I hate croup. I really, REALLY hate it.
Kisa came down with croup this weekend for the third or fourth time in her short life, but this was the worst case she has ever had before. I spent Friday morning at the pediatrician and Sunday morning at the ER trying to figure out what was wrong (I should have known croup when I saw it, but I guess I just hoped it would be something else). The ER doctor informed me that Kisa has smaller airways than the average toddler, which is probably why her lungs get so easily inflamed and why almost every cold she has ever caught has ended in croup. She is an unusually healthy child, so the reality is the only real illness we've ever dealt with is croup. And we've done it several times in the last year and a half.
In short, he told me to learn how to deal with it because it is the way her body responds to illness. Kids grow out of "croup" as they get older and their airways enlarge, but she will probably always be prone to respiratory illness and will get coughs more often than her peers. This is a wonderful trait she has inherited from her daddy.
Luckily, the older you get the less dangerous respiratory illnesses become (well... to a point), so hopefully there will come a time when her coughs are just coughs and not cause for alarm.
However. It is still a really scary and annoying illness. It's basically just the common cold settling in a kid's lungs, but it causes a cough and phlegm that can clog your airways and make you choke/asphyxiate. There's nothing you can do to treat it except push steroids (which help decrease inflammation and open up your airways) and ibuprofen to keep irritation down. Cough medicines don't work at all.
But probably the number one reason I hate croup is because it is so deceptive. You wake up in the morning to a basically healthy kid and think, "really? Did I just imagine them almost suffocating last night? They seem FINE right now." All day they play happily and seem barely bothered by a slight cough. You question the decision you made at 3am in the morning to call the doctor when the office opens for the day. You think you must be past the worst of it, or maybe you were just overreacting. Then 8 or 9 pm rolls around and they are gagging and sputtering and your only option is to deal with it or pack them in the car and head to the ER... and you think, what the hell? THEY WERE JUST FINE.
So that is why I hate croup. Because no matter how many times I've dealt with it, despite knowing what it is and the symptoms and remedies, it is still surprisingly terrifying and stressful. Every single time.
Sigh.
Monday, November 07, 2011
Wednesday, September 07, 2011
An addendum to my last post
I have discovered that Kisa does not understand the word "some". Ask her if she would like some of something (some peas, some cheese, some toys) and she will look at you like you just offered to give her a shot or put her down for naptime.
If, however, you ask her if she would like peas, or more peas, or cold peas, or hot peas, (you get the idea) she will understand you perfectly and a tantrum will be avoided.
Kids are crazy.
If, however, you ask her if she would like peas, or more peas, or cold peas, or hot peas, (you get the idea) she will understand you perfectly and a tantrum will be avoided.
Kids are crazy.
Friday, September 02, 2011
Conversations with toddlers
Kisa: (apocalyptic meltdown)
Me: Kisa, are you hungry?
Kisa: YES! (panic) Ok, YES!!!
Me: What do you want to eat?
Kisa: Fishes!
Me: You want fishes?
Kisa: No! NO! NO! NO!
Me: Do you want a strawberry bar?
Kisa: NO!
Me: Do you want some cheese?
Kisa: NO!
Me: Do you want some crackers?
Kisa: No! NOOOOO! (resume apocalyptic meltdown)
Kisa: Fishes!
Me: Do you want some fishes?
Kisa: No!
Kisa: Fishes!
Me: Do you want fishes?
Kisa: Ok, YES!
Sigh.
Me: Kisa, are you hungry?
Kisa: YES! (panic) Ok, YES!!!
Me: What do you want to eat?
Kisa: Fishes!
Me: You want fishes?
Kisa: No! NO! NO! NO!
Me: Do you want a strawberry bar?
Kisa: NO!
Me: Do you want some cheese?
Kisa: NO!
Me: Do you want some crackers?
Kisa: No! NOOOOO! (resume apocalyptic meltdown)
Kisa: Fishes!
Me: Do you want some fishes?
Kisa: No!
Kisa: Fishes!
Me: Do you want fishes?
Kisa: Ok, YES!
Sigh.
Wednesday, August 31, 2011
Interactive Play Mat for B
Note: I realize it's been a thousand years since my last blog post... so I'm going to do what any normal person would do and carry on as if there has been absolutely no gap in time whatsoever. :)
I have this girlfriend, Allie, who is quite the world traveler. Her husband's work takes him on business trips frequently- and she often gets to join him (with toddler in tow). Recently her family has decided to temporarily relocate to Indiana, which means she will be making a lot of plane trips back to Portland over the next year to visit friends and family. And she will be bringing her two-year-old on these trips. (I know, she's like supermom, I can't even fathom it).
ANYWAY. Allie came up with this GREAT idea for moms like her who are often in situations when they need to keep their little ones quietly occupied. It is sort of like a "quiet book"- made of fabric and with plenty of things for kids to interact with- buttons, snaps, zipeprs, etc. Instead of being a book, it is about the size of playmat and can roll up to be stowed in a purse or diaper bag. Neat idea, huh? Perfect for plane travel or while waiting for your meal at the restaurant.
As a going away present, I decided to tackle this project for Allie to (hopefully) keep her son occupied on his many trips back to visit us. I am pretty proud of the results so I thought I would show it off and give my blog a much-needed update (whoops, I mentioned my slacking off).
So (drumroll please) here it is:
The whole project is made of felt with two exceptions, which I will mention when I get to them. Let's start with the tree. The apples attach to the tree with magnets and can be interchanged with flowers (which are hidden inside a secret pocket in the tree trunk). The tire swing is only attached to the tree at the branch, so it swings around like a real tire swing (Kisa thought this was AWESOME. I had to go back to the drawing board after she ripped the first tire swing off the tree branch. She is an excellent product tester.)
The rope ladder is made of yarn, and the bucket at the bottom of the tree is a pocket filled with six apples on strings, for little hands to stuff in and pull out to their heart's content.
