some things I have been learning (gal. 3 + 4)

Last night I went out to dinner (thai food, yum!) with (Mentor) Sarah. I told her all about reading through Galatians and she said she wanted to do it with me. So now I have some more accountability. Also, she is VERY smart and good at expressing her thoughts. So probably she will see a lot of things that I will miss.

Today I read Galatians 3 + 4. Honestly, it wasn't anything I haven't heard before, but it was a good reminder that Christianity is based on a relationship and not a set of rules. I wonder what purpose the law serves if it is unnecessary for our current salvation (Paul's explanation is that in the OT the law made us aware of our sinful nature and our need for Christ. Christ when he came paid the price for our sins, making the law no longer necessary).... okay, as I'm writing this, it is starting to make more sense. It seems like we are continuing to keep the law around because we don't have an accurate understanding of grace. In the OT God shares our history and explains why the crucifixion was necessary, but the concept of the "law" is carried through to the NT by what Paul refers to as "false teachers"... Hmm. This topic is hard for me. The Bible is so complex. It seems like for most things there is not a straightforward answer... it involves juggling two equal concepts (for example: we have freewill BUT we have been chosen by God).
I don't know what I think about a lot of this, I am still working through it. Yesterday someone posted an article on the forum about discipleship and one of the things that really struck me about it was that this guy was talking about judging our heart issues rather than their symptoms. I was reading through it thinking that some of it sounded a lot like me. A LOT. Pride is a huge deal for me and everything I do or say feeds off of my need for attention, to be loved and valued, powerful and in control. If I address just one facet of that (for example, the fact that I sometimes lie to maintain control of my situations) then again I am dealing with the surface and not the root issue of pride, which will find another way to exert itself.
I recognize all of my obedience should come from truly loving and understanding God, and I'm beginning to grasp how much my sin has ruined my life. Even without considering eternity, I can see the earthly effects of pride in my relationships (selfishness, miscommunication, etc) and at school (not asking for help when I really need it) and in ministry (hypocrisy and lack of humility, which pulls people away from Christ, the very thing I should not do). It can be such a frustration though, to be working on something that feels intangible. Not only does my pride seem almost IMPOSSIBLE to fix, but I don't see the results quickly and clearly the way I want to. I suppose this inspires patience and reliance on God rather than on my own strength.
Here is a really good quote from the article I read yesterday:
"Our heart-idols set the trajectory for everything else. I could have spent countless hours talking about Ryan’s external behaviors. But now that I was beginning to see what he loved and worshipped, I could move the conversation in a direction that would address the disease and not the symptoms.
So how do you solve the problem of idolatry? Well, the gold-star Sunday School answer, of course, is to turn away from idols and turn to Christ. That is the ultimate goal: repentance and faith. But here’s the problem: we don’t worship idols because we’re ignorant or uninformed or bored. We worship idols because we LOVE them. We crave them. They are more important to us than life itself."

On that note, I have made another decision to help me focus, and that is not to date for the next three months. Maybe six. (Someone is speaking in french in the hallway outside my door. He just said "sandwich of the day". I think) There are many reasons why I have made this decision and it has been on my heart for a while, so I am proud of finally making that commitment. Hopefully it will help me approach things in a healthier way in the future.

... the end for today.