A good movie:
THE PUFFY CHAIR
I loved it. The camerawork made me sick at first, but once the movie started up it was really enjoyable. By the end of the movie I was totally wrapped up in the characters and THE ENDING WAS SO GOOD.
If you liked Garden State and can handle independent films you will probably like this movie. PLEASE WATCH IT. IT'S SO GOOD.
A bad movie:
THE ROYAL TENENBAUMS (I know this movie is old but today I saw it for the first time)
Could be subject matter, could be the fact that I hate Wes Anderson and Bill Murray, could be Hollywood puking up another Owen Wilson character, I don't know. Unfunny and generally a waste of time. The setup is initially entertaining but lasts so far into the film that the crisis (Richie's attempted suicide? Royal getting kicked out of the house?) falls flat and the resolution feels like it will never, EVER come.
Wes Anderson has also directed such comedic gems (note my sarcasm) as Bottle Rocket and The Life Aquatic, which is the only movie in the history of my film experience that I have EVER turned off.
(I know people won't agree with me on this, but I don't care. Wes Anderson should quit wasting money making crappy movies.)
An okay movie:
THE ILLUSIONIST
Was only okay, which was a big disappointment for me. I have a soft spot for Edward Norton, and though he did well in this film, the overall plot was predictable and the script (at times) made me cringe. "The only mystery I have ever encountered is why my heart could not let you go?" Please.
The rest of the actors/actresses did a really good job as well. And the magic scenes (even though they are on film, and animated, and therefore not supposed to be actually impressive) were cool. I probably enjoyed the magic shows more than the rest of the movie. I wish the plot had been more interesting, because the concept of a movie about an Illusionist was a cool idea.
Tuesday, August 29, 2006
Monday, August 28, 2006
the ability to let that which does not matter truly slide
I have started writing this a million times and I can't think of what to say. In the background right now I can hear my drunk brother slurring excuses into my mom's cell phone.
There is nothing you can do to change other peoples' behavior if they don't want to change themselves. I keep telling myself that the way he acts cannot determine my own feelings. Or the rest of my family. We do not center our lives around him if he doesn't want our help. It is so hard. But I can't fall apart just because he does.
What I fear most is that this is just part of another cycle. That even when he has an up, it will be followed by another down. Seven years of experience with him has taught me that he hurts and disappoints people on a regular basis. I am one of the people he hurts and disappoints the most.
The hardest part is that he isn't the only one. I have begun to recognize the multitude of unhealthy relationships I have been trying to maintain. It all comes down to this: I can't do it. I can't continue to trust all of these people. I can't let their emotions or behavior dictate mine.
I hate that I have to carefully divide my energy between people who don't seem to even acknowledge it. But I'm done playing that game with people. Out of all of these relationships, the only one that matters is my brother. If I had to pick one person to stick it out with, I'd pick him.
(also: http://biodh-uchtach.blogspot.com
I am really excited about this blog.)
There is nothing you can do to change other peoples' behavior if they don't want to change themselves. I keep telling myself that the way he acts cannot determine my own feelings. Or the rest of my family. We do not center our lives around him if he doesn't want our help. It is so hard. But I can't fall apart just because he does.
What I fear most is that this is just part of another cycle. That even when he has an up, it will be followed by another down. Seven years of experience with him has taught me that he hurts and disappoints people on a regular basis. I am one of the people he hurts and disappoints the most.
The hardest part is that he isn't the only one. I have begun to recognize the multitude of unhealthy relationships I have been trying to maintain. It all comes down to this: I can't do it. I can't continue to trust all of these people. I can't let their emotions or behavior dictate mine.
I hate that I have to carefully divide my energy between people who don't seem to even acknowledge it. But I'm done playing that game with people. Out of all of these relationships, the only one that matters is my brother. If I had to pick one person to stick it out with, I'd pick him.
(also: http://biodh-uchtach.blogspot.com
I am really excited about this blog.)
Sunday, August 27, 2006
so sick of death and dying
Well church tonight was interesting to say the least. I was really really nervous about teaching the kids. But it actually wasn't too bad, except for that I didn't really know what was going on or where I was supposed to be or anything. Someone was working in the classroom we usually use and kicked me out. So I went into a different classroom, and before I was finished teaching some guy came and told me I needed to move out of there because he was supposed to be in that room. He was not very polite. So I moved of course. But I was very annoyed that everything seemed to be going wrong.
My sister was supposed to help me but disappeared right before service and I didn't see her again. I figured she had just decided she didn't want to help after all (flakiness is not unusual for her) and was sitting with my dad in service. It wasn't until after service that we all realized no one had seen her for about two and a half hours. So I looked everywhere for her and when I couldn't find her I started asking my parents and everyone else. And literally no one had seen her.
We found her of course, but by the time we did I was already in a state of panic (this was a ROUGH afternoon, and I was tired, and some other things had happened that I will elaborate on in a second) and I burst into tears.
What had ahppened is: this afternoon a friend of mine (who shall remain nameless/genderless) sent me a text that was basically suicidal. My first response was to just ignore it because this friend does this literally all of the time. They are the king of crying wolf and I always drop everything to help them. Well, I am tired of doing this, and I can't cater to this person all of the time. I especially thought this text was inconsiderate in the context of everything that has happened with my family this summer.
Of course being me I texted my friend back to make sure that they were safe. No response. I texted them four or five times throughout the afternoon and they didn't respond. I called them, and got their voicemail. And they didn't call back. By the time I got to church I was honestly paranoid that they had probably killed themselves (my friend has suggested/threatened this to me multiple times over the past few years). I was basically a basket case already, before the service had even started.