What you are seeing in this (really poor quality- sorry, I am just too lazy to go back and take another pic) shot is the center of the playmat. Little items of clothing attach with velcro to a clothesline. The flowers attach to their stems with snaps, and the ball slides up and down the grass. All the people (and the cat) that you see are backed with velcro so they can move anywhere (and attach to anything) on the play mat.
I really like the little house.
The flower patch is the same (snaps), but the door "opens" with a button. The roof of the house lifts up and the inside of the house is a pocket, where you can store the family when they are not in use. My favorite find was the little windows- they are actually tiny mirrors. :)
The sky:
The clouds are made of nylon and stuffed with plastic bags to make a little rustling sound (that didn't work out as well as I had hoped- oh well. The little pearlized beads symbolize raindrops. The ribbons (which you can tie and untie) are meant to be little birds.
The sun is made out of a felt, a bright yellow button, and a bunch of ribbon with free edges. I know how little kids love to play with tags and ribbons.
And, my favorite addition (a practical one, of course)... the suction cups at top, allowing you to secure the mat to a table/tray table to prevent that whole flinging thing that toddlers are sooooooo good at. :)
So... there you have it! An interactive play mat, the size of a place mat, that rolls up and then secures with a buckle:
The little red bag you see contains extras of the little pieces (since toddlers are also really great at losing small items).
And it all stows away in this little bag, which keeps it safe in your purse next to the sippy cup and the crushed-up goldfish crackers (don't pretend like you don't have those in your purse):
This is, by far, the most fun project I have ever worked on. I hope it buys Allie plenty of quiet time on plane trips. :) I plan on making a duplicate for Kisa soon (she fell in love)... after my fingers recover from all the hand-stitching. :)
I have this girlfriend, Allie, who is quite the world traveler. Her husband's work takes him on business trips frequently- and she often gets to join him (with toddler in tow). Recently her family has decided to temporarily relocate to Indiana, which means she will be making a lot of plane trips back to Portland over the next year to visit friends and family. And she will be bringing her two-year-old on these trips. (I know, she's like supermom, I can't even fathom it).
ANYWAY. Allie came up with this GREAT idea for moms like her who are often in situations when they need to keep their little ones quietly occupied. It is sort of like a "quiet book"- made of fabric and with plenty of things for kids to interact with- buttons, snaps, zipeprs, etc. Instead of being a book, it is about the size of playmat and can roll up to be stowed in a purse or diaper bag. Neat idea, huh? Perfect for plane travel or while waiting for your meal at the restaurant.
As a going away present, I decided to tackle this project for Allie to (hopefully) keep her son occupied on his many trips back to visit us. I am pretty proud of the results so I thought I would show it off and give my blog a much-needed update (whoops, I mentioned my slacking off).
So (drumroll please) here it is:
The whole project is made of felt with two exceptions, which I will mention when I get to them. Let's start with the tree. The apples attach to the tree with magnets and can be interchanged with flowers (which are hidden inside a secret pocket in the tree trunk). The tire swing is only attached to the tree at the branch, so it swings around like a real tire swing (Kisa thought this was AWESOME. I had to go back to the drawing board after she ripped the first tire swing off the tree branch. She is an excellent product tester.)
The rope ladder is made of yarn, and the bucket at the bottom of the tree is a pocket filled with six apples on strings, for little hands to stuff in and pull out to their heart's content.
What you are seeing in this (really poor quality- sorry, I am just too lazy to go back and take another pic) shot is the center of the playmat. Little items of clothing attach with velcro to a clothesline. The flowers attach to their stems with snaps, and the ball slides up and down the grass. All the people (and the cat) that you see are backed with velcro so they can move anywhere (and attach to anything) on the play mat.
I really like the little house.
The flower patch is the same (snaps), but the door "opens" with a button. The roof of the house lifts up and the inside of the house is a pocket, where you can store the family when they are not in use. My favorite find was the little windows- they are actually tiny mirrors. :)
The sky:
The clouds are made of nylon and stuffed with plastic bags to make a little rustling sound (that didn't work out as well as I had hoped- oh well. The little pearlized beads symbolize raindrops. The ribbons (which you can tie and untie) are meant to be little birds.
The sun is made out of a felt, a bright yellow button, and a bunch of ribbon with free edges. I know how little kids love to play with tags and ribbons.
And, my favorite addition (a practical one, of course)... the suction cups at top, allowing you to secure the mat to a table/tray table to prevent that whole flinging thing that toddlers are sooooooo good at. :)
So... there you have it! An interactive play mat, the size of a place mat, that rolls up and then secures with a buckle:
The little red bag you see contains extras of the little pieces (since toddlers are also really great at losing small items).
And it all stows away in this little bag, which keeps it safe in your purse next to the sippy cup and the crushed-up goldfish crackers (don't pretend like you don't have those in your purse):
This is, by far, the most fun project I have ever worked on. I hope it buys Allie plenty of quiet time on plane trips. :) I plan on making a duplicate for Kisa soon (she fell in love)... after my fingers recover from all the hand-stitching. :)
Tuesday, March 29, 2011
Recent Projects
I've been digging out my sewing machine for quite a few projects lately. I find that it's great therapy when you're having a tough day, and I love the productivity- making something out of almost nothing. Kid projects are easy and take the least resources (fabric and notions) so that's what I've been doing. Thought I would share some of my pieces here:
This first one is a dress I made for Kisa out of fabric scraps... I made a similar one in a floral fabric for her BFF Millie and a matching one for Millie's baby sister Sophie. I ended up having enough plain fabric left over to whip up another dress. Since it was a little on the simple side, I added three coordinating rosettes on the waistband. I think it turned out pretty cute... a little on the long side, but hopefully she will be able to wear this all spring and summer. The straps tie so they are adjustable which is neat for little kiddos.
(Here is a link to the pattern which, of course, was free: http://www.made-by-rae.com/2008/05/itty-bitty-dress-take-ii-only-not-as.html)
This one is one of my favorites... not because the fabric is super great, but because Kisa looks amazing in bright blue and the summery-ness of the outfit makes me feel happy inside, even though it will be months before she can wear it out of our house.
