this is for you. you know who you are.

Troubled, Siddhartha looked into his friendly face, in the many wrinkles in which there was incessant cheerfulness.
 "How could I part with him?" he said quietly, ashamed. "Give me some more time, my dear! See, I'm fighting for him, I'm seeking to win his heart, with love and with friendly patience I intend to capture it."
Vasudeva's smile flourished more warmly...
"You don't force him... because you know that 'soft' is stronger than 'hard', water stronger than rocks, love stronger than force. But aren't you mistaken in thinking that you wouldn't force him...? Don't you shackle him with your love? Don't you make it even harder on him with your kindness and patience?... Isn't he forced... by all this?"
… Siddhartha…went troubled into the hut, and could not sleep for a long time. Vasudeva had told him nothing he had not already thought and known for himself. But this was a knowledge he could not act upon, stronger than the knowledge was his love... stronger was his tenderness, his fear to lose him. Had he ever lost his heart so much to something, had he ever loved any person thus-- blindly... sufferingly... unsuccessfully... and yet happily?... Indeed, he had never been able to lose or devote himself completely to another person, to forget himself, to commit foolish acts for the love of another person; never had he been able to do this, and this was, as it had seemed to him at that time, the great distinction which set him apart from the [ordinary] people. But now, …Siddhartha had also become [an ordinary] person, suffering for the sake of another person, loving another person, lost to a love, having become a fool on account of love. Now he too felt... this strongest and strangest of all passions, suffered from it, suffered miserably, and was nevertheless in bliss, was nevertheless renewed.