Then the kids. Then not being able to find my sister. Right around when she turned up I got a text from my friend saying, "Sorry. I am not right in the head today." I was happy my friend was okay but so mad for what this person had put me through. It wasn't like they said, "I need your help," or something. It was meant purely for attention. They got my attention. But they also nearly gave me a heart attack.
Even as I write this I am still freaking pissed. I can't believe anyone, having known what I have been through with my brother this summer, would manipulate me like that. Ask me for help, tell me what I can do, whatever. If I can help you I will drop everything to do it. But don't threaten suicide to get my attention. That is NOT a game. Especially for me.
After service I completely lost it in the parking lot in front of Jade. She tried to comfort me, and I did feel a little better for a while, but now I feel bad again. What happened with my friend today reminded me of everything from the night that daniel disappeared. It all came flooding back in like a second, and I still remember every single action like it happened last night instead of two months ago. I remember pacing back and forth in the kitchen and all the dumb things I said to Justin and Rachel, and the things I thought. I remember standing on the porch telling my grandma in the calmest voice ever that my brother was dead and that we should find someone for my sister to stay with that night, because my parents were in hysterics. I remember calling Jessica and Kathleen and every single thing that I said to them. I remember the voicemail I left for my brother when I didn't think I would ever see him again.
I even remember sitting in the car out in front of my house, taking a deep breath as I could see the police officer, and Justin and Rachel, and my parents crying in the front room. I remember thinking, "This is the last moment you have to be happy, because when you go inside they will tell you that your brother is dead, and everything will change." I remember just sitting there for about 30 seconds or so preparing myself for what I knew was coming. And then sprinting up the steps into the house. dropping my bag in the middle of the floor, looking at my dad, waiting for him to say it. He was crying way too hard to even speak. Rachel was kneeling next to my mother holding her hand. I held her hand, too. But I didn't cry. Rachel kept saying that everything would be okay, and I didn't say anything because I didn't believe her. The police officer tried to ask questions that my parents didn't know how to answer. I offered to help him, but he wouldn't ask me anything.
Justin showed me a notebook that had the note in it. It was a journal, one of those composition book ones, but it didn't look very full. He was reading the note and he asked me if I wanted to see it. I said no because I knew it would make me cry, and I didn't want to. I went into the office instead and looked for pictures of my brother to send to the police. Justin came back in and asked me how I was doing. I asked him if the note was "really bad". Because I was worried about my mom. He said that my brother was obviously very messed up and having some pretty dark thoughts.
Skip forward what seems like forever, I remember getting the call at about 10:20 where they said they had found my brother. No word yet on his condition. By that time my grandparents were there. All of us stood in a circle in the front room praying. I wasn't listening or standing still. The front door was open and the police officer was on his radio on the front porch. When I heard "he's ok" come over the radio I ran out onto the front porch. I can't remember if I spoke to the police officer or not. I burst into tears though. It was probably about 10:23 at this time, but it had felt like hours since we got the call saying they'd found him.
Right then my other grandparents pulled up. My grandma hugged me and I tried to tell her he was ok.
My sister came and I ran up and hugged her too and tried to sum up the story, but I couldn't calm down enough, and I don't think I made any sense. She just looked stunned. She cried a little.
Not long after that we looked up directions to the hospital where my brother was staying and drove all the way out to Tillamook to see him. They wouldn't let my sister and I in because Daniel didn't want to talk to us. They told us he still wanted to die and he only called the police by accident. Only my parents went in. Justin and I drove out to the motel where he had a room. We convinced the lady in the office to give us a key. Justin went into the room before me to make sure it was okay. We got all of my brother's stuff and went back to the hospital.
I will never forget the way that motel room looked. Thank god the police were there before us, because all of the really upsetting stuff was gone.
When we got back to the hospital they let us go see my brother. He was curled up in the fetal position on a bed and he started crying when we saw him. We told him we loved him and I showed him his cell phone. It was full of unchecked messages from when we couldn't find him. From us and all of his friends. I told him all of those people loved him, too, and were glad that he was safe. He just cried. He was really, really drunk.
It took us forever to get home and I slept on the way. We finally got to our house about 4:30 or 5 in the morning. My parents stayed with my brother until they moved him around 7 in the morning. I only slept about two hours, and as soon as we possibly could, we went to visit him at the new hospital.
I remember every second of that night in extreme detail, down to the sights, sounds and smells of the ER. And even a single memory of that night can confuse the crap outta me. I don't know why, because I have a hard time remembering anything from when Mike died, except lying motionless on my bed for hours and hours at a time, without thinking or saying anything. But I literally remember everything about this.
Okay. I didn't mean this post to be so long or personal but clearly I had to get all that out. I still don't feel any better though.
My sister was supposed to help me but disappeared right before service and I didn't see her again. I figured she had just decided she didn't want to help after all (flakiness is not unusual for her) and was sitting with my dad in service. It wasn't until after service that we all realized no one had seen her for about two and a half hours. So I looked everywhere for her and when I couldn't find her I started asking my parents and everyone else. And literally no one had seen her.
We found her of course, but by the time we did I was already in a state of panic (this was a ROUGH afternoon, and I was tired, and some other things had happened that I will elaborate on in a second) and I burst into tears.
