I feel like this latest season of life has been a lot of trading one trial for another. I suppose that is a really pessimistic way of looking at things, but as I logged in to type this blog I was looking at the one below it. Less than a week ago I was so relieved to have finally cleared the hurdle of our latest sleep troubles, and here we are again smack dab in the middle of another Predicament. This is the detailed account of Matt's knee injury and what's going on with him. Not going to recount it because most of you know and if not, and you are reading this, then you are fully capable of clicking the link and seeing for yourself.

Anyway, I am someone who does well (generally speaking) under pressure. I can buckle down and get my nose to the grindstone and get things done. I'm not going to make any promises about being wonderful to be around while I'm workhorsing it up, but I do have a high capacity.

The thing about pressure is, it is usually short-lived, which is what makes that high capacity possible. I feel like most people could do pretty much anything for a finite time period. With this recent injury we are still unsure how long Matt will be bed/couch -ridden, but the general diagnosis has been 6+ weeks. That number just sounds so exhausting and the uncertainty of the + in there (we heard today it could be more like 8-10) is difficult to stomach. What IF it is more like 10 weeks? What if it's longer? We still don't know the full extent of what's wrong with him, so there is that question looming.

I have been vacillating the last couple of days between feeling super overwhelmed and then feeling borderline ridiculous for being such a mess. Because if you look at the facts, it just seems really weak for me to lose it over a couple of months of an alternate schedule. After all, there are single moms who do this PLUS work a job all the time, and I'm sure they don't have people offering to watch their kids or bring them meals constantly. Our family and friends have already been extremely helpful, and I'm sure they will continue to be so.

I think a lot of it is just emotional fallout from an intense weekend (Matt's injury, ethnos announcment, etc) and me trying to cope with that in the midst of everyday life sans husband/assistant. I am really feeling pretty anxious about the possibility (more like probability) that he will be having surgery, for a whole host of reasons I don't want to go into. Suffice it to say that although I want him to heal as quickly as possible, I would really love it if general anesthesia wasn't necessary.

On a happier note, Kisa has been a trooper yesterday and today. I wasn't able to be with her for most of the days both these days, and she was great for the grandparents and took naps well, as well as settling down much easier at bedtime the last two nights after readjusting to her home sleeptime schedule. Our new routine involves elmo before naps and bedtime, and that seems to do the trick for her. She watches until she is tired (usually 15-30 min), and then she can indicate when she wants to go to sleep. I am sure this won't work forever, but I am pretty happy to have discovered it for the time being- it gives me a chance to pick up the house and for her to wind down a little so that there is more of a transition from playtime to sleep time. I'm guessing when she gets a little older we can replace this with storytime (hasn't worked thus far), which is something I'm looking forward to as a parent.

It just struck me as I read over this post that Kisa is due for a check-up in the next couple of weeks. Sigh... adding that to my task list.