You know what I really hate? Unsolicited advice. And boy, you sure do get a lot of it as a parent. It seems like from the second that baby bump starts to show there are people crawling out of the woodwork telling you how to do this or that. I can only hope that this gets better with the second child (if we have one). I would think that at some point people must assume you at least somewhat know what you are doing.

Recently, Matt and I were at Target when we heard a kid a few aisles away having a total meltdown. The mother, clearly at the end of her rope, was hissing (as discreetly as possible but through gritted teeth) something along the lines of, "Stop it. RIGHT NOW. Or you will get a spanking."

Then, from across the aisle, another woman, without children, has the GALL to shout (loud enough for everyone to hear and with a full measure of sarcasm): "Yeah! Intimidation. That'll make the kid stop crying."

I cocked my head and turned to look at her, slack-jawed, then looked back at Matt and said (not quietly, since we're obviously past basic politeness at this point) "Umm, did that really just happen? Who the hell does she think she is?"

Apparently, Target is the place for parenting confrontations too, since a friend of mine told me that on a recent trip there a woman got up in her face with "It's called a child leash-- get one" in reference to her adorable (albeit spirited) 18-month-old daughter.

Now, I understand that when it comes to parenting, we all have our opinions, and they are strong ones. And I do my fair share of actually soliciting advice, because I KNOW there are moms and dads out there who have been where I am and have some good answers to my questions. However, the lady in the grocery store who disapproves a little too loudly of my daughter's pacifier or the acquaintance who raises their eyebrow when you mention co-sleeping... these I could do without.

As I get older and accumulate more life experience, I am finding myself biting my tongue (or kicking myself afterward... if the tongue-biting didn't work) often, catching myself dumping some unsolicited advice on others. Usually, the others are my siblings, or really anyone who roams into my sphere of influence and seems not to have encountered the same obstacles in life that I have. I'm trying to remember, every time I catch myself doing this, how much it makes my blood boil when someone does it to me.

(If you're wondering why I'm blogging at midnight, it's because I can't sleep... which I blame on an overabundance of sleep the past few days, a problem I haven't had in God knows how long, but am unceasingly grateful for right now.)

EDIT: Something I meant to add when I published this post, but forgot, is this: I am also working on explaining myself and my actions to others. And by that I mean not doing it. When someone questions my parenting choices, I feel the need to defend or explain. Why? I am confident in the choices I have made for my family, and no one really needs to understand them but me, Matt, and (hopefully, but not necessarily) Kisa. So when someone criticizes something that I do differently, I am trying to fight back the urge to explain myself, because 1) it perpetuates the cycle of forcing opinions on others and 2) it communicates that I am unsure or that I appreciate the intrusion, which I do not!

Almost every day of my life I feel like I add something to my list of "what not to do to others". As time goes by I am learning how to be a better wife, mom, sister, daughter, friend, and (someday) aunt, grandma, and mother-in-law. Hopes I remember this stuff when I get there!