Some recent events have really had me pondering some points of my character and thinking about how to change the things I'm not too fond of.
I am a very creative person, which is something I'm very proud of and, honestly, one of the things that brings joy to my life. I love to design and create things. I love learning new skills and I love being able to hold something in my hands and say to myself, "I made this."
My brain follows a million different projects at a time; I have barely written down an idea for one thing when I am already thinking about the next. It can get overwhelming at times.
The thing that bothers me about this, and I'm sure it is a common complaint among creative people, is that with so many ideas and plans, it is really difficult to be a man or woman of your word.
I really value stability and trustworthiness in others, but neither are traits I excel in myself. When I say I am going to do any given thing, I genuinely mean it and get excited about it, but mere months later I find myself struggling to follow through, if I follow through at all. Usually by then I have come up with a "better" or "more important" plan and justify my "moving on" from previous projects.
Anyway, in recent history I've begun to see the negative effect this can have on others, and I've started to think about how I can work on being more of a "do-er" than a "say-er". Life and plans change, and at my age and in this stage of life, I know I am naturally going to be less stable than others around me. But I would love to be the person who can be trusted to do what they say they will do. I would love to be described as punctual, reliable, and stable.
So I'm not really sure how to get there. I think sometimes it will require gritting my teeth and following through on something even though I'm ready to quit. I'm sure I'll learn to choose my words carefully when I commit to things or explain my visions. I know that I will need to pray a lot about where God wants me to spend my time, and surrender my plans to Him.
Anyway, my point is that I could use some prayer. I feel like this is a weak point in my character that has the potential to really harm my ministry, and I really want to work on it so that I am able to effectively serve the way God has intended.
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2 comments:
Recognition of a goal is the single biggest step to achieving that goal! I'll pray for you!
I used to be "like that" a number of years ago... full of crazy vision for different projects with a huge list of them that many didn't get done. Now I'm lacking inspiration and much drive, but my list doesn't really exist anymore either. I really used to feel VERY artistic... now I hardly even classify myself as an artist. It's pretty weird. I think everyone in my life would have agreed too... they just assumed I was an "artist" and would always be. Not so sure anymore.
My newest list is of blog entries I want to write (which, like my former list of art projects, is really long, and I don't get to write them all)... so I guess that's my focus now. Interesting thing in French over on the right... Took 2 years of high school French and don't know zip. So hello. I was just perusing the Ethnos forum for blogs to visit and gave yours a click. Have a good one. God bless.
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