God is good!

On Thursday, Matt and I had a trip to the doctor and sat down with one of their receptionists to talk over my health coverage and figure out what our fees were going to look like. I feel uncomfortable using exact numbers, but suffice it to say that making a baby comes with a pretty hefty price tag. Although we could pay the medical bills without accruing any more debt, it would seriously diminish our savings. Which is not something you want to do when you're adding a family member, taking time off work, and learning how to juggle parenthood and employee-hood.

But God is really, really good to us. This year we received a great tax return that will cover almost half of our prenatal/delivery expenses. It was a blessing, but it was also a blessing we had expected, which unfortunately made us a little less thankful than we should have been.

Well, we received another great gift from God yesterday and this was one we weren't expecting. One of the perks of Matt's job (which I am neverendingly thankful for: both that he was so selfless and responsible at such an early age to pursue a career that would support a family AND that God has protected his position so far in a stumbling economy) is that he has really great health coverage. I am not on his health plan and could not switch after becoming pregnant, so I didn't think we would reap any of the benefits of this coverage. One of these benefits is a flexible spending account. Which, for anyone who doesn't know (like me until yesterday) means that Matt and his employer have been saving money in a designated account for the last couple of years. This money can be used to pay for random medical expenses not covered by his plan. Thankfully, Matt has had none and has been accruing money in this account for a while now. Yesterday, we discovered that we could use this money to pay for my medical bills. And guess what-- it will cover exactly half.

Which means that God has chosen to bless us with the exact amount we need to pay for our child without sacrificing our savings.

To me this is an overwhelmingly good gift from a Father who CLEARLY loves us. I mean, this would have been difficult, but it wasn't impossible. For some reason I have always thought that God provides in "extreme" ways only when you are hanging on for dear life and can't make ends meet. It blows me away that He would do this for us before we even really had a need.

I was so moved by this yesterday that it brought tears to my eyes while I was at work, and again now while writing this. I don't know if I have ever felt God so tangibly as during this pregnancy. It was so hard in the beginning to surrender my disappointment and my fears when God gave us this baby. It was so not what we has planned, and I had never felt more unprepared or out of control. But over the past few months He has slowly uncovered this grand plan, and every step of the way He has provided so that every would-be obstacle has become an amazing example of His love for us and reassurance that He means this for our joy as well as His glory. I have wondered over and over again if I could be a good mother and why God would saddle me with such responsibility when I still feel like a child myself. And over and over He would soothe my fears and show me the beauty of it all. From the very small to the very large he has provided for every need we have had, from maternity clothes to baby items to delivery costs. He has protected our child and kept her healthy even when there are so many things that could go wrong. And He has completely changed my heart.

Anyway, I could probably blather on and on but I will stop it here and just say God is good and today I am overwhelmed by this simple truth.