What had ahppened is: this afternoon a friend of mine (who shall remain nameless/genderless) sent me a text that was basically suicidal. My first response was to just ignore it because this friend does this literally all of the time. They are the king of crying wolf and I always drop everything to help them. Well, I am tired of doing this, and I can't cater to this person all of the time. I especially thought this text was inconsiderate in the context of everything that has happened with my family this summer.
Of course being me I texted my friend back to make sure that they were safe. No response. I texted them four or five times throughout the afternoon and they didn't respond. I called them, and got their voicemail. And they didn't call back. By the time I got to church I was honestly paranoid that they had probably killed themselves (my friend has suggested/threatened this to me multiple times over the past few years). I was basically a basket case already, before the service had even started.
Then the kids. Then not being able to find my sister. Right around when she turned up I got a text from my friend saying, "Sorry. I am not right in the head today." I was happy my friend was okay but so mad for what this person had put me through. It wasn't like they said, "I need your help," or something. It was meant purely for attention. They got my attention. But they also nearly gave me a heart attack.
Even as I write this I am still freaking pissed. I can't believe anyone, having known what I have been through with my brother this summer, would manipulate me like that. Ask me for help, tell me what I can do, whatever. If I can help you I will drop everything to do it. But don't threaten suicide to get my attention. That is NOT a game. Especially for me.
After service I completely lost it in the parking lot in front of Jade. She tried to comfort me, and I did feel a little better for a while, but now I feel bad again. What happened with my friend today reminded me of everything from the night that daniel disappeared. It all came flooding back in like a second, and I still remember every single action like it happened last night instead of two months ago. I remember pacing back and forth in the kitchen and all the dumb things I said to Justin and Rachel, and the things I thought. I remember standing on the porch telling my grandma in the calmest voice ever that my brother was dead and that we should find someone for my sister to stay with that night, because my parents were in hysterics. I remember calling Jessica and Kathleen and every single thing that I said to them. I remember the voicemail I left for my brother when I didn't think I would ever see him again.
I even remember sitting in the car out in front of my house, taking a deep breath as I could see the police officer, and Justin and Rachel, and my parents crying in the front room. I remember thinking, "This is the last moment you have to be happy, because when you go inside they will tell you that your brother is dead, and everything will change." I remember just sitting there for about 30 seconds or so preparing myself for what I knew was coming. And then sprinting up the steps into the house. dropping my bag in the middle of the floor, looking at my dad, waiting for him to say it. He was crying way too hard to even speak. Rachel was kneeling next to my mother holding her hand. I held her hand, too. But I didn't cry. Rachel kept saying that everything would be okay, and I didn't say anything because I didn't believe her. The police officer tried to ask questions that my parents didn't know how to answer. I offered to help him, but he wouldn't ask me anything.
Justin showed me a notebook that had the note in it. It was a journal, one of those composition book ones, but it didn't look very full. He was reading the note and he asked me if I wanted to see it. I said no because I knew it would make me cry, and I didn't want to. I went into the office instead and looked for pictures of my brother to send to the police. Justin came back in and asked me how I was doing. I asked him if the note was "really bad". Because I was worried about my mom. He said that my brother was obviously very messed up and having some pretty dark thoughts.
Skip forward what seems like forever, I remember getting the call at about 10:20 where they said they had found my brother. No word yet on his condition. By that time my grandparents were there. All of us stood in a circle in the front room praying. I wasn't listening or standing still. The front door was open and the police officer was on his radio on the front porch. When I heard "he's ok" come over the radio I ran out onto the front porch. I can't remember if I spoke to the police officer or not. I burst into tears though. It was probably about 10:23 at this time, but it had felt like hours since we got the call saying they'd found him.
Right then my other grandparents pulled up. My grandma hugged me and I tried to tell her he was ok.
My sister came and I ran up and hugged her too and tried to sum up the story, but I couldn't calm down enough, and I don't think I made any sense. She just looked stunned. She cried a little.
Not long after that we looked up directions to the hospital where my brother was staying and drove all the way out to Tillamook to see him. They wouldn't let my sister and I in because Daniel didn't want to talk to us. They told us he still wanted to die and he only called the police by accident. Only my parents went in. Justin and I drove out to the motel where he had a room. We convinced the lady in the office to give us a key. Justin went into the room before me to make sure it was okay. We got all of my brother's stuff and went back to the hospital.
I will never forget the way that motel room looked. Thank god the police were there before us, because all of the really upsetting stuff was gone.
When we got back to the hospital they let us go see my brother. He was curled up in the fetal position on a bed and he started crying when we saw him. We told him we loved him and I showed him his cell phone. It was full of unchecked messages from when we couldn't find him. From us and all of his friends. I told him all of those people loved him, too, and were glad that he was safe. He just cried. He was really, really drunk.
It took us forever to get home and I slept on the way. We finally got to our house about 4:30 or 5 in the morning. My parents stayed with my brother until they moved him around 7 in the morning. I only slept about two hours, and as soon as we possibly could, we went to visit him at the new hospital.
I remember every second of that night in extreme detail, down to the sights, sounds and smells of the ER. And even a single memory of that night can confuse the crap outta me. I don't know why, because I have a hard time remembering anything from when Mike died, except lying motionless on my bed for hours and hours at a time, without thinking or saying anything. But I literally remember everything about this.
Okay. I didn't mean this post to be so long or personal but clearly I had to get all that out. I still don't feel any better though.
Saturday, August 26, 2006
Batrachophobia
Also known as the fear of amphibians (most commonly frogs, newts, and salamanders).
