p.s.

My psychiatrist does not think I am bipolar either. Although I did get to talk extensively about my insomnia and how that affects my moods. She said I seemed like a "well-adjusted young adult" and that she thought I was "coping adequately with traumatic occurences" in my life. However I do have terrible insomnia and have had it for years.
I doubt many people know how frustrating chronic insomnia really is. I read some statistic that over 50% of Americans suffer from insomnia at some point in their life. But in that statistic insomnia was defined as "one night of sleeplessness". Multiply that by about 365, and you have one year of my life.
So anyway. I have tried to deal with the sleep problems in a lot of different ways... eating right, exercise, meditation, aromatherapy, lightbox therapy, hypnosis, vitamins/supplements, etc. I also have sleeping pills but I try not to use them too regularly. I am so young, I don't want to get addicted. Or ruin my liver or something. But even with everything else I am doing, my sleep cycle is really crazy sometimes.
The main thing the doctor said to me was to do whatever I needed to do to get the right amount of sleep. She said if that means sleeping pills, so be it. It is worth it in the long run, according to her.
I still don't know if I agree, but I will look into it more.
I also had to tell her about Mike, about how I've dealt with things in the past (cutting--oh, sooooo not a fun topic of conversation. Although I did feel proud when she asked me how long it's been. A long time!). But she seemed to think I have a good head on my shoulders and can handle what life throws my way. Which was very, very encouraging.
I had her call my mom in when we were done, just so she could hear the diagnosis (or non-diagnosis, whatever you want to call it) for herself. That part made me a little mad, cause my mom was trying to convince the psychiatrist still about my "manic-depressive" disorder. She didn't really seem satisfied with what The Shrink had told her. Which was annoying. The first question she asked was, "Did you tell her about your manic episodes?" My response was, "No... because I DON'T HAVE MANIC EPISODES."
I love my mom a lot, and I don't really blame her for acting the way she has been lately, but it gets on my nerves. I thought going to The Shrink would prove to her that I am actually doing alright, but it doesn't seem like it has. If anything it just wiped away all the doubts my mom has placed in my own mind over the past couple of weeks. But she is still watching me just as closely and with just as much doubt.
It makes me wonder what to share with her, and what I should keep to myself for fear of overreaction on her side... I don't like the concept of keeping something from my mom but I do believe there is such thing as too much information. Especially when my mom seems pretty fragile right now... I don't know if she could handle my thoughts and stresses as well as her own??