words, because that's how everyone else communicates things

I am pretty discouraged this week, in case you can't tell. There are a lot of reasons I can think of for this feeling, none of which are particularly good reasons. But that doesn't really change the fact that I feel crappy. And when I feel crappy I spend a lot more time drawing and painting. And when I do more drawing and painting I also write more. I've been told this will help me communicate better.
People tell me all the time I am fine at communicating but I don't feel like I am. Maybe I can find a way to express little tiny things in ways other people can understand, but I feel like the majority of my thoughts and feelings are way too complex to explain. Usually I talk circles around an issue and end up hitting on about 10% of what I feel like is important. Interestingly enough, this seems to be a good amount for other people, so maybe it is just me who feels inadequate. It could be that all the other things I think are not socially relevant. The question then is why do I want so badly to express them? And why am I so disappointed when I can't?
Right now I am in therapy. Art therapy, actually. For my grief. It is interesting. I have this assignment each week where I draw how I am feeling and then I have to write a page explaining it. I am surprised at some of the stuff that comes out of my head. Some of it is so abstract that I can't even THINK of words.
I know a lot of people think art therapy is dumb. My own best friend laughed at me when I told him about it. That hurt. I guess I can understand why people think that, but it's really hard to hear. It is the way I think and process things. It is hard to do that otherwise.
I guess I am just frustrated because I feel like I can never explain myself directly-- it has to be THROUGH something else, like a drawing or action or words someone else has written where I can just point out-- "hey, this applies to me." When people tell me they don't think art is important (which they do, quite often), it feels like they are saying, "your ideas and your personality are not important." Like many things, I realize that is probably not what they mean, but that is so much how it feels.

The older I get and the more I understand myself the more I realize how distanced I am from other people. It is a very sad feeling and I wish there was something I could do to change it.

That may seem very eloquent to you but I spent about an hour drawing it before I wrote a single word. And I'm leaving so much out. It is starting to make sense to me why artists are generally interpreted as independent, selfish and misanthropic.