I googled this today after a run-in with a frog that tried to attack me through our back window.
What one website said about batrachophobia:
"Like all fears and phobias, fear of amphibians is created by the unconscious mind as a protective mechanism. At some point in your past, there was likely an event linking amphibians, frogs, newts, or salamanders and emotional trauma. Whilst the original catalyst may have been a real-life scare of some kind, the condition can also be triggered by myriad, benign events like movies, TV, or perhaps seeing someone else experience trauma.
But so long as the negative association is powerful enough, the unconscious mind thinks: 'Ahh, this whole thing is very dangerous. How do I keep myself from getting in this kind of situation again? I know, I'll attach terrible feelings to amphibians, frogs, newts, or salamanders, that way I'll steer clear in future and so be safe.' Just like that fear of amphibians is born."
Hahahahaha.
(Yes, I am capable of laughing at myself, but frogs still scare the crap outta me.)
I googled this today after a run-in with a frog that tried to attack me through our back window.
What one website said about batrachophobia:
"Like all fears and phobias, fear of amphibians is created by the unconscious mind as a protective mechanism. At some point in your past, there was likely an event linking amphibians, frogs, newts, or salamanders and emotional trauma. Whilst the original catalyst may have been a real-life scare of some kind, the condition can also be triggered by myriad, benign events like movies, TV, or perhaps seeing someone else experience trauma.
But so long as the negative association is powerful enough, the unconscious mind thinks: 'Ahh, this whole thing is very dangerous. How do I keep myself from getting in this kind of situation again? I know, I'll attach terrible feelings to amphibians, frogs, newts, or salamanders, that way I'll steer clear in future and so be safe.' Just like that fear of amphibians is born."
Hahahahaha.
(Yes, I am capable of laughing at myself, but frogs still scare the crap outta me.)
Friday, August 25, 2006
dinner conversation
(we were having a discussion about our past gym teachers and I was pointing out the irony in that many gym teachers are either overweight or severely underweight, and few are actually healthy)
DANIEL: Mr. Schmidt was pretty in shape.
ME: Not really. He had a bit of a beer belly.
MOM: Yeah, he did.
DANIEL: Well, he was maybe like-- ten pounds overweight.
ME: (laughing) Yeah... ten pounds of beer belly!
DANIEL: Well, who isn't ten pounds overweight?
MOM: In America... probably like 25% of people.
ME: Except for young people. I'd say the majority of young people are in shape.
DANIEL: But Mr. Schmidt wasn't young.
ME: (slightly annoyed) Okay... what's your point?
DANIEL: (argumentative) He wasn't overweight. Ten pounds is not overweight.
ME: Fine, whatever.
DANIEL: Actually he was in pretty good shape, you just don't know what you're talking about. You probably don't remember.
ME: Okay. Whatever. You're probably right and I'm probably wrong.
DANIEL: Yeah. I am.
(At which point he glares at me and there is a long pause in the conversation.)
MOM: I sense some tension between you two.
DANIEL: Yeah, I don't know what's wrong with her, but she's been a snothead all day. (The only conversation I'd had with him prior to this one was when I sat next to him for a half an hour and helped him spell out words on his job application.)
REBECCA: Yeah. She has. (This was after taking her to the video store, paying for her video rental, giving her five extra bucks to go hang out with her friends tonight, agreeing to drive her the 30 minutes to where she was going, and telling her she could borrow the shirt my best friend bought me two weeks ago for my birthday-- and I have only worn once.)
At this point Daniel just gets up and leaves without saying anything else. I pointed out to my sister that I had actually been extremely nice to her, and that I have a lot going on this week. Two of my best friends just left for college, I have a huge project due tomorrow, and I'm supposed to be teaching the kids @ Ethnos on Sunday (for the first time ever-- and I'm really nervous about it). She just said, "Oh." And got up and left, too.
I am just tired of them. Conversations like this make me wonder why I try to accomodate them at all. They don't notice or choose to cut me (or my parents) ANY slack, even though we are redesigning our entire lives around making them happy.
AHHH.
This situation is so frustrating, I'm so tired, I feel like I'm working really hard to help them and they're just sitting on their asses soaking it all up and doing NOTHING to help themselves.
I don't even know what to say about it. I'm too upset to even think of any words.
Ugh.
DANIEL: Mr. Schmidt was pretty in shape.
ME: Not really. He had a bit of a beer belly.
MOM: Yeah, he did.
DANIEL: Well, he was maybe like-- ten pounds overweight.
ME: (laughing) Yeah... ten pounds of beer belly!
DANIEL: Well, who isn't ten pounds overweight?
MOM: In America... probably like 25% of people.
ME: Except for young people. I'd say the majority of young people are in shape.
DANIEL: But Mr. Schmidt wasn't young.
ME: (slightly annoyed) Okay... what's your point?
DANIEL: (argumentative) He wasn't overweight. Ten pounds is not overweight.
ME: Fine, whatever.
DANIEL: Actually he was in pretty good shape, you just don't know what you're talking about. You probably don't remember.
ME: Okay. Whatever. You're probably right and I'm probably wrong.
DANIEL: Yeah. I am.
(At which point he glares at me and there is a long pause in the conversation.)
MOM: I sense some tension between you two.
DANIEL: Yeah, I don't know what's wrong with her, but she's been a snothead all day. (The only conversation I'd had with him prior to this one was when I sat next to him for a half an hour and helped him spell out words on his job application.)