The rest of the outfits in this blog were made out of some of Matt's old dress shirts. He was throwing some stuff out the other day, and I just can't stand to see stuff leave my house if I can find something useful to do with it. So I snatched up four shirts and set to work. This particular one was a long sleeve, so I was able to sew the entire top out of the fabric just in the sleeves! Isn't that incredible? The bloomers took up most of the rest of the shirt.
This outfit cost me $1 to make, since I had to buy the elastic for the bloomers, but I used the buttons from Matt's old shirt and had white thread on hand. So it was super cheap! I should mention that if anyone wants to use this pattern, the bloomers are huuuuuuuuge... the pattern was for a 3 month old and these are pretty big on Kisa. She's got little(ish) hips, but still.
(Links to the patterns: Bloomers- http://madquilter.blogspot.com/2010/04/knotted-bow-bloomers.html and Toddler Top- http://www.prudentbaby.com/2010/05/snappy-toddler-top-free-downloadable.html)
This jumper is made out of another one of Matt's shirts, and trimmed with fabric from one of my old shirts. I love jumpers because they are so versatile (worn with leggings and a turtleneck in fall/winter or alone in the summer. You can adjust the buttons as they grow so it will hopefully last a while too!).
As you can see, I have some trouble adhering to the "rules", so I definitely took liberties with some of these patterns. Anyway, here is a link to the jumper pattern I used: http://www.ikatbag.com/2010/01/dress-for-winter-iv-gathered-jumper_15.html
Finally, this is an apron made from another one of Matt's old shirts. It was a pretty nice one, but it had an Axium logo, so it was out! Black isn't really a great color on little girls so I made it into an apron (so helpful for those messy toddler games) and tried to spunk it up a little with some pink accents. I'm not sure how I feel about this one, but hey, it was free and it will protect her other clothes from messes, so that's what matters. Right?!
Apron Pattern here: http://supamb.com/supafine/2007/08/24/sewing-how-to-make-a-kid-sized-chef-apron/
P.S. Isn't that picture hysterical? This kid is destined for a modeling career for sure!
That is it for now, although I have my eye on a couple other patterns I found online and at least one shirt left to recycle, so I'm sure I'll be posting more projects soon. :)
This first one is a dress I made for Kisa out of fabric scraps... I made a similar one in a floral fabric for her BFF Millie and a matching one for Millie's baby sister Sophie. I ended up having enough plain fabric left over to whip up another dress. Since it was a little on the simple side, I added three coordinating rosettes on the waistband. I think it turned out pretty cute... a little on the long side, but hopefully she will be able to wear this all spring and summer. The straps tie so they are adjustable which is neat for little kiddos.
(Here is a link to the pattern which, of course, was free: http://www.made-by-rae.com/2008/05/itty-bitty-dress-take-ii-only-not-as.html)
This one is one of my favorites... not because the fabric is super great, but because Kisa looks amazing in bright blue and the summery-ness of the outfit makes me feel happy inside, even though it will be months before she can wear it out of our house.
The rest of the outfits in this blog were made out of some of Matt's old dress shirts. He was throwing some stuff out the other day, and I just can't stand to see stuff leave my house if I can find something useful to do with it. So I snatched up four shirts and set to work. This particular one was a long sleeve, so I was able to sew the entire top out of the fabric just in the sleeves! Isn't that incredible? The bloomers took up most of the rest of the shirt.
This outfit cost me $1 to make, since I had to buy the elastic for the bloomers, but I used the buttons from Matt's old shirt and had white thread on hand. So it was super cheap! I should mention that if anyone wants to use this pattern, the bloomers are huuuuuuuuge... the pattern was for a 3 month old and these are pretty big on Kisa. She's got little(ish) hips, but still.
(Links to the patterns: Bloomers- http://madquilter.blogspot.com/2010/04/knotted-bow-bloomers.html and Toddler Top- http://www.prudentbaby.com/2010/05/snappy-toddler-top-free-downloadable.html)
This jumper is made out of another one of Matt's shirts, and trimmed with fabric from one of my old shirts. I love jumpers because they are so versatile (worn with leggings and a turtleneck in fall/winter or alone in the summer. You can adjust the buttons as they grow so it will hopefully last a while too!).
As you can see, I have some trouble adhering to the "rules", so I definitely took liberties with some of these patterns. Anyway, here is a link to the jumper pattern I used: http://www.ikatbag.com/2010/01/dress-for-winter-iv-gathered-jumper_15.html
Finally, this is an apron made from another one of Matt's old shirts. It was a pretty nice one, but it had an Axium logo, so it was out! Black isn't really a great color on little girls so I made it into an apron (so helpful for those messy toddler games) and tried to spunk it up a little with some pink accents. I'm not sure how I feel about this one, but hey, it was free and it will protect her other clothes from messes, so that's what matters. Right?!
Apron Pattern here: http://supamb.com/supafine/2007/08/24/sewing-how-to-make-a-kid-sized-chef-apron/
P.S. Isn't that picture hysterical? This kid is destined for a modeling career for sure!
That is it for now, although I have my eye on a couple other patterns I found online and at least one shirt left to recycle, so I'm sure I'll be posting more projects soon. :)
Thursday, March 10, 2011
Social Explosion
I have been meaning to blog for a long time, but honestly, life with a toddler is busy busy busy and yet surprisingly unproductive. ;)
So I blogged recently about the church Matt and I (mostly just me but Matt on occasion) have been attending, Westport. I am too lazy to link to that blog, but you can search back through my archives if you want to reference it or if you missed it. That's just a little background on some of what I plan to talk about in this particular blog.
So... to start off with, I am young. I mean really really young, and I feel it. A lot. Though there are parts of my life where I am, as you would say, "ahead of the curve", the truth is I have only lived on this earth for 23 years and I am not nearly as wise or as self-aware as I feel like I should be.
