I am feeling really blessed right now that my husband isn't going into surgery tonight. I was so anxious about that likelihood that I haven't been able to think straight for the last several days, and literally after our appointment yesterday I felt like a physical burden had been lifted off my body. Then every time I get too excited I have to remember that Matt is still facing a long and difficult road to recovery.

Matt's mom has terrible arthritis in her knees, which started in her early forties. I always knew there was a potential for Matt to get arthritis too, since it has a strong genetic link. Our doctor basically assured us of that yesterday, making a comment to the effect of "a total knee replacement will be in the cards for you, but don't worry about that because that's years from now".

I don't know, I can't hear something like that and not worry. Especially since it just doesn't seem like as far away as the doctor seems to think. Even when Matt is 50 I will still only be 46, which is just way too young to have limited mobility or be looking at a knee replacement. That's less than 25 years from now.

I suppose that is just my nature, to worry about things 20+ years down the road, but this injury has definitely been a wake up call in terms of thinking long-term about taking care of ourselves. I know my family has a high risk for diabetes, so I try to eat well and control my weight (except for the occasional giant marshmallow). I think maybe we will have to be diligent about caring for Matt's joints (especially knees) in the same way going forward.

Anyway, I put Kisa in her crib hoping she would go back to sleep and no such luck. I can hear her playing in there. Time to actually be a parent...