Fleas

What I am about to say is likely going to incur the wrath of my husband and without a doubt that of my extended family, but in the interest of openness and honesty here it comes:

I have discovered that I do not particularly enjoy being a pet owner.

I think it has something to do with both the disposition of our cat and the plethora of medical problems he has had in the last year or so. And maybe also that since I have become a mom caring for him has become primarily my responsibility instead of Matt's.

I think I used to kind of enjoy Zeus when I was pregnant and had lots of time but didn't have to take care of him at all. I have a handful of memories of us cuddling and even once showing some of my coworkers pictures I had taken of him on my phone. But that is the only time in the history of my relationship with Zeus that I remember our bond progressing even slightly beyond mere tolerance.

Even though I feed him, water him, change his litter box, pet him, play with him, let him sleep in our bed, clean up his puke, give him medicine, take him to the vet and even cuddle him on occasion (when HE allows it) my reward from him is usually a hiss or a bite. Lately, he's even batted at/bitten Kisa once or twice, which makes my blood boil.

Soooo. His most recent thing is fleas, which I am terrified of. After we found one flea on him I literally have spent the past 2 1/2 days scrubbing our house and washing everything in sight. I haven't seen a flea anywhere else besides on him or dead on the floor, but I am panicked by the idea of little bugs crawling around our house biting us and laying sick eggs. Even I can see that I am slightly over-reacting (I'm pretty sure the pros aren't as thorough as I have been) but I don't care. I don't want a flea-infested house or cat.

Anyway, in the midst of all of this, I have felt about 10% bad for Zeus and about 90% annoyed. I feel bad saying that, because you are supposed to love your pets, right? But I was not raised to have familial-type love for animals and having an actual child makes everything relating to the cat seem so much less important.

Now... before you judge. Please re-read the list of things I do for him. I do everything for this cat. I am the one who notices when he is sick and does something about it. Were it not for me, I doubt we would have noticed the flea situation for at least another week until they started to attack us or multiply out of control. So... it's not like I ignore him or neglect him. I'm not mean to him. But I have begun to think of him as the "weird uncle" of our family, the one you just have to tolerate because he's in your family whether you like it or not.

Zeus is one of the not-so-small things I have compromised on out of love for my husband, and in the last several years I have not complained much about him, so maybe it's just reached a pressure point or something. Regardless. It feels good to have gotten it off my chest.

Lastly, to my dear family members: let me just clarify that I am not saying I hate all animals. I enjoy your pets from a distance, similar to the way that one enjoys being an aunt or uncle but doesn't want to be a parent themselves.