where my heart is this valentine's day

Matty-matt,
I hope everything is going well in your world. The weather here is freaking fantastic and it makes me miss everybody. Exploring the city is fun on my own but I do wish you all (you, Kess, Brianna, Kristin, etc) were here to share it with me sometimes. The other day I spent almost the entire day sketching the park blocks and it was amazing... I finally feel at
home here. Not just in the apartment, but the city as a whole. It feels like my neighborhood now. Such a good feeling, and I've been waiting for it for so long
Hope your ski trip was fun. Don't know if you've caught much of the Olympics so far but I've been glued to the ski racing... ahhh so good! I love it! Bode has so far not risen to expectations but I call him on the combined... maybe slalom if he's lucky...
Anyway, things are going really well. I am doing great in my classes and getting along perfectly with my roommate. She is starting to make some more friends at work and I am making friends through school and stuff, so we've both been pretty social, but when she is gone during the day it is good to be alone for so long. It is the perfect balance. I am getting pretty freaking attached to her... she is an awesome roommate. School is starting to get kind of exciting, I have a better balance of academic classes this term which makes it easier to study and still focus on my art stuff. I am really learning that art takes a lot of practice and observation, and the more I get into it the more attentive I am to general things that are happening around me. I think I see a lot more things than I used to. I don't really know how to explain it, except that slowing down and listening and being silent has taught me a lot about people and art. I see the coolest things everywhere, like architecture and advertisements and clothes and all those kind of things. It gives you an amazing appreciation for the beauty of the world. sometimes I get overwhelmed by how amazing this city is, so much so that I can hardly put it into words... it is a really good feeling, I wish I could describe it better. (I have a hard time explaining myself... I do it so rarely)
On the other side of things, quitting my job (at the KPC) has been such a blessing... not just with having more free time, but being less stressed in general. I miss the girls terribly, but I don't miss having to take time out of my week to travel and prepare. [I edited a big section out here cause it's personal]
...
I mentioned a few times (I think) that a few of my close friends here have been overseas on missions teams the past month. Ashby (don't know if you met her, she is my boss, and basically an amazing human being), Justin (pastor) and a couple from our church (Beth+ Michael) just came back from Kenya on this past Thursday. Luke and Brian also came back from India this week. Brad and Toddy are still overseas (in India) but are coming home on Wednesday (I miss Todd like crazy).
It was soooooo good welcoming them home. First of all, it feels like our family is finally back together. I am so close with my friends here that having them gone felt seriously wrong. With Ashby especially, I wanted to be with her soooooo badly. She
was picking out land for the school, and doing some other GRACEworks related stuff. All of this is where my heart is and it was hard having them doing cool things across the globe, and me feeling stuck here in Portland.
Anyway, we welcomed them back this Sunday, and they showed us pictures from their trip and told us the most amazing stories. Beth and Michael are feeling called to work in Kenya. When they shared their stories, the biggest thing was just the feeling of confirmation they got when they went to visit there. Like, "This is where we should be". They talked about AIDS orphans and showed pictures of the most beautiful children I have ever seen...
I was completely in tears the whole time. It was a little embarrassing actually. It's hard to explain, but it was a really exciting and scary feeling, hearing them talk. Even just hearing the stories and seeing the land and the pictures and the kids, I felt that same feeling. Like, Kenya is where I am going. That is MY future. It was a really strong feeling. I think maybe you will
understand but it is just scary/exciting/I don't know what. It's like being homesick for a place you've never been... that is a good way to describe it. I feel such a strong sense of motivation and purpose for Africa. I want to be able to explain it completely, but at the same time, it is such an intense and private feeling... that I don't know if I even could.
I'm definitely planning on returning with Ashby next time she goes, which will mean I am going to have to save a
LOT, and probably take a term off school.
I know you know me, and have known me for a while, I tend not to get overly passionnate about things, and the way I feel about Africa and about AIDS orphans... the amount of emotional energy I have for it... never EVER ceases to amaze me. It's so weird and intense.
Anyway, I am rambling. I just wanted to check in with you and see how things are going. I hope your classes are going well. I keep meeting history majors and thinking of you.
tell me everything (or as much as you can)
and come and visit me, amigo. I miss you!
-ciara