Ministry goals

Hopefully, it comes as no surprise to you (whoever you are) that Matt and I are currently in the midst of a church transition. Ethnos, the church where we have spent the last 5-6 years of our lives and ministry, is drawing to a close, which leaves us "homeless" for the time being. Over the past couple of months we have had the opportunity of visiting a number of churches in the Beaverton and Portland area, and have narrowed down our search considerably. I feel like we are far from making a decision about where we would like to attend, but the process has been an interesting one for our family.

Recently, Matt has had opportunities to help lead worship at 3 different churches in the greater Portland/Vancouver area, and from my estimation, it has been an incredible time of growth for him as a musician and worship leader. The combination of playing with many different musicians, the encouragement of being sought after as a worship leader, and the opportunity to see how other believers worship has been great for all of us, but especially for Matt. It has been fun for me to watch him fully use his gifts and rise to the many opportunities he has been presented with.

However, I would be lying if I said it isn't also a little bit intimidating. As we've traveled around to these new churches, I feel a tiny bit like I am being ripped out of my element. I am going to places where no one knows me beyond what little they may know of Matt. Almost every week I field the same comments from strangers: 1) Your husband is a very good drummer, and 2) Your daughter is cute/adorable/beautiful/precious. I have sunk to a position of total anonymity, and after several years of being known-- WELL-- by my community, it is weird.

Rather than be disheartened by this, I have been encouraged to take a good look at my own heart and where I see myself serving in whatever place we end up. You see, as a young mom it is really, REALLY easy to get caught up in motherhood. As firmly as I believe that God designed me for the purpose of being Matt's wife and Kisa's mother, I also believe that he means me for much, MUCH more than that. Simply put, my family is not my whole life... they are just a piece of it. One of the deepest desires of my heart is to encourage each of them to pursue their own goals and passions, and one of the ways I see myself doing this (especially in my daughter's case) is to lead by example.

Recently I have become a bit restless, and am aching for the chance to employ my gifts and to do ministry in a way that is transformational for myself and those around me. It is something I have thought of quite often lately, and a vision is taking shape for the future. It is something I am excited about (although still working through), and thus something I want to share.

(Maybe now would be a good point to add in a disclaimer. Although I have spent a good deal of time studying the topic I am about to write about, I am by no means a theologian and I have not had the benefit of seminary training. So although what I am about to say is the result of years of study, mentoring, prayer, and seeking God's direction in my life, I am not trying to present my views as infallible or completely formed. I do believe them to be Biblical, but as I know what I say may be a little unorthodox I leave it to you to decide and to challenge.)

I believe that I have the spiritual gift of craftsmanship. Depending on where you go to church or what spiritual gifts inventory you've taken, you may or may not have heard of this gift, or even believe that it is a spiritual gift. You may define it anywhere on the broad spectrum of skills relating to either the creative arts or to architecture/construction. So let me give a somewhat brief/casual explanation of what I believe this gift encompasses, and why.

Though seldom mentioned in the New Testament, there are a few instances in the Old Testament where the Holy Spirit blesses an individual with the gift of "craftsmanship" (this is the term I will use for the purpose of the blog, though the actual word varies according to the text you are reading). These situations occur when God commands the people to build worship structures (ex the Temple) and although the work requires many artisans, there is one laborer that is granted this particular gift. It certainly includes a talent or passion for the arts, but as we know these things can and do exist outside of the church. Rather, the men in the OT who possess the gift of craftsmanship are more like overseers (supervisors or mobilizers) of the other artisans.

It has been difficult for me to pinpoint what exactly this means for me, but let me start by explaining how I have discovered what I am not. Through many spiritual gifts tests, I have often come up with the conclusion that I have a passion and ability for leadership as well as for administration. This is not entirely true, but it is a close representation of what I believe my gift to actually be. Craftsmanship, as Biblically defined and as I have seen in my own life, is a combination of these three elements: a passion for/talent for the arts, the ability to lead, and the means to organize others in this pursuit.

I see it as a gift under the umbrella of many other worship gifts. In that way I have often thought that it's pretty cool that Matt and I have such similar makeup, even though our mode of expression seems so different. When Matt leads musical worship, he is doing with music what I seek to lead others in doing with the arts.

So what exactly is it that I think I'm leading people to? Well, I believe that the act of creation can be an act of worship. I believe we were created in God's image and that includes the ability to create. I believe we were gifted with beauty and a love and appreciation for that beauty as both a call to worship and a means of worship. There is something in the arts, specifically in music but also in fine art, that captures the heart in a way that nothing else can. For my part, I believe that to be a mode of communication that opens our heart in different ways to our Creator; ways that words cannot.

That all sounds pretty vague and hippie-dippy, I know, but my point is that I think art is valuable to the Church as a way to worship and evangelize. The more we can harness our creative gifts, the more we can worship in a way that is transformational and the better we can represent Christ to the world around us. It is no wonder that Paul spoke of the physical world as being an undeniable representation of God. How can you experience something as beautiful as a sunset, a canyon, a snow-capped mountain and claim there is no God? And don't you think a God who has created so much beauty around us loves it when we worship him with our own expressions of beauty?