REBECCA: Yeah. She has. (This was after taking her to the video store, paying for her video rental, giving her five extra bucks to go hang out with her friends tonight, agreeing to drive her the 30 minutes to where she was going, and telling her she could borrow the shirt my best friend bought me two weeks ago for my birthday-- and I have only worn once.)
At this point Daniel just gets up and leaves without saying anything else. I pointed out to my sister that I had actually been extremely nice to her, and that I have a lot going on this week. Two of my best friends just left for college, I have a huge project due tomorrow, and I'm supposed to be teaching the kids @ Ethnos on Sunday (for the first time ever-- and I'm really nervous about it). She just said, "Oh." And got up and left, too.
I am just tired of them. Conversations like this make me wonder why I try to accomodate them at all. They don't notice or choose to cut me (or my parents) ANY slack, even though we are redesigning our entire lives around making them happy.
AHHH.
This situation is so frustrating, I'm so tired, I feel like I'm working really hard to help them and they're just sitting on their asses soaking it all up and doing NOTHING to help themselves.
I don't even know what to say about it. I'm too upset to even think of any words.
Ugh.
Thursday, August 24, 2006
Snakes...
My buddy Bri left for college today. I promised I'd do whatever she wanted, because it's the last time I'll see her for months. So her request was... you got it... snakes on a plane.
I did it, cause I'm a good friend. And I have to admit... I actually enjoyed myself. Apart from nearly throwing up during a particularly grotesque scene (that, ironically, did not involve snakes at all-- but a high-heeled shoe).
Anyway. I was wrong. It was not the most awful movie ever released in theaters. (I think Sleepover: The Movie still holds that title.) But it would have been better without the "muthafucking snakes on the muthafucking plane" line. So much for fan input, eh?
Aaaaaanyway. I'm off to bed... I spent all day at the beach and I am exhausted.
Wednesday, August 23, 2006
just took a sleeping pill.
How do you make a decision between what is good for you and what is pleasing to God? Jesus says to forgive your brother who has wronged you 77 times (which is figurative language I think, meaning, whatever you think is good, do it a lot more than that). But what about when people have a negative effect on you? When they continually disappoint you, hurt you, and stand in the way of your growth?
I guess what I'm asking is... is there ever a point at which you let someone go, because you just need to do it? For you, and for your own health and happiness?
It sounds selfish, but I'm trying hard not to be, which is what puts me in this position repeatedly. I want to be able to help people when they need it and be the person who shows them love no matter how badly they mess up.
But... I just can't do it.
There has to be some justification for withdrawing from relationships that cause serious emotional hurt. That has to be in God's will somewhere, don't you think?
I'm having trouble finding the passage that says where and when I can give up on people...
Anyway. I'm tired.
I guess what I'm asking is... is there ever a point at which you let someone go, because you just need to do it? For you, and for your own health and happiness?
It sounds selfish, but I'm trying hard not to be, which is what puts me in this position repeatedly. I want to be able to help people when they need it and be the person who shows them love no matter how badly they mess up.
But... I just can't do it.
There has to be some justification for withdrawing from relationships that cause serious emotional hurt. That has to be in God's will somewhere, don't you think?
I'm having trouble finding the passage that says where and when I can give up on people...
Anyway. I'm tired.
Absolutely not-- you are a loser.
So this morning one of the things I woke up to was a message from my ex boyfriend (who I dated for about 2 months like... 4 or 5 years ago) telling me he had just gotten out of jail, misses me, and wants to see me/talk to me.
Uhhh. Yeah... somehow I don't think so.
Uhhh. Yeah... somehow I don't think so.
Monday, August 21, 2006
hermeneutics/philippians
For the hermeneutics study, we are reading through the book of Philippians a few times over the next couple of weeks. It's been a while since I've read this book in its entirety and I did so today for the first time since our meeting.
I'm having a hard time convincing myself not to skip ahead and start in on the historical context... because I feel like I would appreciate it all more if I understood it better, and right now I don't. But today, this passage really stood out to me, and I love it:
Do all things without grumbling or questioning, that you may be blameless and innocent, children of God without blemish in the midst of a crooked and twisted generation, among whom you shine as lights in the world, holding fast to the word of life, so that in the day of Christ I may be proud that I did not run in vain or labor in vain.
-Philippians 2:14-16 in ESV (the emphasis is my own)
I am so, so excited for this study... I'm thankful for the structure that it imposes on my study habits, and for the opportunity for community discussion, and the depth of information I'll be receiving. It has only been very recently that I've felt capable of grasping even the most basic elements and concepts of the bible... before then, I was so young, and got lost so easily by jumping to my own conclusions. So this is the first time I really feel capable of engaging these topics, and I'm so excited to finally be doing so...
I'm having a hard time convincing myself not to skip ahead and start in on the historical context... because I feel like I would appreciate it all more if I understood it better, and right now I don't. But today, this passage really stood out to me, and I love it:
Do all things without grumbling or questioning, that you may be blameless and innocent, children of God without blemish in the midst of a crooked and twisted generation, among whom you shine as lights in the world, holding fast to the word of life, so that in the day of Christ I may be proud that I did not run in vain or labor in vain.
-Philippians 2:14-16 in ESV (the emphasis is my own)
I am so, so excited for this study... I'm thankful for the structure that it imposes on my study habits, and for the opportunity for community discussion, and the depth of information I'll be receiving. It has only been very recently that I've felt capable of grasping even the most basic elements and concepts of the bible... before then, I was so young, and got lost so easily by jumping to my own conclusions. So this is the first time I really feel capable of engaging these topics, and I'm so excited to finally be doing so...
