I am having a great week.

First of all, I have put a TON of time into my new business over the last few days, and I am starting to get some finished pieces. I sold my first piece over the weekend (to my mom... but still! It was exciting!) and I've finished two more since then, and will probably finish two or three more today. I've had a few people say they would buy from me already. I signed up for an etsy/paypal account this morning and pretty soon I will be able to snap some pics and actually list some merchandise! That will be incredible. :)

Secondly, over the past few days Kisa has made some great strides toward sleeping through the night. She is now officially night-weaned, which means no more 4 am feedings, and there is a potential for her to sleep all night long. She has not gotten there quite yet (our next step will be to transition away from swaddling), but I have been sleeping a bit better and I'm starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel.

Yesterday Matt and I were able to complete our taxes (I know it was really late, but it is not my fault that it was last minute-- we had to wait on forms from RezDex for several months). I am excited about getting a "payday" from the government. We have talked about potentially paying off one of our mini-debts, which would be fantastic... we'll see what happens there.

And finally, as noted in my previous post, my diet has so far been very successful. Last night I saw a number 2 as the second number on the scale, yay!

So there is a lot to be happy about today. :)

diet update

5 lbs lost so far.

My goal for this week is to get back into the upper 120's (I am very very close), which will be a first since December '08. :)

My new favorite children's book

(Thanks Grandma Fortune)


On the Night You Were Born
by Nancy Tillman

On the night you were born, the moon smiled with such wonder that the stars peeked in to see you and the night wind whispered, "Life will never be the same."

Because there had never been anyone like you... ever in the world.

So enchanted with you were the wind and the rain that they whispered the sound of your wonderful name.

You are the one and only ever you.

It sailed through the farmland high on the breeze...

Who in the world is exactly like you?

Over the ocean...

You are a miracle!

And through the trees...

Until everyone heard it and everyone knew of the one and only ever you.

Not once had there been such eyes, such a nose, such silly, wiggly, wonderful toes.

When the polar bears heard, they danced until dawn.

From faraway places, the geese flew home.

The moon stayed up until morning next day.

And none of the ladybugs flew away.

So whenever you doubt just how special you are and you wonder who loves you, how much and how far, listen for geese honking high in the sky (They're singing a song to remember you by). Or notice the bears asleep at the zoo. (It's because they've been dancing all night for you!) Or drift off to sleep to the sound of the wind. (Listen closely... it's whispering your name again!)

If the moon stays up until morning one day, or a ladybug lands and decides to stay, or a little bird sits at your window awhile, it's because they're all hoping to see you smile...

For never before in story or rhyme (not even once upon a time) has the world ever known a you, my friend, and it never will, not ever again...

Heaven blew every trumpet and played every horn on the wonderful, marvelous night you were born.

---
"For you are fearfully and wonderfully made..." Psalm 139
---

Babyproof!

In the last couple of weeks, as Kisa has started to crawl, I have felt a growing urgency to remove every single object from our living room as I have caught her getting into (among other things) catnip, video games, power cords, and chunks of old baby food stuck to our kitchen floor.

When it comes to the subject of babyproofing, I have received all kinds of advice, from "remove all items but toys from your living room" to "don't change a thing, they need to learn how to live in the world". While I appreciate all the advice, I find both "camps" to be a little too extreme for my liking. While I have no immediate desire to turn my home into an Ode to Baby, I also think it is rather unfair to expect Kisa to immediately adapt to all of our desires. After all, there are three people living in this home, and my feeling is that we all have a right to live in a space that we find comfortable, beautiful and most of all: safe. Our bedrooms should be a place just for us, but the common rooms should be a compromise. Which means, at least temporarily, some minor changes need to be made to accommodate our curious (and surprisingly mobile) 8-month-old.


I spent the better part of today crawling around our living and dining room trying to assess possible dangers (Kisa has already done a GREAT job of finding most of them for me). I have a few items on my to-do list, but in general I think I have identified and solved most of the immediate concerns in our main living space.

