pride and sensitivity

today someone hurt my feelings. i cried, but i didn't want to tell them they hurt my feelings because i thought they'd probably just think i was stupid. i've learned that the more you love people the easier it is for them to hurt you. sometimes i am scared to tell people just how much i love them because i'm worried they won't love me the same. when i am upset, i try to pretend like it doesn't matter to me so they won't know how much i care about them.
i think, maybe, one of my biggest fears is feeling stupid. i hate humiliation. i hate to be humbled. i like to lie and protect my pride. i think, maybe, this has made me kind of a crappy friend.
so today i told my friend they hurt my feelings and i told them that i loved them a lot, and i apologized for my share of our conversation (because maybe i hurt their feelings, too... i don't know). i think to them it wasn't a very big deal so i felt really, really stupid. but i am proud of myself for saying exactly how i felt.
(this might sound stupid but) on the topic of sensitivity, pastor justin is a really sensitive guy. but i really admire justin for speaking up when he is hurt, instead of bottling it up. whenever he is angry with me, or whatever, he always comes to me and says exactly what he thinks. i always know where i stand with justin, and i like that about him. i don't feel like he secretly harbors bitterness or like i could go away having hurt him without knowing it. he always gives me the chance to correct myself and apologize. i think it takes a lot of courage to lay everything out like that.
i'm a coward, and none of this comes easily to me, but i would like to communicate better with people. i would like to be less proud and not be so worried about protecting myself that i lose my loved ones because of it.
i feel stupid but i am proud of me for my honesty. only this time (i think) it is a good kind of pride.

P.S. On a lighter note, this is my favorite person in the whole world: