Okay.
I started to get into the fact that I've been frustrated with Ethnos, and I didn't really elaborate on that too much, but I have been thinking about what can and cannot be shared, and I think this is ok for now.
I have not felt challenged spiritually in the year that I have been at Ethnos. I doubt there has been much growth, a fact for which I mostly blame myself, but there hasn't been a great degree of accountability for me either. It is frustrating, as I see many of my friends getting that kind of feedback and I feel like, for whatever reason, I am missing out on that.
I'm so on board with the idea of training people up. I SO want to be trained, and there are specific things I really want to work on. My spiritual gift is teaching; I want to work on that. I really, REALLY, want to learn how to study the Bible so I can teach it well. But there have not been very many opportunities to ask for that kind of training. When I have there has always been a problem and it hasn't panned out.
It's just so frustrating. I want so badly to grow and be mature in Christ. I have desperately been seeking that challenge. But I need some accountability. And I don't have the resources I need to grow the way I need to.
Another frustration: I have NO peers at Ethnos. Jade is the other teenager: hooray for the two of us! I am happy to be a part of such a diverse (age-wise) community, but I need some friends who are my age, too. It's unhealthy not to have that. And since the age range is pretty much the same at school, I am really missing that pretty much across the board. I am sad that Ethnos can't provide that for Jade and I.
Sometimes I get so frustrated that I feel like giving up on this chapter in my spiritual life. I feel like it would be much easier to go to a larger church where there would be more opportunities to interact with other college kids and women who can train me up. I don't want to leave Ethnos, but I also don't want to spend another year frustrated about this.
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7 comments:
I think it would be cool for so many reasons to go through a study on how to study. I would be down for going through something like that with a group, it's something I've wanted to do for a while now. A little hermeneutical series/study, preparing people not only fr teaching, but just for reading and studying in depth and living out the Scriptures. What do you think?
And oh yeah, I hear you loud and clear on the whole spiritual growth/challenge/training tip. I can honestly say I feel the exact same way.
I also feel the same way, and I was hoping that the next live forum would talk about this concern.
AND I also wish that I could know you better and others, and talk to other people about certain issues, rather than just via blog. It's something I have been working on.
If you got training on teaching what would you use it for?
I can't wholly identify, as being a part of Ethnos really has changed a lot of my thinking. Maybe you were already there before coming, so at least you're a step ahead! For me though, I've learned so much. Also, on the flip side I have spent a lot of time pouring into the community rather than focusing on what I get out of it. That for me has been great.
I can COMPLETELY identify about the desire to be trained up, though. I'm 23, and Justin is the only person in my entire life who has taken the time and shown the desire to mentor me. I really wanted a mentor for much longer than that, even back to high school. I think that's a pretty sad testimoney as far as my experience with the church is concerned. So I identify with that.
Having peers your age is another valid concern. I might be in the same boat with Todd leaving. He's pretty much my last good friend from high school that will now be gone. I have friends from Fox, but I don't really see them much. Obviously, I hang out with people from Ethnos as well, but they aren't technically my age (even though it seems like once you're past college, everyone is in the same "group"). I'm looking forward to getting to know Jade even more, although it can be hard to not have many friends around.
Sounds like it's time to make a list of pro's and con's. For me, I don't have a clue what I'd do if Ethnos stopped existing. I don't feel like I could go somewhere else at this point. So my opinion is probably biased.
PS - I'd be up for that study, Troy, without hesitation.
Troy, we should totally start this up. I just ordered a hermeneutics book that Paul recommended (According to Plan). I was thinking of going through that, and if we could find other people who are interested, it would be sweet to do a book study/bible study thing as a small group.
I'm putting it on the forum
P.S.
Matt, for some reason your comment didn't show up until AFTER I posted. Weird. But I'm glad you wrote that comment because it made me feel a little better. (And yes, it sucks A LOT that Todd is leaving.)
So we have three at least for the study!! That's exciting! =)
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