IQ
A few days ago my brother bet me $10 that his IQ was ten points higher than mine. We have a running joke in my family never to bet me on anything, because I NEVER bet unless I am SURE that I will win. So I was surprised that when I agreed to this bet, he did not back down.
We haven't taken this test yet, and I've never taken a real IQ test before, but his confidence is based on results he had several years ago when he took the test in high school. However, even if he WAS ten points higher than me at some point, I doubt he still is today... he's been smoking pot/drinking for the last 6 or 7 years and I haven't.
His theory is that IQ tests are based on logical reasoning, and since I am horrible at math, I am therefore illogical (hmmm...). However. My thinking is that, even if his IQ is higher than mine, there is no way it can be ten points higher than mine-- that is a significant difference. (His original bet was thirty points, which is stupid in and of itself... because if there was that much of a difference in our levels of intelligence we would have trouble communicating and understanding each other. So that in and of itself is a red flag as to his own level of logical reasoning...)
Besides-- IQ tests aren't math tests. And we had the same exact score on our SATs, just that our math and verbal results were switched.
So, essentially, there is no logical reason for him to believe he is significantly smarter than me, and I'm looking forward to my $10.
We haven't taken this test yet, and I've never taken a real IQ test before, but his confidence is based on results he had several years ago when he took the test in high school. However, even if he WAS ten points higher than me at some point, I doubt he still is today... he's been smoking pot/drinking for the last 6 or 7 years and I haven't.
His theory is that IQ tests are based on logical reasoning, and since I am horrible at math, I am therefore illogical (hmmm...). However. My thinking is that, even if his IQ is higher than mine, there is no way it can be ten points higher than mine-- that is a significant difference. (His original bet was thirty points, which is stupid in and of itself... because if there was that much of a difference in our levels of intelligence we would have trouble communicating and understanding each other. So that in and of itself is a red flag as to his own level of logical reasoning...)
Besides-- IQ tests aren't math tests. And we had the same exact score on our SATs, just that our math and verbal results were switched.
So, essentially, there is no logical reason for him to believe he is significantly smarter than me, and I'm looking forward to my $10.
Sunday, August 20, 2006
=( oh, it gets worse...
I know you read this even though you never comment. But this post is all for you, so maybe you will take time to acknowledge it ;)
I'm going to miss you both a lot. I love you so much... please still write to me... I will be sad without either of you... and tell mum I love her too. And she can still call me if she thinks of it cause I would love to hear from her. And send me a picture of Dessi. And some hobknobs. (You promised.)
p.s. I found this a few days ago in my old journal. Remember? I thought it might make you smile... or cry... I wish I would have remembered before, I would have given it to you:
I'm going to miss you both a lot. I love you so much... please still write to me... I will be sad without either of you... and tell mum I love her too. And she can still call me if she thinks of it cause I would love to hear from her. And send me a picture of Dessi. And some hobknobs. (You promised.)
p.s. I found this a few days ago in my old journal. Remember? I thought it might make you smile... or cry... I wish I would have remembered before, I would have given it to you:
Friday, August 18, 2006
this post is about hair:
Welp... I got myself a haircut. I was trying to grow it out, but it was in that un-cute phase and I just couldn't handle it anymore.
This was quite a bit shorter than I wanted, but it's not too bad, and it will grow back again (in like twelve years...)
What do you think?
P.S. You have to say something nice, because I can't put it back now...
Also, I hate using a comb, in case you couldn't tell...
This was quite a bit shorter than I wanted, but it's not too bad, and it will grow back again (in like twelve years...)
What do you think?
P.S. You have to say something nice, because I can't put it back now...
Also, I hate using a comb, in case you couldn't tell...
It doesn't add up...
So I've been having stomach troubles lately. I can't eat much because every time I do I get nauseous. This isn't really a new thing, but it has gotten significantly worse in the past month or so, to the point that now I'm eating only a couple cups of food a day, and feeling nauseous almost all of the time. (I should clarify that this has not been intentional, I don't have an eating disorder or anything.) The past two weeks or so have been the worst.
So I went to the doctor, and he weighed me, and he said I'd lost 20 lbs since my last visit, and was very troubled and annoyed. But that doesn't make sense. I mean yeah I've gotten thinner, but not significantly thinner. Not to the point where it's even noticeable. And 20lbs is a good deal of weight.
If I were to lose that much weight I would notice. I'm still not anywhere close to being thin, or ideal weight, or whatever. I'd say I'd have a good ten or fifteen pounds to go if I actually wanted to be skinny. Add 20 lbs to that, and that puts me well over 30 lbs overweight before. Isn't that technically classified as obese? I've always been a little chubby, sometimes a lot chubby, but I've never actually been fat, and definitely not obese. I don't think. Maybe I am in denial, I don't know.
It just doesn't seem right. If I lost 20 lbs where did it come from, and where did it go? I pretty much feel the same.
Although one thing to my doctor's credit... I did drop a couple dress sizes since december. I think maybe 3. Right now I'm a size 5/6. Before I was 8/9. I have been bigger than that before I think, but I don't remember.
It just doesn't add up. I feel like I was fat before and didn't realize.