The biggest thing for me is going to be trying to keep our floors as clean as possible. In a relatively short period of time Kisa went from sitting happily on her blanket to rolling/crawling all over the place, and it has been a reminder of my failure to clean as well as I should. Matt and I are pretty neat people, and we like to keep our place tidy, but as far as cleanliness goes, it has taken a real nosedive since Kisa was born. Soooo I'm going to have to add sweeping, mopping and vacuuming back to my list of regular tasks. I'm no germophobe (my parents are laughing right now if they are reading this), but I can't describe to you how disgusting it is to see your baby trying to lick up old, dried food that has been stuck under the high chair from the night before.

Anyway, one of my current goals as a parent is to try to let Kisa explore her world as completely as possible. I don't want to always be telling her no, or taking things from her, or taking her away from an object she is exploring. As long as she is safe, I want to be able to support her learning about the world she lives in. Which is why I have decided to (at least partially) do some babyproofing- so that I can be confident that our house is an okay place for her to explore without, you know, contracting some sick disease from her leftover squash.

I think I love Helen Mirren. When I grow up I would like to be some sort of Helen Mirren/Meryl Streep/Martha Stewart combo. Which, in my mind, means classy and sophisticated, old-lady chic, plus I'd be able to bake a killer cake and host a flawless Thanksgiving feast. And I'd be funny too.

I'm so glad it's finally Easter! I love Easter. Matt is playing in Vancouver this morning, so Kisa and I are biding our time until he comes home for brunch. I am thinking about how different this holiday will be next year- Kisa will be 20 months and we can have our first ever Easter egg hunt!

Also, hooray for Stations of the Cross being over. Phew. Now I can get back to working on those purses, and in general just not wake up with a full checklist of items every morning. :)

Wow, so, as much as I am a fan of Weight Watchers I have become uber broke after becoming a mommy and weight loss programs were one of the luxuries Matt and I cut from our budget.

I was pretty bummed, because I love Weight Watchers. I believe in their program, have seen it work for dozens of people, and have made it work myself. It has taught me how to make good decisions about what I eat, and I'm pretty sure that if it wasn't for that whole having-a-baby thing I would probably still be at my goal weight. Alas, the sacrifices we make for our kiddos (whether voluntary or forced). Sigh.

Anyway, I decided I would do my best to use what I know to follow the program on my own, which isn't ideal, but I figured I could make it work. And you would not BELIEVE the plethora of weight watchers stuff that is just out there on the web free for the taking! I found the formula they use to calculate your points allotment (I already knew mine), I found the formula used to calculate points from a food... there are websites devoted to points values in restaurants and so forth. I still have some of my materials from when I did the program before my wedding, so I've been using that (which you can probably buy on ebay).

One feature I really did like about Weight Watchers online was that they had an app that let you calculate the points values in your recipes. Well, I just found a free website that does the same thing! It calculates all the nutritional info and then I can convert it to points values. http://recipes.sparkpeople.com/recipe-calculator.asp

If I had the money, I really would pay to go the meetings. Their system is such that they give you the tools to continue the program on your own (once you reach your goal weight you can use everything for free as long as you stay within 5lbs of your goal) and over the years, I have probably put a few hundred bucks in their pocket... so I don't feel guilty for doing it on my own... I just wish I could have the community aspect of it.

Oh well. I am really motivated to lose my baby weight, and I have extra motivation to lose it by Ashley's wedding. Matt and I are both in the wedding, and I want to take advantage of having some nice family photos where we are all color-coordinated and pretty. Not to mention Ashley has been doing the Zone and she looks FAN-freaking-TASTIC, which just makes me extra excited and motivated to look my best too. There is something about seeing someone else succeed at something that is just so encouraging!

Bikini Body

Is it possible for a mommy? I guess we'll find out.

Starting up a more aggressive WW diet today so I can shed that STUBBORN baby weight.

(But I won't really ever wear a bikini, no matter how skinny I get)

Matt worked all day today and part of the day yesterday fixing up some stuff in our bedroom and bathroom. Mostly he was just finishing up the trim. There is now only one room in our house that is without trim: the main bathroom. We made a goal to remodel that bathroom this year, but who knows. We made that goal when we were a dual-income family. I hope we can get to it this year, but I can be content without the shiny new bathroom in 2010.

I love being a homeowner, but the state of our house is a constant reminder to me of how life did not go according to our plan. When we bought this place, we had planned to put a ton of time and money into doing all the remodeling we needed to do, then we could sell it for a profit and have enough money to buy a family home. Ha! All of our money instead went to pay for Kisa being born, and it will likely be a long time before we can finish all of the projects that we'd like to do.

