Well, so much for my big accomplishment of last year (losing 25-30lbs). I can already feel myself getting bigger. Unfortunately for me, I carry weight in my tummy anyway, so I didn't need to add very much to get a visible bump. It sucks.
I already hit the jeans-won't-button mark and you can't even imagine how many tears have been shed over that fiasco. I did what every good weight watchers member would do and got rid of all my "fat" clothes when I lost weight, so I have very few things that fit/look good (I bought a lot of figure hugging clothes which are no longer fun to look at).
I am finding it very difficult to emotionally surrender to the changes taking place in my body. I remember talking to pregnant friends and thinking it was silly for them to complain about being "fat"... I mean, they were pregnant, and looked pregnant; it doesn't look the same as if you spent the last couple months overeating. But now that it's me, I feel pretty depressed about the whole deal. One friend I have likes to point out my "baby bump" and keeps asking me if I'm showing because, according to her, it looks like I'm showing. I love this friend dearly, but part of me wants to still be friends with her when she gets prego so I can be the first to tell her how fat she looks. I mean, really, how oblivious can you be? There is no other time in life when it's okay to point out someone else's fat tummy but now that you're prego it's okay to comment on the size and the shape? Plus, what do I say because at this point it probably really isn't baby... it's more all the cheese and salty things baby makes me eat. Anyway, it's frustrating and I know it's inevitable and I know everyone means well but I really don't want to gain back the 30+ pounds I just lost. Especially not this soon.
My mom and sister and I went shopping last night for some clothes to wear in the meantime (since I am not big enough for maternity clothes yet). I figured I will need some bigger clothes when I am in the process of losing weight next year. Plus, one of Matt's friends who recently had a baby showed me these cool things called belly bands that keep your pants up if they are too big/small and unbuttoned. So I got a couple of those to help me transition.
And now onto another topic entirely... I didn't know how to make resolutions this year. I'm sure if I were to look at my resolutions from last year they would all be totally irrelevant. At this time last year I was not even engaged. Well, this year I have even less of an idea of where life is headed and the common ones (lose weight, get a new job or go back to school, etc) don't really apply. So I made two resolutions, and these are them: 1) to pray for my husband and baby every day and 2)to read to my baby in utero. For now that is all I can think of.
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6 comments:
I try to never comment on an apparent 'baby-bump' even when I KNOW a woman is pregnant. I originally purposed to do this because I didn't want to make an embarrassing mistake like a couple I have personally witnessed. Now, I feel that you have given me another reason. I'm sorry to read that this is a tough transition for you, especially in light of all your hard work last year. Hang in there friend!
Someone just showed me a belly band the other day, those things are bad ass.
As much as it sucks gaining weight, just don't forget that you're disciplined and capable of losing weight again when it's time. You have learned all the skills necessary to maintain a healthy weight and lifestyle, and it just means putting some of your discipline on hold for a while. As much hard work as it will be to lose the weight again, it won't be anything like the first time, because this time you'll already know what you're doing and how your body responds to different things. You'll be fine love, just try and relax for now! And be nice to Matt in the midst of a clothing crisis :) He's only trying to help.
I love your resolutions!
Never fear. Nurse. The weight will come off. I am down to my pre-Adaya weight. Now I just have to get rid of my extra weight, that which you have already delt with. You went in looking great and you will again before the baby is one.
I just realized yesterday that I have a great book to pass on to you. It's a birthing book. I loved the artistic nature of it, even did some of the "art projects." I think you'll appriciate it too.
You are beautiful and I love you.
Oh my sweet Ciara. Don't you know that the child inside you is first a gift of God and second a blessing to all of us who love you? You won't get fat, you will become more beautiful. And Kristin is right, you know the do's and dont's of eating and you will get back to it when you can. Eat healthy and sensibly now and you will do just fine. And your resolutions are beautiful and perfect, like you!...... Vicki
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