Joys of Parenting

Whew. Today was my worst day of parenting in... well, forever. Or at least in the last 6 months. I can't rightly say because I don't really remember my first couple of months as a parent.

It all started a couple of days ago when we decided to try a "cry it out" method to hopefully help Kisa sleep better. She has never been a great sleeper, but she has been worse lately and by about 3 am every night (without fail) she ends up in our bed. It is around that time of night/early morning that I lose my resolve (and the concentration required to make good parenting choices). Thus the co-sleeping, which is not something that works.

It's not like she cries all night until 3 or anything like that. Actually, she sleeps well but usually wakes up once or twice. It just so happens that the one time she wakes up is in the middle of my deepest sleep cycle, and I cannot rouse myself to rock her back to sleep (or whatever it is she requires). I now think that this sudden bout of fussiness has to do with another possible tooth coming in, but we did not know this when we embarked on the following Ill-Fated Plan.

We have tried cry-it-out (henceforth referred to as CIO for all you non-parents) before but it has not been successful. I have blamed the majority of this on us for not being able to be consistent with it, but I think as a parent you can get a gut sense for when something isn't working for your kid, and maybe that is why we've had such a hard time sticking with it. That, and it is excruciating to listen to a baby scream for an hour. Or more.

So, we decided we would try this in the hopes that it would yield the promised results (your baby can sleep all night, they go to bed in their crib alone, they will be much happier and everyone will sleep better). NO SUCH LUCK. On Monday night, Kisa screamed for 90+ minutes before we gave in. And I mean SCREAMED. She screamed herself hoarse, she screamed until she threw up. She threw herself around in her crib. It was terrible.

On Tuesday night we went out for our anniversary and my parents watched her. They did not do CIO with her- smart move on their part.

Last night, Kisa cried for FOUR HOURS at bed time. I did not even know this was possible for a person to do-- and yes, this was with us going in to comfort her every 10 minutes. She would occasionally fall asleep for a minute or two only to wake up screaming her head off and starting the whole thing over again. We finally gave in around midnight when we simply couldn't take it anymore and didn't see an end in sight.

I decided that perhaps I would have more luck during the day. Kisa has been a notoriously great napper, and I rarely (if ever) have trouble putting her down for naps. She sleeps 3 hours a day, no problem.

Well. This morning I put her into her crib at 9 for her morning crib time/nap. She usually sleeps for 90 minutes in the morning. She screamed the whole time. I kept hoping she would settle down and sleep, but no. Let me tell you, I was sure thankful she had missed her morning nap when I later had to take her to the grocery store. I have never had such a terrible time running a simple errand. She fussed the whole time, tried to bang her head into the side of the shopping cart (her new tactic for getting out of situations that she does not like- she is too smart for her own good. Although I suppose she won't be for long if she continues with that behavior).

Oh well, afternoon nap should be much easier, right? WRONG. She screamed for another hour until I just gave up on naps altogether. I was so exhausted that I just let her sit in her swing watching Elmo until Matt came home.

I have never seen or experienced anything like what happened with Kisa today. She is usually so mellow, but this whole thing just proved to me that one-size-fits-all parenting straight up does NOT work. I truly believe that many, or most, other parents have had success with CIO, but I can now say with 100% certainty that it will not work for Kisa no matter how long we try. That kid is stubborn as a mule.

Matt is at band practice tonight, and I communicated to him that I was giving up on the Plan and sticking with what has been (mostly) working instead. I think Kisa will sleep through the night on her own eventually, but I think we will have a longer road to that milestone with this particular girl. I am okay with that. First and foremost I want to do what is best for my daughter, and sticking with a crazy sleeping plan that involves 8+ hours of crying in a day is NOT it. I will rock her 4 hours a day if I have to instead.

Anyway, guess what? Just put my daughter to bed and after rocking her for ONE MINUTE she is out cold. I will admit a small portion of that has to do with her being completely exhausted from her earlier shenanigans, but still. ONE MINUTE vs FOURS HOURS of crying (and still no sleep). Guess what wins?

You gotta love parenting. I'm glad today is over... hopefully tomorrow will be fantastic.