I find this particularly important when I think about the changes that have been going on in our lives over the past few months and how I have been coping with them. As you all know, our church of several years closed, and Matt and I went on a city-wide "church hunt" to look for a new body for our family to join. It has been a great experience for me in more ways than one, but probably the most essential way has been what it has taught me about myself and the way I perceive myself.
I don't wish to say anything negative about Ethnos, and I'm sure some people will hear it that way regardless of the words I use. But the truth is that by the time Ethnos ended, I was exhausted and looking for some things I felt I had really missed out on (at least in the last several months or year): community with other moms, the ability to serve in the areas I was most passionate and talented, and bible study.
I don't mean to say those things didn't happen at Ethnos, because they definitely did and in fact, the way these things happened at Ethnos has probably formed a lot of my expectations of how church should be. But by the end, it wasn't enough for me. I wanted lots of moms to chat with and have playdates. I wanted lots of artists to create and bring to fruition huge projects. Most of all I have really wanted a personal mentor and a consistent bible study.
So during this time of transition for us, I have been throwing myself headlong into every opportunity that has come my way: relationships, ministries, activities, bible studies. I have found a mentor (she is an amazing lady who I will have to reserve a separate blog for) who I plan to meet with regularly, I have connected with more than one group of mothers and made several really great friendships, and in the near future I hope to help out with the A/V team at Westport. They also have a bible study that I will probably join.
The passion with which I have pursued all these different things reminds me of a kid who has been inside all winter and can finally go out to play in the sun. I am just excited about life and about all the different ways to spread my wings.
I am discovering, as a Christian, how much joy there is in the Gospel message, the community of believers, and the world that God has created for us. That probably sounds crazy, but too much of my adult life I have spent dealing only with the muck and the grime of life and surrounding myself with people who do the same. I don't want to be that person. I want to be a person who is marked by love, joy, and the peace of Christ in her life. I want to be someone who is a good and loyal friend, a faithful servant, and an encouragement in tough times.
As a leader, I also want to be someone who leads with joy and not with fear. I think this is key. I have always thought of myself as a leader and believe it to be one of my spiritual gifts (I have blogged about this before too). But I think my failures to lead well in the past have been tied up in my own negativity- by attempting to control others or by failing to keep my eyes on the goal.
Anyway, I know this blog is pretty much pure madness. I try to be coherent, but honestly, I don't have a ton of time inside my own head at this stage of life, so a lot of my processing happens on this blog. Hopefully you can follow my rabbit trails and see what I am trying to say.
So I blogged recently about the church Matt and I (mostly just me but Matt on occasion) have been attending, Westport. I am too lazy to link to that blog, but you can search back through my archives if you want to reference it or if you missed it. That's just a little background on some of what I plan to talk about in this particular blog.
So... to start off with, I am young. I mean really really young, and I feel it. A lot. Though there are parts of my life where I am, as you would say, "ahead of the curve", the truth is I have only lived on this earth for 23 years and I am not nearly as wise or as self-aware as I feel like I should be.
I find this particularly important when I think about the changes that have been going on in our lives over the past few months and how I have been coping with them. As you all know, our church of several years closed, and Matt and I went on a city-wide "church hunt" to look for a new body for our family to join. It has been a great experience for me in more ways than one, but probably the most essential way has been what it has taught me about myself and the way I perceive myself.
I don't wish to say anything negative about Ethnos, and I'm sure some people will hear it that way regardless of the words I use. But the truth is that by the time Ethnos ended, I was exhausted and looking for some things I felt I had really missed out on (at least in the last several months or year): community with other moms, the ability to serve in the areas I was most passionate and talented, and bible study.
I don't mean to say those things didn't happen at Ethnos, because they definitely did and in fact, the way these things happened at Ethnos has probably formed a lot of my expectations of how church should be. But by the end, it wasn't enough for me. I wanted lots of moms to chat with and have playdates. I wanted lots of artists to create and bring to fruition huge projects. Most of all I have really wanted a personal mentor and a consistent bible study.
So during this time of transition for us, I have been throwing myself headlong into every opportunity that has come my way: relationships, ministries, activities, bible studies. I have found a mentor (she is an amazing lady who I will have to reserve a separate blog for) who I plan to meet with regularly, I have connected with more than one group of mothers and made several really great friendships, and in the near future I hope to help out with the A/V team at Westport. They also have a bible study that I will probably join.
The passion with which I have pursued all these different things reminds me of a kid who has been inside all winter and can finally go out to play in the sun. I am just excited about life and about all the different ways to spread my wings.
I am discovering, as a Christian, how much joy there is in the Gospel message, the community of believers, and the world that God has created for us. That probably sounds crazy, but too much of my adult life I have spent dealing only with the muck and the grime of life and surrounding myself with people who do the same. I don't want to be that person. I want to be a person who is marked by love, joy, and the peace of Christ in her life. I want to be someone who is a good and loyal friend, a faithful servant, and an encouragement in tough times.
As a leader, I also want to be someone who leads with joy and not with fear. I think this is key. I have always thought of myself as a leader and believe it to be one of my spiritual gifts (I have blogged about this before too). But I think my failures to lead well in the past have been tied up in my own negativity- by attempting to control others or by failing to keep my eyes on the goal.
Anyway, I know this blog is pretty much pure madness. I try to be coherent, but honestly, I don't have a ton of time inside my own head at this stage of life, so a lot of my processing happens on this blog. Hopefully you can follow my rabbit trails and see what I am trying to say.
Monday, February 28, 2011
I'm gonna be honest: I don't really feel like blogging. However, I have been neglecting this blog for a long time, and if I don't push myself, the situation will perhaps deteriorate entirely.
So I will give this my full attention until: a) The dryer goes off or b) my daughter wakes up from her nap, whichever comes first.
----------
My body has been doing some weird stuff lately. Since my thyroid diagnosis, I have been taking medication that has a side effect of speeding up my metabolism. This is super awesome. After spending a whole lifetime as the woman who eats a burger and gains five pounds, I find it extremely gratifying to be able to eat what I want without gaining weight.
