a friend and I had a bad fight. He was extremely frustrated with me because he kept asking me questions that I could not answer (I have trouble communicating... in general, and especially if I'm upset). We ended our conversation on a bad note, and I felt incredibly guilty the next day. I tried multiple times to tell him how I felt but it always ended up confused and I felt like I was being too harsh. Finally I decided the best way would be to show him my favorite songs and explain why they made sense to me. So i made him a cd with all of the following songs on it and wrote out the verses that I liked and how they corresponded to how I felt right then:
1. Alien Ant Farm- Movies
2. Cake- No Phone
3. Pearl Jam- Betterman
4. Foo Fighters- Disenchanted Lullaby
5. Something Corporate- Break Myself
6. Over The Rhine- If Nothing Else
7. Elton John- Tiny Dancer
8. Death Cab For Cutie- Tiny Vessels
9. Goo Goo Dolls- Iris
10. Jimmy Eat World- Hear You Me
11. Maroon 5- Secret
12. Goo Goo Dolls- Acoustic #3
13. Red Hot Chili Peppers- My Friends
14. Pearl Jam- Nothingman
15. Johnny Cash- Hurt (Cover)
16. Radiohead- Creep
17. Bush- Glycerine
... this boy and I are no longer friends, but I still have this playlist on my computer and when I listen to it I think of him, and feel guilty. I feel bad that I couldn't explain myself better or apologise and fix our friendship or make him understand why I act the way I do. That was nearly six months ago. Today I had a similar opportunity to explain my feelings to someone and I couldn't do it properly this time either. It makes me frustrated that I have such a difficult time talking to my friends about important things.
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2 comments:
depressing music is the best.
you are not the only one who communicates through music!
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