work and birthing class

I just woke myself up and can't get back to sleep sooooooooo blogging it is.

I have been thinking about what to do about work and I am having a hard time coming to a decision. My doctor ok'ed me to go back to work on Monday (7/13), but my boss basically refused to schedule me hours the last time I talked to her. I think that despite all of my warnings to her, she was not prepared for me to leave work more than a week early... so when I went out on bed rest I think she got overwhelmed. Now she doesn't really trust me to be able to come back to work, even though my doctor is saying I can.

On the one hand... I don't blame her, because the reality is that if I came back I could have to leave again pretty much any day. I understand that is a difficult position to put her in. Still, it doesn't really seem fair, because she would literally be in the exact same position had this whole bed rest thing never happened. If I had worked the past week with no problems there would STILL be a chance (probably about the same likelihood) that I go into labor sometime between the middle of July and the 10th of August (which is when my maternity leave is scheduled to start). So that is pretty frustrating.

Ideally, I would love to just NOT go back to work and go into labor next week or the week after. But I'm afraid that won't happen and that I'll be out of work (and unpaid) for two or three or four weeks. So I might try to get my coworkers to toss me a couple of shifts a week just so I am getting some sort of pay.

But then there are other things to consider... like how Matt feels about me being at work. I think he would rather me stay home until I'm past 37 weeks. And then he would rather me not work 8 hour shifts. But I don't know... if I'm scrounging for hours I can't really afford to be picky.

And also, even though, like I said, I completely understand the tough position my boss is in right now, part of me wonders if there is some law protecting my right to work. Because if my doctor says it's okay, then they can't just not schedule me because I'm 8+ months pregnant. At least... it feels like they shouldn't be able to do that. But again... who knows, and how much is it worth to me to press the issue?

Anyway. To be honest, work is really the last thing I want to be worrying about right now, but I can't get it off my mind... and I feel like this bed rest threw a big wrench in my plans and all of the options I had before aren't open to me anymore. So that is frustrating. I am praying about what to do and I have been talking to Matt about it, but I kind of feel like the whole thing is out of my hands and I may just have to roll with the punches.

On a completely different note:

Tonight Matt and I went to birthing class (the only dr-approved exception to my bed rest... so you can imagine how thrilled I was to leave the house). We learned about delivery. I wouldn't call it fun exactly, but it was good to get all the information, even though most of it I have read or heard other places. Lately I have been watching episodes of A Baby Story (which, for those of you who don't know, is basically a reality show that follows different moms through the birth process... something I would usually NEVER watch or be interested in, but the past month or so my interest has been piqued and I have probably watched about 10 or so deliveries, all thanks to cable :) ). Matt makes fun of me because every time (EVERY time) the babies are delivered and are handed to their moms for the first time, I cry.

Well, tonight in class we watched a couple moms give birth, and right as the babies came out Matt leaned over and started teasing me about crying in public (because of course I was). So I looked around the room and literally EVERY SINGLE WOMAN was wiping their eyes. Even Matt had a sappy little grin on his face. There is something pretty cool about watching a baby come into the world... especially when you are anticipating that moment in your own family. It's beautiful.

And then they delivered the placenta. And I almost threw up.