But. Is that really a blessing? In the past I have had to be very careful about diet and exercise. There are times when that is stifling and annoying, but overall I think it has led me to good health habits and positive self-image, despite having to pass on cake or bacon from time to time.
So, I am still trying to watch what I eat. Perhaps not the portions as closely as I used to, but at least what goes in. Because you can look great and be totally unhealthy.
In other news, one of my lifelong goals has been to be able to confidently wear a bikini. I do not know why this is a goal, because I don't think I would actually wear a bikini even if I had a killer bikini body. I am one of the most modest people ever (like refuse-to-breastfeed-in-public modest), so I believe in being fully clothed. But, I would really like to try on a bikini at the store and look fantastic in it, then put it back on the shelf and go home (or maybe buy it and wear it just for Matt).
Anyway, I do not even know if this goal is achievable. Let's face it, motherhood does not do wonders for your abs... and there's only so much exercise can do to undo the fact that you carried a human being in your gut for nine months. But, I am going to try.
SO anyway, I have set up a cardio and weight lifting regimen for the next three months and hope to be toned up by the end of them. If not bikini-ready, then at least in better shape, right?!
Aaaaaaaand there goes the dryer! :)
So I will give this my full attention until: a) The dryer goes off or b) my daughter wakes up from her nap, whichever comes first.
----------
My body has been doing some weird stuff lately. Since my thyroid diagnosis, I have been taking medication that has a side effect of speeding up my metabolism. This is super awesome. After spending a whole lifetime as the woman who eats a burger and gains five pounds, I find it extremely gratifying to be able to eat what I want without gaining weight.
But. Is that really a blessing? In the past I have had to be very careful about diet and exercise. There are times when that is stifling and annoying, but overall I think it has led me to good health habits and positive self-image, despite having to pass on cake or bacon from time to time.
So, I am still trying to watch what I eat. Perhaps not the portions as closely as I used to, but at least what goes in. Because you can look great and be totally unhealthy.
In other news, one of my lifelong goals has been to be able to confidently wear a bikini. I do not know why this is a goal, because I don't think I would actually wear a bikini even if I had a killer bikini body. I am one of the most modest people ever (like refuse-to-breastfeed-in-public modest), so I believe in being fully clothed. But, I would really like to try on a bikini at the store and look fantastic in it, then put it back on the shelf and go home (or maybe buy it and wear it just for Matt).
Anyway, I do not even know if this goal is achievable. Let's face it, motherhood does not do wonders for your abs... and there's only so much exercise can do to undo the fact that you carried a human being in your gut for nine months. But, I am going to try.
SO anyway, I have set up a cardio and weight lifting regimen for the next three months and hope to be toned up by the end of them. If not bikini-ready, then at least in better shape, right?!
Aaaaaaaand there goes the dryer! :)
Monday, February 14, 2011
Westport
So the last two weeks our family has attended Westport church (a nice reprieve from the Pacific Northwest Drum Tour that has been our life for the past few months). I think for the time being Kisa and I are going to be setting up home base there, while Matt continues to play around town as there is need. I think this is a great opportunity for him and love that he is able to be a blessing to lots of different church bodies. But it has been difficult for Kisa and I- it is tough for her to be thrown into a different nursery each week and tough for me to feel like I don't have "roots" anywhere.
Anyway, Kisa and I will be at Westport, for a while anyway. Matt will join us on weeks he is not leading elsewhere, and we will probably join him when he plays at Imago Dei. I don't know how long we will be there or if our whole family will end up there or at Imago, but we shall see, and I'm okay with that for now. I plan on getting plugged in to the community there but keeping my mind open if God calls us to move.
This last week/weekend was especially powerful for me as I felt like I had a good opportunity to get to know the character of the leadership at Westport and the fellow believers there. Last week, one of their members (someone very well connected with the church and different ministries there) was arrested as a result of some nasty sin that had run rampant in his life. I won't go into the details of all that here, because it's not really my story to share. However I was really impressed by the response I saw in the church.
I feel like this man's situation was handled with maturity and grace, with members of the church who had every right to be angry and disgusted instead reaching out and offering support.
Then I was blown away by the sermon on Sunday which was a humbling reminder of who I am without Christ. The jist of the message was this: we can see the effects of unchecked sin in another's life and it is appalling... we may think that we would never stoop to such lows in our own life, and be disgusted and condemn others. But instead, I was reminded that I am not so different from this poor man. I could be in his shoes, easily, without the grace of God. I don't think I'm above any of the sins that are out there. I don't think I'm above cheating on my husband or becoming and alcoholic or abusing my child. All it takes is for us to open ourselves up to sin and temptation. Let it take hold, and we are each capable of the same appalling, disgusting lows. Sin is a slippery slope that way, and none of us are above temptation.
After church, I met a handful of people including the new pastor (who I love- he is one of the most positive and upbeat people I have ever met), childcare workers, and one of the elders, who I had a great conversation with.
Anyway, I have felt very welcomed into this new body and am looking forward to meeting new friends and serving there. Kisa has been struggling with the nursery situation, but she joined us in service last week and was exceptionally well-behaved there (after ramming her head repeatedly into the wall in the childcare). I think we broke her spirit. Hopefully she will adapt now that things will be more stable for her... I'm hoping she makes a connection with one of the childcare providers or kiddos and that will be our ticket to getting well-adjusted with all the new faces.
Anyway, Kisa and I will be at Westport, for a while anyway. Matt will join us on weeks he is not leading elsewhere, and we will probably join him when he plays at Imago Dei. I don't know how long we will be there or if our whole family will end up there or at Imago, but we shall see, and I'm okay with that for now. I plan on getting plugged in to the community there but keeping my mind open if God calls us to move.
This last week/weekend was especially powerful for me as I felt like I had a good opportunity to get to know the character of the leadership at Westport and the fellow believers there. Last week, one of their members (someone very well connected with the church and different ministries there) was arrested as a result of some nasty sin that had run rampant in his life. I won't go into the details of all that here, because it's not really my story to share. However I was really impressed by the response I saw in the church.
