before the wedding even happens, and one of the best ways to prevent that is to ask people for help in whatever ways you can.
With that said... I love you and I know you are a wonderful and dedicated employee, but like Matt said, you have amazing skills and passions that are not being used at Starbucks. It's easy to stay at a comfortable job, but perhaps after the wedding it will be time to start looking for something else that is more up your alley.

Love you!

Jenn Sanders said...

I'm sorry that there is so much going on for you right now. I'm sure that work doesn't help.

I hope you take this the right way, but your comment "Sometimes I think I would prefer to have a desk job so I can focus on one task at a time and not be worried about hurting anyone's feelings or stepping on peoples' toes." I don't know about all desk jobs, but I know that I have to do several things at one time and I always have to worry about the people around me and the people on the phone and the other side of the email. Sorry!!! I hope you find the job that best suits you and your desires.