I've been struggling with Ethnos a lot lately. And I feel frustrated by the fact that I can't blog about it (if I blog about something about Ethnos, I might as well be making a huge press release to the whole church. If I said, "school is annoying me because -----" no one would care. So I have no problem doing that. But a lot of people who read this blog are from Ethnos and that makes writing about these kind of thoughts pretty inappropriate).
I don't want to get in the habit of people only knowing what's going on in my head because they read my blog. I think that's pretty unhealthy and cowardly (on my part). I want to make sure if I voice a concern or frustration that this is not the first place you hear it, and that I have the courage to bring concerns to the people who need to hear them. In person.
I don't feel that I lack courage, what I lack is patience. While I take the time to work through all of this in my head, I can't express it in writing. It is hard to be frustrated and not be able to vent.
Certainly there are things I keep to myself (the majority of my thoughts are kept private. Which may seem untrue, considering how personal my writing probably seems on this blog. But I'm pretty freaking complex, and most of what I write is just barely scratching the surface in terms of the things I think and feel. Trust me, I do not enjoy this. I have a hard time figuring myself out most of the time, I really don't expect other people to get it when they have even less clues). There are times, though, when I just really want to vent about something and this is the only place I really do that (besides talking to my mom or Sarah). So when I can't it frustrates me.

I am excited for tomorrow because:
I am meeting with Ramey in the morning (yay! I like Ramey a lot) and my mom and brother and I are going hiking with my cousins at Punchbowl Falls. I'm stoked, since they've been up in Washington visiting their grandparents, and I haven't gotten to see much of them this last week. (I wish Connor lived here all of the time. We'd totally be BFFs.)