I feel like this man's situation was handled with maturity and grace, with members of the church who had every right to be angry and disgusted instead reaching out and offering support.
Then I was blown away by the sermon on Sunday which was a humbling reminder of who I am without Christ. The jist of the message was this: we can see the effects of unchecked sin in another's life and it is appalling... we may think that we would never stoop to such lows in our own life, and be disgusted and condemn others. But instead, I was reminded that I am not so different from this poor man. I could be in his shoes, easily, without the grace of God. I don't think I'm above any of the sins that are out there. I don't think I'm above cheating on my husband or becoming and alcoholic or abusing my child. All it takes is for us to open ourselves up to sin and temptation. Let it take hold, and we are each capable of the same appalling, disgusting lows. Sin is a slippery slope that way, and none of us are above temptation.
After church, I met a handful of people including the new pastor (who I love- he is one of the most positive and upbeat people I have ever met), childcare workers, and one of the elders, who I had a great conversation with.
Anyway, I have felt very welcomed into this new body and am looking forward to meeting new friends and serving there. Kisa has been struggling with the nursery situation, but she joined us in service last week and was exceptionally well-behaved there (after ramming her head repeatedly into the wall in the childcare). I think we broke her spirit. Hopefully she will adapt now that things will be more stable for her... I'm hoping she makes a connection with one of the childcare providers or kiddos and that will be our ticket to getting well-adjusted with all the new faces.
Tuesday, February 01, 2011
I know Matt is going to jump on me for saying this, but... I kinda wish I could freeze time right now so my daughter can be 18 months old for a long time.
I just love it. I have been enjoying every day with her. That is not to say it is not challenging- she has been cutting her molars and I honestly don't think there is a single book in her possession that has not been partially devoured. One night I went out and she ate a page of her FAVORITE book, Baby Loves, which Nana brought her from the Museum of Modern Art in NYC. I was pretty annoyed by that.
In general though, I am loving life. Kisa is happy, I am happy, and we are very busy with friends and "adventures". I am beginning to realize just how well-behaved Kisa generally is, and I am thankful for that.
There is this nagging thought in the back of my head that this won't last forever. She is going to grow up and stop being thrilled by mac and cheese and hunting for ladybugs. Eventually, she will even stop cuddling with me on the couch or running across the room to give me hugs. That sucks. There are things I am really looking forward to about having an older kid, but I love having a toddler. It is just going by way too fast. I don't know if I will ever have another child and so I feel like I need to soak up all of these moments now.
Anyway, there is stuff about parenting a toddler that is really annoying. I guess I have just tried not to see it that way because I know all of it is fleeting and I will miss it when it is over. Well, most of it. I don't think I will ever miss using our playpen as a hallway blocker. :)
I just love it. I have been enjoying every day with her. That is not to say it is not challenging- she has been cutting her molars and I honestly don't think there is a single book in her possession that has not been partially devoured. One night I went out and she ate a page of her FAVORITE book, Baby Loves, which Nana brought her from the Museum of Modern Art in NYC. I was pretty annoyed by that.
In general though, I am loving life. Kisa is happy, I am happy, and we are very busy with friends and "adventures". I am beginning to realize just how well-behaved Kisa generally is, and I am thankful for that.
There is this nagging thought in the back of my head that this won't last forever. She is going to grow up and stop being thrilled by mac and cheese and hunting for ladybugs. Eventually, she will even stop cuddling with me on the couch or running across the room to give me hugs. That sucks. There are things I am really looking forward to about having an older kid, but I love having a toddler. It is just going by way too fast. I don't know if I will ever have another child and so I feel like I need to soak up all of these moments now.
Anyway, there is stuff about parenting a toddler that is really annoying. I guess I have just tried not to see it that way because I know all of it is fleeting and I will miss it when it is over. Well, most of it. I don't think I will ever miss using our playpen as a hallway blocker. :)
Saturday, January 22, 2011
I am turning into Matt, I think
I played my first "horror" video game with Matt today. Even though I pretty much hate horror movies, I can kind of understand the appeal of a spooky game... and playing it myself is MUCH different from watching Matt play.
Isn't it amazing that we live in an age where we have the artistic creativity and technological advances necessary to create video games? I know that most of my readers are not gamers, but have you ever stopped to think about this? Today I played a game where I was running around a broken down space station full of terrifying alien predators... and my heart was pumping as if there might actually be a creature behind me, chasing me. Isn't that really pretty incredible? We are able to experience all kinds of things through video games that we would never be able to do in real life.
I know some of you will say that it's no different from reading a book or watching a movie, but it totally is. There is a level of personal involvement and interaction in a video game that you can't find in a book.
I have always been appreciative of games... I love the artistic/storytelling aspect of gaming, as well as the competition. It makes me sad that a lot of people miss out on what I think is a really cool art form.
Isn't it amazing that we live in an age where we have the artistic creativity and technological advances necessary to create video games? I know that most of my readers are not gamers, but have you ever stopped to think about this? Today I played a game where I was running around a broken down space station full of terrifying alien predators... and my heart was pumping as if there might actually be a creature behind me, chasing me. Isn't that really pretty incredible? We are able to experience all kinds of things through video games that we would never be able to do in real life.
I know some of you will say that it's no different from reading a book or watching a movie, but it totally is. There is a level of personal involvement and interaction in a video game that you can't find in a book.
I have always been appreciative of games... I love the artistic/storytelling aspect of gaming, as well as the competition. It makes me sad that a lot of people miss out on what I think is a really cool art form.
Monday, January 17, 2011
I think I am going to start a new blog. I have been pondering this idea for a while and I'm just going to do it.
The purpose of this blog will be to share tips about home organization and cleanliness. I do not claim to be a perfect housekeeper or to be an expert on this topic, but it does happen to be a passion (sickness?) of mine. So, I am going to start a free blog about it and you are welcome to follow said blog and invite your friends to follow it too (assuming, of course, that my tips are helpful).
