"Processing things in community" isn't all it's cracked up to be. It depends on people either all being on the same page or being understanding of someone who isn't. And of course these is pressure to "be real" with people but for what purpose? So others can judge the validity of your feelings or so that you can hear them repeated to people you would not have chosen to tell them to?
Where there is even the slightest opportunity for judgement or gossip, people will take it.
All of this to say, I really don't feel like sharing anything with anyone right now. I'm pretty much done.
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4 comments:
I can't say I agree with you, but I do understand how you feel. I have been there as well, and I think that authentic community takes a lot of hard work. Sometimes some of us get 'beat up' over it, but if we don't communicate, how will we get anywhere? I'm really sorry that you have been stung by doing exactly what you were encouraged to do. I hope that you will learn from this experience. By that I mean that I hope that you will see what you did right and be assured, and that you will also see where (if it exists) you could have done differently for a better result.
Developing authentic community often means that people have to 'grow up' together. Unfortunately, that can mean that others need to develop a better ability to respond well to you "being real". And sometimes it means that you have to undergo the difficult exercise of recalibrating your approach to "speaking the truth in love".
I hope you're not truely done sharing your life with us. We love you. And I like the new blog look too.
I'm sad to say I understand why you are feeling this. I’m sorry you feel pressure to be in a place that you are not at yet. I know I'm fine because it didn't affect me as personally as it did others. I feel that we should allow people to feel whatever as long as they are not sinning. I would like it if everyone felt like grace was extended to them, not just those who are repenting sin. I want everyone to feel loved and like they can do whatever they need to to heal with the help and support of the church body. I am afraid that now that we are out of the initial shock as a church that divisions may arise on how we will go forward together. My prayer is that we will find a way to go forward together showing love and grace to everyone. I don’t know if this makes sense since I am on painkillers.
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