It would surprise you (well, those of you who are not remodeling your own homes, which are very few of you) how quickly you can adjust to living in an unfinished space. For the most part, this doesn't really bother me, which I think is a necessity if you're going to be a DIY kind of person.

The problem I have run into, however, is that my work style is that of a sprint: I like to tackle projects fast and in rapid succession. So when we are able to do a little remodeling, my brain immediately wants to jump to the next project. Which means that when we're putting in a new window casing in our bedroom I can't help but think of the wall I want to knock out, the tile I want in my new bathroom, the vanity I want to build, etc. I have to learn to be patient about this, because this remodel is more like a marathon than a sprint.

Anyway, I digress. Matt put in the rest of the trim and installed a new blind in our bedroom, ripped out the glass shower doors in our master bathroom, and painted. I am having a really REALLY hard time trying to prevent myself from slipping into daydreams about the lovely slate tile I picked out for that particular room... but I am really happy with the work that we (and by we I mean he... I did absolutely nothing) did this weekend.

:)

Meanwhile, I took Kisa to the grandparents' house while I ran some errands (funny how errands seem less like a chore and more like free time when you are suddenly sans baby). I intentionally drove to a distant store so that I could enjoy the weather, the music, the solitude and the Mazda on the way. So nice.

Pearls of Wisdom

Below I have compiled some of my favorite tips amassed from my extremely wise friends and family:

Most headaches are a result of dehydration and can be cured with a large glass of water. (Dad)

When you are traveling, always wear your bulkiest clothing items, that way you don't have to check your baggage. (Dad)

You can create your own moisturizing scent by combining massage oil and essential oil. It is way cheaper and will last longer on your skin. (Grandma F.)

Sour candies are a good remedy for morning sickness. (Natalie Mulkey)

In lieu of a rolling pin, you can use a bottle of wine or a can of food. (Sarah Glathar)

If you purchase foundation or concealer and it turns out to be too dark for your skin tone, you can lighten it by adding sunscreen. (Tyra Banks)

You can get rid of grease stains on your clothing by adding dish soap directly to the stain (Real Simple)

You can extend the life of your dryer's heating unit by regularly scrubbing out the lint trap with soap and water. (My mother-in-law)

Frozen washcloths can provide relief for teething babies (Sarah Glathar)

If you pin your socks together before washing them, you will never end up with a loner (Real Simple)

You can use vaseline to moisturize dry skin, prevent puffy eyes and protect your lips from getting chapped. You can put it on your teeth to shine up your smile for pictures, and before drinking to prevent coffee/red wine stains. (Tyra Banks)

If you leave the avocado pit in with your guacamole when you store it, it will keep longer without getting brown (Sarah Glathar)

Along the same lines, lemon juice will prevent cut bananas, pears and apples from browning. (Mama)

A glass of milk will cure your heartburn (Jenn Miller)

I'm sad that District 9 didn't win last night. I don't know anything about The Hurt Locker, so I guess I need to watch it before I declare injustice. As excited as I am about the first female director to win an Oscar, I really thought District 9 was one of the best movies I have seen in years... and it deserved some recognition. I guess the nomination was enough.

Also, I have been itching to read the book "Push" ever since I saw the first trailer for Precious, and after last night, I am totally hitting up Powell's today to get a copy because I can't wait any longer...

In other news, I spent this weekend with my daughter, mom, cousin, grandma, and all my aunts in Seaside. It was an awesome trip. There was good food, chocolate, coffee, and my aunt taught me how to make mosaics out of old Starbucks cards.

She took up this hobby about a year ago (I think?) and it has earned her an "in" with the corporate artists up in Seattle (where she lives). She even got to tour their roasting plant and meet all the bigwigs. I have always wanted to learn to mosaic, but I've never had the tools/opportunity to do so... so it was a fun time for me. Not to mention having the opportunity to 100% focus on a craft for more than 20 min at a time, because there were plenty of people willing to take care of my baby.

I think Matt enjoyed having a weekend to himself as well, playing video games and sleeping without interruption.