I will share the link when I've gotten it ready and published my first post.
The purpose of this blog will be to share tips about home organization and cleanliness. I do not claim to be a perfect housekeeper or to be an expert on this topic, but it does happen to be a passion (sickness?) of mine. So, I am going to start a free blog about it and you are welcome to follow said blog and invite your friends to follow it too (assuming, of course, that my tips are helpful).
I will share the link when I've gotten it ready and published my first post.
Saturday, January 08, 2011
How to win friends and influence people
First of all, let me say thank you to whatever readers have clung through the last several months of this blog. I know it has been drier than the Mojave around here, and unfortunately, like a great many things, that is due to how sick I have been. It is hard to keep up with el blog when my brain feels like it is in a constant fog (yes, the rhyme was intentional). Luckily for all of us, I have finally perked up a bit and regained the ability to form a whole sentence. Which means I hope to be blogging a bit more frequently and coherently in the future.
The past few months have been full of a lot of change for our family, but we are getting rooted in this new stage of life. Recently I have been reminded to seize the opportunity to invest in my husband, daughter, and other new relationships that are beginning to bloom.
Since having Kisa and quitting work, I have watched my social circle shrink dramatically. I no longer connect very often with old friends from school or work and the time I spend with my family takes up such a large portion of my days that it has been easy to call that enough. However, since leaving Ethnos, I have realized that the social network I have had may also begin to deteriorate as friends move on to new ministries with their families.
In short, it's time to get out there and make some friends!
Making new friends has always been a bit of a struggle for me. I, like most people I know, have my share of insecurities. Add to that a sprinkle of shyness and my overwhelming tendency to shove my foot in my mouth (thanks Dad- I'm convinced it's genetic), and you have a great recipe for social anxiety. When I was younger I really let this control my interactions with those around me. As I have grown, I am beginning to realize that I am not the only one who feels this way. I'm not the only person who wonders if the people they like really like them back. I'm not the only person who is too shy to ask a new friend out for coffee or a playdate. I'm not even the only person who walks away from conversations kicking themselves over saying something totally and completely idiotic.
At one of the churches Matt and I have visited recently, we had the privilege of experiencing an appointment of new deacons for the church. They had men and women who were being acknowledged in leadership positions come forward and share why they were being called to that position. One of these people in particular shared something that really touched my heart, and I have been pondering it ever since. This man was being appointed as the deacon of "hospitality", but he described himself as a very guarded, shy introvert. I thought that was strange, but he went on to explain that throughout his life he had always felt like he was on the "fringe" and didn't quite know how to fit in or make friends. As he and his wife began attending church, he got plugged into their community and realized that his shyness had been a gift. He understands more that anyone else what it feels like to be sitting alone in a pew wondering how to reach out to others. He wasn't intimidated by people who were quiet or withdrawn. In fact, he knew how to speak to them and include them without belittling who they were in Christ or forcing them to be the extroverts they were not.
I walked away from that service thinking that this was a cool story, a unique story, and it could easily be my story if I could muster the courage to obey God's call to community in a way I hadn't before.
So, I have started to put myself out there. I have tried not to worry about what people are thinking of me. I have invited, welcomed, complimented and encouraged people where I otherwise wouldn't for fear they would see me as desperate, clingy, or fake. It sounds idiotic when I write it, but it has been a fear of mine that by pursuing friendships with others, I would seem needy.
The biggest hurdle has been to try to relieve myself of guilt for the stupid things I sometimes say. I am an intelligent woman, but my tongue usually has a head start on my brain, and, like I said earlier, I spend a lot of time with my foot in my mouth. That used to deter me from forming close relationships with people. But what I have learned lately is that people are far more gracious than I have given them credit for. If I have the humility to apologize and laugh at myself from time to time, my friends have been kind and forgiving when what I've said has been hurtful or offensive. Thank God for that, because taming my tongue will be a lifelong struggle. I heard a preacher once say that a witty tongue is not a gift but a curse, and I could not agree more.
Anyway, my goal as always is to be real and open with everyone I meet. Hopefully I can be as free with my encouragement as I am with my cynicism, and pick myself up when I stumble.
Thanks for reading!
(Oh, and for those of you who are wondering, no, I'm not reading the book.)
The past few months have been full of a lot of change for our family, but we are getting rooted in this new stage of life. Recently I have been reminded to seize the opportunity to invest in my husband, daughter, and other new relationships that are beginning to bloom.
Since having Kisa and quitting work, I have watched my social circle shrink dramatically. I no longer connect very often with old friends from school or work and the time I spend with my family takes up such a large portion of my days that it has been easy to call that enough. However, since leaving Ethnos, I have realized that the social network I have had may also begin to deteriorate as friends move on to new ministries with their families.
In short, it's time to get out there and make some friends!
Making new friends has always been a bit of a struggle for me. I, like most people I know, have my share of insecurities. Add to that a sprinkle of shyness and my overwhelming tendency to shove my foot in my mouth (thanks Dad- I'm convinced it's genetic), and you have a great recipe for social anxiety. When I was younger I really let this control my interactions with those around me. As I have grown, I am beginning to realize that I am not the only one who feels this way. I'm not the only person who wonders if the people they like really like them back. I'm not the only person who is too shy to ask a new friend out for coffee or a playdate. I'm not even the only person who walks away from conversations kicking themselves over saying something totally and completely idiotic.
At one of the churches Matt and I have visited recently, we had the privilege of experiencing an appointment of new deacons for the church. They had men and women who were being acknowledged in leadership positions come forward and share why they were being called to that position. One of these people in particular shared something that really touched my heart, and I have been pondering it ever since. This man was being appointed as the deacon of "hospitality", but he described himself as a very guarded, shy introvert. I thought that was strange, but he went on to explain that throughout his life he had always felt like he was on the "fringe" and didn't quite know how to fit in or make friends. As he and his wife began attending church, he got plugged into their community and realized that his shyness had been a gift. He understands more that anyone else what it feels like to be sitting alone in a pew wondering how to reach out to others. He wasn't intimidated by people who were quiet or withdrawn. In fact, he knew how to speak to them and include them without belittling who they were in Christ or forcing them to be the extroverts they were not.