Because of a great many things in history (idolatry, iconoclasm... to name a couple), the fine arts have taken a backburner or been pushed out of the Western Church. There is a lot there that I can't tackle in this post, but my main goal is to mobilize other artists to worship, in a healthy way, by using their creative gifts. I believe this would change the way the entire church worships, even those who don't think of themselves as artistic or don't care much for art.

Specifically, I hope to become an administrator or leader (of sorts) for those who have creative abilities. I'd love to help them channel their individual gifts into modes of corporate worship... a great example would be leading the Stations of the Cross, which I have done at Ethnos in prior years. I have some other ideas of experiential worship events... things that allow artists to do what they do, and the church to experience God in a fresh way because of it. So if I were to sum it up in a few words, I suppose that is how I would describe my passion and where I think God is calling me forward in ministry.

Now I am trusting God that he will lead us to a place where Matt and I are both able to be mentored, equipped and encouraged in our individual and intersecting passions, and, most of all, where we are able to engage in service the way we hope to! I think there are some strong possibilities out there for us, and it's exciting to feel like we could be on the brink of a new chapter in our lives and ministry.

You can bet I'll be writing more about this as we continue our journey. I've really only shared about a tenth of what I've got bouncing around in my head, but it already feels like I'm trying to say too much too fast and not communicating clearly. I wish I had my husband's gift for blogging! Ah well. ;)

And with that I'm signing off... it's been a long day, parenting-wise, and I'm exhausted.

Something your friends may not tell you

Fifteen months after the birth of my daughter, my rib cage is just now beginning to return to it's previous size/shape. I am told this depends on the woman and that some bounce back more quickly than others, while some are permanently altered.

Personally I feel lucky that I am not too much the worse for wear. I partly attribute this to still being a young'un myself, so thanks, God, for that... ;)

Housekeeping

Occasionally (fine... daily) I time myself while performing random household tasks. I find it helps me to keep my perspective on the days I feel tempted to make statements like "I spend my whole life cleaning" or "I never have any free time."

My mom once gave me a great housekeeping tip, which was that if I could employ a general system of order and commit to cleaning once a week, then caring for my house would not be an overwhelming task. In other words, if your house is basically clean and organized, then a little bit of tidying every day keeps things from getting out of control.

I spend 5 minutes/day in each room of my house, and 15 minutes in the kitchen. It comes out to about 30 minutes a day. Doable. And then I stop.

So far, this system has been great, and I've become even more of a believer since Kisa has begun walking and flinging random items around the house. She has the ability to make my living room look like a war zone, but because of my timer, I now know that no matter how terrible the chaos seems, it only takes me an average of 2.5 minutes to correct.

I also know that it takes me only 4 minutes to unload and re-load my dishwasher, which is less than the amount of time it takes to make a cup of tea. Not bad.

So if I happen to walk into my house at 12:45pm (like I did today) and find every room cluttered with dirty dishes, toys and laundry in a questionable state of cleanliness, at the very least I can know that within 30 minutes I can be back to my tidy happy place. And I will still have at least an hour and a half of naptime left to relax. Or to blog.

An Addendum

One of the reasons I am so jazzed about Kisa's new sleep schedule is because I finally have the opportunity to get up before my daughter if I want. This was never a possibility before because she either: a) woke up before 6:30 or b) woke up when she heard me or Matt get up since she slept in our bed.

The timing of this really couldn't be better, cause it lets me have some lead time in the morning to have a quiet time and exercise. (I was just telling my dad and Emiko on Sunday that I'm having to adapt my workout routine to account for the rain. I have been jogging/walking most mornings, which works really well for both me and Kisa, but I know that won't be a possibility as we move toward winter.) Now I can get up early and work out indoors, which is ridiculously awesome.

I have spent the last week or so catching up on a year plus of missed sleep, but I was feeling well rested this morning and got up early to hit the gym (aka my living room with my set of dusty weights). Unfortunately for me, I seem to have some kind of mild stomach bug, and I couldn't bring myself to finish the routine.

Luckily today is a GORGEOUS day, so Kisa and I walked to the library instead and played on the playground. It was fun, and one of the first times I've been to a playground with her, since she is just now developing the necessary skills to actually play on one. I have discovered that she really, REALLY likes slides. Or maybe she just likes squealing when sliding down them.

Sweet Dreams

Over the last week or so, we have noticed some significant improvements in Kisa's sleeping, which is something that has been a struggle from the beginning. After many attempts at sleep training, we eventually resigned ourselves to the idea that she would sleep on her own when she was ready, and tried our best to cope with it.

I haven't changed a thing about her routine and can't point my finger to a variable that might have influenced her decision to sleep on her own. But I am ready for it. She has been doing some sort of 8pm-8am routine at nights in her crib, and for the last month or more has been putting herself down without a peep for naps and at bedtime.

It is crazy now to think about how much work it used to be to put her down for the night, and how much stress it gave us. It has probably been the biggest ongoing parenting struggle thus far. To see some measurable improvement is amazing. FINALLY!

I kind of love the way this worked out and that there is no explanation or change in behavior to lead to such a sudden improvement. It just reinforces, to me, my belief that some things will happen in their own time. No amount of stress or worry or tears or bedtime stories or parenting advice made my kid sleep better. She just figured it out, with a little bit of help, when she was ready.

It can be unbelievably frustrating at times... but that is just parenthood.