Anyway. Time for breakfast.

solid foods

I know I have not blogged in a really long time... I have had a ton of changes in my life recently what with being laid off and starting my own business, etc. Every day seems to fill itself up with tasks and activities. On Monday we got back from our trip to Black Butte (which was a lot of fun), but unfortunately Matt and I both came down with some sort of chest infection. Mine is worse than his, maybe because of my asthma. Luckily Kisa is still healthy as a horse, thanks to mama milk.

Anyway... a lot of new stuff has been happening with her recently. She's quite the little squirmer, and she's started to move herself around from place to place. It's not crawling, it's more like a weird combination of wiggling/grabbing/rolling that is just as effective. Which means I can't take my eyes off of her, even for a moment, unless she's in her crib or strapped into her bouncy chair. (Even today I watched her wriggle almost completely out of her chair and caught her with both palms on the ground trying to make a clean break.) Sigh... my little baby is growing up.

Our newest thing has been slowly introducing some food over the past month plus. She has conquered rice and barley cereal, green beans, peas, and avocado. I have been making my own baby food, which is cheap and fun, plus I feel like I have had a more hands-on approach to her diet so far. I have been researching the most nutritious foods for her to eat and when to introduce each one. We are trying to steer away from the fruits and sweeter vegetables, and probably juice, until much later on. I want her to learn to enjoy nutritious foods like cauliflower, spinach and squash before we get too crazy with the sweets. However, every time I turn my head Matt seems to be feeding her whip cream, milkshakes and sugar (yes, he fed her plain sugar the other day). I think he enjoys working against me.

What do you think-- does it sound like me?

For Ethnos our "homework" this week was to take a personality test. I was surprised to find that my personality has changed (!) since the last time I took this test. I thought I knew what the results would be. However, I think the influence of my husband (who I'm betting has a pretty similar personality type) has swayed me into become more of a "grown up" (according to us- i.e. being organized, following schedules and routines, etc).


Traits of an ISTJ:

-They place great importance on honesty and integrity.
-They enjoy structure, rules, traditions, and routines.
-Extremely dependable on following through with things they have promised.
-May have a difficult time saying "no" when they are given more work than they can reasonably handle.
-Often work long hours and will put a lot of energy into completing tasks they see as "fulfilling a goal".
-Will resist putting energy into things which don't make sense to them, or for which they can't see a practical application.
-Prefer to work alone, but work well in teams when the situation demands it.
-Likely to be uncomfortable expressing affection and emotion to others, but cares deeply for those around them.
-Tend to express affection through actions rather than through words.
-Faithful and loyal. Traditional and family-minded.
-Can take any task and define it, organize it, plan it, and implement it through to completion.
-Great sense of space and function, and artistic appreciation.
-Acutely aware of their senses, and want to be in surroundings which fit their need for structure, order, and beauty.
-Under stress, ISTJs may fall into "catastrophe mode", where they see nothing but all of the possibilities of what could go wrong. They will berate themselves for things which they should have done differently, or duties which they failed to perform. They will lose their ability to see things calmly and reasonably, and will depress themselves with their visions of doom.

(I put that last part in for Matt... if he read this far... because that is me to a T. He is fond of saying that I am not a problem-solver, which is not true, but I do have my moments where all hope is lost and there's nothing to do but despair and wait for the apocalypse)

reality check

This has been a rough week for me. There are so many reasons why, none of which need to be publicly broadcast... but a lot of things have not gone my way this week, and this morning I am pretty much at the end of my rope. I am so glad today is friday, because I just want to spend a couple of quiet days with my husband, daughter, and a large container of chocolate ice cream.

I would be lying, though, if I said there was nothing positive about this week, so I am taking my friend Sam's advice and focusing on the things I am thankful for.

Yesterday I had a really fantastic opportunity to join a mom's group that is happening at Sunset Pres. I had no idea how badly I needed something like this until I was sitting in a room surrounded by 40 or 50 other moms and babies. I was almost in tears listening to other women sharing their stories of first-time parenthood (which are surprisingly similar to mine). I met another mom who works from home and has a one-year-old son. She's probably at least ten years older than me, but I'll bet we have more in common right now than some friends I've known since high school. I am feeling very, very thankful to have found this group of women and I'm really hoping that both Kisa and I can make some lasting friendships. I think I need to put some more effort into building relationships with other moms, both for my sake and for Kisa's. I have a few acquaintances with young kids, but no one in my immediate community, and I'd really love to have play dates and women I can call up for advice or to vent or whatever.