Or maybe his scale is broken... ;)
So I went to the doctor, and he weighed me, and he said I'd lost 20 lbs since my last visit, and was very troubled and annoyed. But that doesn't make sense. I mean yeah I've gotten thinner, but not significantly thinner. Not to the point where it's even noticeable. And 20lbs is a good deal of weight.
If I were to lose that much weight I would notice. I'm still not anywhere close to being thin, or ideal weight, or whatever. I'd say I'd have a good ten or fifteen pounds to go if I actually wanted to be skinny. Add 20 lbs to that, and that puts me well over 30 lbs overweight before. Isn't that technically classified as obese? I've always been a little chubby, sometimes a lot chubby, but I've never actually been fat, and definitely not obese. I don't think. Maybe I am in denial, I don't know.
It just doesn't seem right. If I lost 20 lbs where did it come from, and where did it go? I pretty much feel the same.
Although one thing to my doctor's credit... I did drop a couple dress sizes since december. I think maybe 3. Right now I'm a size 5/6. Before I was 8/9. I have been bigger than that before I think, but I don't remember.
It just doesn't add up. I feel like I was fat before and didn't realize.
Or maybe his scale is broken... ;)
Thursday, August 17, 2006
rant
I absolutely hate dating.
I don't see the point in playing hard to get or being a tease. It doesn't make any sense at all to me. I think it is dumb, immature and a waste of time and energy. It just seems like people are more interested in the chase and the challenge than the actual person they are pursuing. Then when they get what they want they realize this person is nothing like what they expected.
It is so freaking counterintuitive that it makes me crazy. But if you don't play along, you don't really stand a chance.
The thing is, I refuse to be insincere with people. Clearly I have the intelligence to play the game if I really wanted to. I could manipulate the hell out of everyone if I made that my goal.
But what is the purpose? To make your opponent fall in love with a character that doesn't exist?
I just wish people would grow up and be honest with each other. Show some freaking integrity/sincerity.
That's all I have to say about that.
I don't see the point in playing hard to get or being a tease. It doesn't make any sense at all to me. I think it is dumb, immature and a waste of time and energy. It just seems like people are more interested in the chase and the challenge than the actual person they are pursuing. Then when they get what they want they realize this person is nothing like what they expected.
It is so freaking counterintuitive that it makes me crazy. But if you don't play along, you don't really stand a chance.
The thing is, I refuse to be insincere with people. Clearly I have the intelligence to play the game if I really wanted to. I could manipulate the hell out of everyone if I made that my goal.
But what is the purpose? To make your opponent fall in love with a character that doesn't exist?
I just wish people would grow up and be honest with each other. Show some freaking integrity/sincerity.
That's all I have to say about that.
Wednesday, August 16, 2006
Monday, August 14, 2006
Todd
So today was Todd's last day. I cried. (Yeah... I'm a big baby. But it's hard and I'm really going to miss him.) It is not fun watching my friends go away to college. This one is especially hard for some reason. I think because I have doubts about whether or not we will actually keep in touch.
This whole last year has been a lovely reality check in that department for all of my high school friends. A lot of them I have lost touch with completely in the course of the past year. I wouldn't care much, except some of these people were very, very important to me. People who I loved a lot. And now they are just gone and moved on with their lives.
I know this is part of growing up, but I still really hate it. It's painful, especially when you're never the one leaving and always the one being left behind. I know staying here is the right choice for me, and that going away to school is bittersweet for everyone. I didn't choose to stay here because I thought it would be easy or fun. It was out of obedience and because I really want my degree more than anything else. But still, socially, it freaking sucks.
Becky and Brianna are leaving in about a week and a half. Kristin is leaving pretty soon too. I am not looking forward to saying goodbye to any of them either. It is a little easier with the girls, since I know for sure that our friendships are not going to change (or end). But I still hate watching them go....
It's just been a hard week, and I have a lot on my mind (and heart), I'm having trouble sleeping, and I figured I would write for a while...
This whole last year has been a lovely reality check in that department for all of my high school friends. A lot of them I have lost touch with completely in the course of the past year. I wouldn't care much, except some of these people were very, very important to me. People who I loved a lot. And now they are just gone and moved on with their lives.
I know this is part of growing up, but I still really hate it. It's painful, especially when you're never the one leaving and always the one being left behind. I know staying here is the right choice for me, and that going away to school is bittersweet for everyone. I didn't choose to stay here because I thought it would be easy or fun. It was out of obedience and because I really want my degree more than anything else. But still, socially, it freaking sucks.
Becky and Brianna are leaving in about a week and a half. Kristin is leaving pretty soon too. I am not looking forward to saying goodbye to any of them either. It is a little easier with the girls, since I know for sure that our friendships are not going to change (or end). But I still hate watching them go....
It's just been a hard week, and I have a lot on my mind (and heart), I'm having trouble sleeping, and I figured I would write for a while...
Saturday, August 12, 2006
oh, also:
I have failed to mention this is also the week of midterms. Which has made for a pretty interesting week so far. I have a huge project due in a few hours and I am taking a break from putting it together. (It is for my storyboarding class. The following post is completely unrelated)
Let me just say that this graphics class has given me a new respect for all animation/game design people in this world. I knew their jobs were difficult, but after playing around in Illustrator I simply cannot fathom working in something like Maya. You know how I menioned before I am making a picture of grace kelly? She is coming along at a breakneck pace.
If by breakneck you mean I want to break my own neck every time I think about it.
I have so little done on this project that it seems impossible to have it finished by Monday. And that isn't for lack of effort. I blame the complexity of vector-based software and my own perfectionism. However I desperately need an A on this project due to the fact that I have absolutely no photoshop skills. I am hoping to make up for my lack of understanding in raster graphics with this.
