Baby!

Even though Matt already gave his whole rundown of our first doctor's visit, I am still going to do the same. I don't think I could possibly forget it, but I want to be sure I have a record of it.
I had been equal parts excited about and dreading our first OB visit. They had to reschedule me once and because of that our appointment wasn't with our regular doctor-- who I haven't even met yet. As it is they just BARELY squeezed me in before the end of the first trimester. (According to yesterday's ultrasound we are pretty much at twelve weeks today or tomorrow.)
Anyway, the lady who we DID meet with was really nice and totally put me at ease. She was a nurse midwife, not an OB, but I liked her and I hope that our doctor is as good. I was REALLY anxious about all of the tests I would have to take, and I cried a little bit in the morning thinking about it. But it turned out not to be bad at all. I HATE getting my blood drawn more than anything, and yesterday I had to get blood drawn out of BOTH of my arms (I wish they would have technology powerful enough that they would only need a drop of blood for each test, or, better yet, a drop of blood on which they could perform all four tests). And maybe it was just me, but the vials seemed huge and never ending. Luckily Matt was there for moral support, so I put on a brave face to impress him. :)
Seriously though, all of the awkward and painful stuff was nothing even hearing the baby's heartbeat, which was incredible. It only took her a second to find and I was so excited I couldn't stop giggling... it took a long time for me to sit still enough to get a clear reading of it. Baby hearts beat so fast! And thank God there was only one heartbeat and not THREE like Dave had me worrying about.
We were all set to leave after that, but somebody had canceled their ultrasound appointment so they squeezed us in at the last minute. Women have complained to me about ultrasounds before and I seriously don't get it. This was the coolest thing I have ever done in my life. If I could be getting an ultrasound right now I would be. If I could buy an ultrasound MACHINE and set it up in my living room and look at my baby all day I would do it. It was just that cool.
We only brought home a couple of pictures, but we got to see a lot more in the doctor's office. We saw both hands and feet, the legs, the tummy, the tiny bladder, the skull, the umbilical cord (they even do this thing where they can show you the blood pumping through the umbilical cord to the baby-- that is way cool) and then they zoom out and show you how big it is in comparison to the rest of you, and it is TINY.

I don't think I can really accurately describe how amazing it is to see or hear your child for the first time. I was prepared for it, and had been told by everyone how great it would be, but it still brought up new feelings for me. I'm not sure if I could put them into words, but I'll try. I newly reconsidered, and for the first time really understood, the concept that I am sharing my body and that the things I do affect my baby-- what I eat, drink, and how I exercise. It is easy, especially as early as I am and with all the crazy symptoms I have been experiencing, to get caught up in how I feel and how all this is affecting me. This was the first time I truly got beyond myself a bit. Another thing that was weird is that seeing your baby up on an ultrasound screen, or hearing their little heartbeat, is really your first reassurance that they're in there. And it connects you with them. And then I went home and was looking at the ultrasound pictures, and thinking how ironic that my baby has been here all along, and is closer than the picture I am holding in my hand, and yet this is the first time I really feel close to him or her. And even though he or she is right here with me all of the time I still feel like they are so far away because I can't see or hear or feel them.
I don't know how to describe it, I know all the other moms will read this and get what I am saying, and maybe the dads too, but it is an incredible feeling.

Anyway, I really have to start getting ready for work now or I'm going to be late.