Anyway, that was a HUGE blessing for me this week. I don't think I can even express in words how much it meant to me.

I have also been reminding myself that the past three years have been overflowing with God's provision and blessings in my life. I got married, bought a house, had a baby, and God has provided for our life together in ways that were literally beyond my imagining. I don't think I could have asked for more from Him. My relationship with my brother has changed and is growing into what I have prayed for years that it would be. I am brimming with pride over Daniel and the things he has accomplished in his own life over the past several months. I hoped for, but did not really expect, him to make such a dramatic change in his life. What a joy for me to finally be able to say that I have a deep respect for my older brother (for the first time in as long as I can remember)...

So, yes, I have an incredible amount to be thankful for. Even if I feel like a lot has gone wrong this week, I have a family I love, a roof over my head, food in my fridge and money in the bank... I have been redeemed by a God who loves me like crazy and has held this entire awful week in the palm of his hand. I guess life isn't so bad after all...

In the last couple of years, with the aid of a stable relationship and the pressure of motherhood, I have grown up a lot. I am still a young'un at 22 (I have a lot left to learn) but I have discovered some very simple pleasures that come along with growing up.

For the first time in my life, I think I can say pretty confidently that I know who I am. I can list qualities that I possess. I can tell you my strengths and weaknesses. I'm sure I'm still in denial about some of my more negative qualities, but, for the most part, I know what being me entails, and I am happy with me.

Which means... I really don't care if other people think I am cool or like the things I like. I am not embarrassed to admit that I listen to Kelly Clarkson or watch The Hills (both of which my husband finds completely ridiculous). I like what I like. I am who I am.

It is a very freeing feeling.

ski trip!

Matt and I received an awesome gift this Christmas (or rather, the promise of a gift). Instead of exchanging presents, my parents are taking the entire family on a four-day ski vacation to Black Butte over President's Day weekend.

I am so excited about it that I am literally counting down the days until we leave. I have not been skiing in over two years, and I think the year before that I went to the mountain only once.

I am not an athlete by any stretch of the imagination, but there is ONE sport that I love, and that is skiing. I love it so much that in high school I was on our school's ski team and I competed (albeit rather poorly) in downhill races. It is also the one sport that I LOVE to watch on TV and will become completely immersed in. Perhaps someday, if I am ever wealthy beyond my wildest dreams, Matt and I will be able to attend the Olympic winter games. It's kinda killing me that they are so close this year and I won't be seeing them.

Anyway... there are not many things I do well athletically (in fact there is nothing I do well athletically) except ski. I'm not fantastic at it, but I am a pretty decent skier and because I love it SO much I have always wanted to get Matt into skiing. We have never been up to the mountain together. To me this is the equivalent of being married to Matt and never hearing him play the drums or never seeing a website he had built. I am so excited to show him something I love and am good at. I really hope he loves it too.

I am also just excited to do something I love. It's sad that my one athletic hobby is such an expensive and complicated one. It's not like you can just drive down the street to a ski resort, and so I don't get to do it as often as I would like. Maybe someday there will be more time or money for this. But for right now I am pretty excited to be going on this trip. Time to wax my skis :)

P.S.

Really, my BIGGEST accomplishment is that my task list no longer includes things like taking a shower, eating meals or changing diapers. Not because I don't do them... but because they no longer register as "accomplishments".

ohhhhh mommyhood. How I have conquered thee.

Things that I did today

In order of completion:
-Cleaned the bathroom (sink, tub, toilet, mopping, etc.)
-Laundry (this was all throughout the day)
-Tidied up the house
-Did 3 work orders for Rezdex
-Took our comforter to the laundromat
-While the comforter was washing/drying: did a bit of grocery shopping at Thriftway
-Went to another store to buy new pillows for our bed
-Cleaned and dusted the bedroom, including putting away all the random junk that has accumulated in there over the past month or so
-Cleaned the kitchen, swept and mopped the kitchen floor
-Paid the bills
-Put my baby to bed
-Did another work order for Rezdex
-Worked on year-end statements for Ethnos

It was a very productive day for me. I am really, really tired. Hopefully I tired Kisa out just as much and we can both sleep soundly tonight!

sleep training

So... day six of sleep training for Kisa (day three of the crib), and she is already going down much easier at night. The last 2 nights she actually put herself to sleep in her crib-- with no tears and barely any fussing. I went in and checked on her and gave her back her binky, but she did the rest herself.