I walked away from that service thinking that this was a cool story, a unique story, and it could easily be my story if I could muster the courage to obey God's call to community in a way I hadn't before.
So, I have started to put myself out there. I have tried not to worry about what people are thinking of me. I have invited, welcomed, complimented and encouraged people where I otherwise wouldn't for fear they would see me as desperate, clingy, or fake. It sounds idiotic when I write it, but it has been a fear of mine that by pursuing friendships with others, I would seem needy.
The biggest hurdle has been to try to relieve myself of guilt for the stupid things I sometimes say. I am an intelligent woman, but my tongue usually has a head start on my brain, and, like I said earlier, I spend a lot of time with my foot in my mouth. That used to deter me from forming close relationships with people. But what I have learned lately is that people are far more gracious than I have given them credit for. If I have the humility to apologize and laugh at myself from time to time, my friends have been kind and forgiving when what I've said has been hurtful or offensive. Thank God for that, because taming my tongue will be a lifelong struggle. I heard a preacher once say that a witty tongue is not a gift but a curse, and I could not agree more.
Anyway, my goal as always is to be real and open with everyone I meet. Hopefully I can be as free with my encouragement as I am with my cynicism, and pick myself up when I stumble.
Thanks for reading!
(Oh, and for those of you who are wondering, no, I'm not reading the book.)
Tuesday, January 04, 2011
17 months!
On Saturday Kisa will be 17 months old.
Last night Matt and I let her watch some home videos (of herself) that we had put on youtube, and I was amazed that I seriously have almost no recollection of baby Kisa. It might be the fatigue, or just selective memory, but my daughter is a toddler in basically all my memories of her. It was weird to see her drinking from a bottle and cooing and blinking in her Grandpa's lap.
I think that seeing my child every day makes me oblivious to the fact that she is actually growing and moving forward, so instead I just project backwards and think she must have always been this smart and done this many things. Although, come to think of it, I do remember that in November she knew how to make one animal sound (sometimes- a monkey), and now she has mastered the following: cat, dog, snake, horse, elephant, duck, bear, tiger, sheep, ladybug, dragon, dinosaur (you know- all the important ones).
My favorite part of this phase is watching her sense of humor develop. She has learned to nod her head "yes" and shake her head "no". She also likes to use the actual word no, which comes out more like "mmmm... nah", like she has to think about it (for example: "Kisa, do you have a dirty diaper?" "Mmmmmm... nah." I guarantee you she does.)
Anyway, she likes to answer yes or no questions, which she does very emphatically, although her answers are rarely true. She also doesn't really use the word "mama", but if I ask her if she can say "mama", she will either a) nod her head and smile (but not say it) or b) laugh and say "dada" instead. Little stinker.
I think I am going to start keeping a log of new things I see her picking up, that way I can get a better idea of her progress. Since Christmas, she has:
- Learned how to build towers with her MegaBlocks (her new favorite activity of all time)
- Learned "Ta-DA!" (with arm movements of course)
- Begun crawling up on objects and using some objects as bridges to other objects (ex. kitchen chair to kitchen table, toilet to counter, etc)... makes me CRAZY
- Learned how to pick out a DVD from the shelf, pop it out of the box, turn on the xbox and tv, insert the disc and start playing it... this one also makes me crazy
- Also, recently, but I'm not sure when, she has started waving for "hi" and not just "bye". When she comes into bed with us at night, she has to say hi/wave to Matt before she lays down and goes back to sleep... it's very cute.
I think that is all for now, but I'm sure I will come up with more later, or she'll learn something new tomorrow.
Last night Matt and I let her watch some home videos (of herself) that we had put on youtube, and I was amazed that I seriously have almost no recollection of baby Kisa. It might be the fatigue, or just selective memory, but my daughter is a toddler in basically all my memories of her. It was weird to see her drinking from a bottle and cooing and blinking in her Grandpa's lap.
I think that seeing my child every day makes me oblivious to the fact that she is actually growing and moving forward, so instead I just project backwards and think she must have always been this smart and done this many things. Although, come to think of it, I do remember that in November she knew how to make one animal sound (sometimes- a monkey), and now she has mastered the following: cat, dog, snake, horse, elephant, duck, bear, tiger, sheep, ladybug, dragon, dinosaur (you know- all the important ones).
My favorite part of this phase is watching her sense of humor develop. She has learned to nod her head "yes" and shake her head "no". She also likes to use the actual word no, which comes out more like "mmmm... nah", like she has to think about it (for example: "Kisa, do you have a dirty diaper?" "Mmmmmm... nah." I guarantee you she does.)
Anyway, she likes to answer yes or no questions, which she does very emphatically, although her answers are rarely true. She also doesn't really use the word "mama", but if I ask her if she can say "mama", she will either a) nod her head and smile (but not say it) or b) laugh and say "dada" instead. Little stinker.
I think I am going to start keeping a log of new things I see her picking up, that way I can get a better idea of her progress. Since Christmas, she has:
- Learned how to build towers with her MegaBlocks (her new favorite activity of all time)
- Learned "Ta-DA!" (with arm movements of course)
- Begun crawling up on objects and using some objects as bridges to other objects (ex. kitchen chair to kitchen table, toilet to counter, etc)... makes me CRAZY
- Learned how to pick out a DVD from the shelf, pop it out of the box, turn on the xbox and tv, insert the disc and start playing it... this one also makes me crazy
- Also, recently, but I'm not sure when, she has started waving for "hi" and not just "bye". When she comes into bed with us at night, she has to say hi/wave to Matt before she lays down and goes back to sleep... it's very cute.
I think that is all for now, but I'm sure I will come up with more later, or she'll learn something new tomorrow.
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