Do you ever wonder what people say about you behind your back?
I don't mean this at all in an angry way. It's just one of the things I think about.
Even if your friends don't talk about you behind your back, the close ones still know your flaws, maybe even better than you do. Don't you wonder what the things are that annoy them the most about you?
I consider myself to be a pretty good friend, but I know I have my flaws. I am the kind of friend who will drop everything to help someone if they need it. I am loyal, too. All the friends I have now are friends that have stuck for years and years. I am a pretty good listener. I usually know when to offer advice and when to keep my mouth shut.
But, if I were to guess the things my friends don't like about me, here is what I would guess: sometimes, I get a little snobby. About random things, too. I get caught up in the things I am doing and act like they are the most important things ever. Like school, work, and church. I also act like doing these things makes me the most grown-up person in the world, which is ridiculous... but it's still how I act.
My second guess would be that I don't spend enough time with them. This has only recently been an issue (in the last couple of years). But when they come home they are not always first priority and I think they notice that and are bothered by it. I want to be alone sometimes (ok, a lot of the time)... and it hurts my relationships and annoys my buddies. Someone once said to me that they felt like they had to always be in a state of emergency in order to get my attention. That made me feel bad, so I've been working on being a more attentive friend. It's been two years since that comment and I think by now I am finally doing a little bit better. I think.
The guys have different complaints, I'm sure. Probably that I get frustrated with them too easily and don't communicate why. Matt is a different story altogether (his is my most complex friendship), but he is pretty honest with me about stuff. And I know him wayyyyy too well (he is mad right now because I haven't visited him at school yet, for example. I can tell he is mad because he jokes about it frequently).
Annnnyway. My point being, I wonder sometimes what these things are, because if I knew, I could just fix them and then all my relationships would be great all the time. I know my friends won't tell me what they think I need to improve on, so I'm just guessing. I do know my own flaws pretty well, after all, because I get to deal with all of them every day.
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5 comments:
it was nice to meet you tonight! it is always nice to know another starbucks worker!
I wish I knew what people say too. Most of the time when I hear something, it usually isn't positive, so there's probably a lot for me to work on.
Hm...Interesting thought. Do we really want to know what people think about us?
I do appreciate the friends who know how to TACTFULLY tell me what I need to work on. Because, like you said, I can then work on it. I appreciate the way Justin approaches this. He encourages me and I don't really feel like I only hear negative stuff from him. But then, if he does point something out, I know two things: that he's telling me because he cares, and that if there WERE something I needed to work on, he would probably mention it.
That being said, we obviously don't want people to just continually point out the things they don't like, or things that bug us.
On another note: I do think you're a good friend, and I appreciate you. You ARE a good listener, and I really appreciate that, too. : )
HAHAHAHA! Becky, I miss you!!
I do wonder what "friends" say about me behind my back. Why? Mostly because I wonder if they are really friends at all. I know that must sound terible but I tend to have a low self esteem steming from my "childhood crap". Just try to be more honest with myself and others... :O)
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