We set up a routine for bedtime: bathtime, lotion, pajamas, nursing, swaddling, storytime, and then I rock her and sing to her until she's drowsy (mostly we don't get to this point cause she gets drowsy as soon as I read to her). It sounds like a lot, but the whole thing takes less than 30 min and she is out like a light with little to no fussing. It's also a lot more fun than rocking her forever. We start the whole thing between 6:30 and 7:30 every night, and there has not been a single night this week where she has not been in bed, asleep, before 8pm.

Besides going down easier at night, she is staying asleep for longer periods of time, and I am sleeping much better having her in her own room. The first night was just like it has been in the bassinet (waking every 2-3 hours), but Friday night she woke only every 4 hours, and last night she slept 6 straight hours when I put her down. That still means getting up 2 or so times in the early morning (this morning I got up at 3:30 and again at 5:30), but compared to how I have been sleeping, this is like sweet manna from heaven. She's now sleeping 12.5-13.5 hours total every night. Thank God she got Matt's genes cause I have never been a good sleeper.

This confirmed a couple of suspicions I had about her: first, that she would respond well to routine and structure (I suppose that's not really a huge surprise because I think that most kids do) and second, she has a bit of an independent streak. That's not really too surprising either, considering her parents, but it's cool to recognize her little personality traits as they develop. I'm sure I will not be too thrilled about that in about 15 years, but for now I am pretty proud of my little daughter. I have a pretty sweet baby...

Les Resolutions!

I know a lot of people think resolutions are lame, but I love them, and I write them every year. Sometimes they are too ambitious for me to complete, and this year I am having a hard time thinking forward an entire year. What will life be like next January? I will have a 17-month-old. I don't know much about 17-month-olds, but I'm guessing they are a lot more work than 5-month-olds. So this year will probably be another year consumed with all things baby. And this time I think I am okay with that.

I have one goal for Kisa over the next few months, and that is to stop sleeping with mommy and daddy. We have been (at least partially) co-sleeping with her since she was a few days old. It started out being something that was genuinely enjoyable for all of us, but as she has gotten bigger (and louder... and more wiggly) it has become less so. I think at this point we are all ready for her to "move out", and I am excited about putting her in her own room, even though I know it will be a tough transition.

My personal goal is to be more open and honest, and it has been inspired by Facebook. Let me explain: over the past few months or so I have been pondering the benefits of social networking tools like Facebook and blogs. They allow me to communicate with all kinds of people: old high school friends, family members around the globe, coworkers, fellow Ethnosians, etc. What I post on my FB page goes out to ALL these people. As such, it eliminates my ability to be different around each group. This, I think, has been a bit of a wake-up call for me, because the truth is that I sometimes am different with different people. Do I want my conservative aunt to see what I would say to my friends (with whom I am often less conservative than I would like)? Would I want my friends to see the things I post about what I believe, or am I too afraid of offending them?

As a result, I have started to really think intentionally about the way that I present myself and whether or not it is an accurate representation of me. Sometimes that means choosing not to say the things I know I really shoudln't be saying, and sometimes that means saying what I want to say, even though I know some people will be offended by it. I want to be someone who is real and honest with people. Even if the majority of people turn out not to like the person that I am-- I at least want them to know who I am. I'm sure I've said things that offend my conservative family members from time to time (and I know for a fact I have shocked my liberal friends). But it has been because I am communicating who I am and what I believe.

So this resolution is partly about becoming a person who is marked by openness and honesty (even with the ugly things) and partly about becoming a person who genuinely feels like they have nothing to hide. If that makes sense.

Finally, I have a resolution for my marriage and spiritual growth. Matt is going to read through the Bible again this year, and I am going to join him on the same reading schedule. Hopefully this will be a good encouragement for both of us. He is generally quite a bit more disciplined than I am, so I hope it will be a help for me having him checking up with me and discuss things with. I love learning and talking about the things I learn, so I really can't think of anything more fun than reading through the Bible with my husband. He is so full of insights.

Anyway, I have to stop writing now because I have to check my blog stats. Matt is claiming he has written more blogs in a four-year-period than I have. I do not think this is the case... but I have to check.