However I will say that I am quite proud of this eye. It took me nearly an hour, and it looks pretty. It still needs eyelashes but let me tell you-- that will be the first thing to go if I run out of time.
Okay... in case somebody who reads this knows about the software I'm talking about... yes, I'm a liar. It actually isn't complex at all. I'm just a big baby.
Let me just say that this graphics class has given me a new respect for all animation/game design people in this world. I knew their jobs were difficult, but after playing around in Illustrator I simply cannot fathom working in something like Maya. You know how I menioned before I am making a picture of grace kelly? She is coming along at a breakneck pace.
If by breakneck you mean I want to break my own neck every time I think about it.
I have so little done on this project that it seems impossible to have it finished by Monday. And that isn't for lack of effort. I blame the complexity of vector-based software and my own perfectionism. However I desperately need an A on this project due to the fact that I have absolutely no photoshop skills. I am hoping to make up for my lack of understanding in raster graphics with this.
However I will say that I am quite proud of this eye. It took me nearly an hour, and it looks pretty. It still needs eyelashes but let me tell you-- that will be the first thing to go if I run out of time.
Okay... in case somebody who reads this knows about the software I'm talking about... yes, I'm a liar. It actually isn't complex at all. I'm just a big baby.
Friday, August 11, 2006
ohh, life.
Well I'm having a hard time thinking of anything to say. I haven't been blogging a whole lot lately. That's because ever since my brother was in the hospital I've had a lot going on I couldn't talk about with most people. So I bought a real (as in paper) journal and I've been writing in that. Although... I will admit, I think journaling is pretty pointless. Why waste the time writing things down that I can think (very quickly) and solve inside my own head?
Blogging to me serves a purpose, because I know whatever I write in here has the potential to be seen by other people. So it can be a mode of expression, like a half step between a conversation and a stream of conciousness. But of course it is pretty guarded. I wouldn't just write anything in my blog.
So the thoughts I wouldn't write in here, I wouldn't write because they are personal; I don't want people to know. If that is the case why write them in a journal at all? Why not just think them? Isn't that a better use of time and energy?
I don't know. If there are any fans of journaling out there, please let me know what the purpose is. I honestly don't understand. I believe that it's probably a good exercise, but I can't imagine why, and it's hard to motivate myself to do it if it doesn't serve a purpose...
Oh. ALSO. Here are some pictures of my birthday. Three to be exact. I didn't bring a camera so these are the only three that I have. I would probably post more if I had more cause everybody looked so cute and happy. Plus the desserts looked even more amazing than we did. So anyway:
Sarah and Jade and Kristin...
Becky and Brianna and Me... (it's black and white so the fact that I'm actually white looks less startling)
Here I am modeling a piece of cake. The fact that this particular piece of cake looks like it is the same size as my head is not a trick of the camera. It really was massive. Kristin and I split this bad boy and still couldn't finish it.
Anyway those are my pictures of this week's festivities... I also have pictures from the beach, but I haven't uploaded them yet.
The End.
Blogging to me serves a purpose, because I know whatever I write in here has the potential to be seen by other people. So it can be a mode of expression, like a half step between a conversation and a stream of conciousness. But of course it is pretty guarded. I wouldn't just write anything in my blog.
So the thoughts I wouldn't write in here, I wouldn't write because they are personal; I don't want people to know. If that is the case why write them in a journal at all? Why not just think them? Isn't that a better use of time and energy?
I don't know. If there are any fans of journaling out there, please let me know what the purpose is. I honestly don't understand. I believe that it's probably a good exercise, but I can't imagine why, and it's hard to motivate myself to do it if it doesn't serve a purpose...
Oh. ALSO. Here are some pictures of my birthday. Three to be exact. I didn't bring a camera so these are the only three that I have. I would probably post more if I had more cause everybody looked so cute and happy. Plus the desserts looked even more amazing than we did. So anyway:
Sarah and Jade and Kristin...
Becky and Brianna and Me... (it's black and white so the fact that I'm actually white looks less startling)
Here I am modeling a piece of cake. The fact that this particular piece of cake looks like it is the same size as my head is not a trick of the camera. It really was massive. Kristin and I split this bad boy and still couldn't finish it.
Anyway those are my pictures of this week's festivities... I also have pictures from the beach, but I haven't uploaded them yet.
The End.
Tuesday, August 08, 2006
happy birthday to me!!
The big 1-9. Oh that's right. I'm ALMOST not a kid anymore.
So I have to say this was one of the best birthdays I've ever had. I went out with my five best friends and not only was it a ton of fun, but I am so blessed to have such wonderful friends! Holy crap those girls are amazing. When I was sitting in traffic on the way home (Becky, if you're reading this... sorry I led you through the worst traffic ever. I forgot about the road construction on the highway) I could not stop smiling at how great they all are and how lucky I have been to have them in my life for the past 5 years (or in Jade's case, the past 15 years)...
So, girls, if you are reading this, thank you for a wonderful evening. I love you all and I cannot think of anyone else I would rather have spent this day with!
P.S. Becky-- you were right about the CD. It is the best. So I will be needing the sequel STAT!! =)
So I have to say this was one of the best birthdays I've ever had. I went out with my five best friends and not only was it a ton of fun, but I am so blessed to have such wonderful friends! Holy crap those girls are amazing. When I was sitting in traffic on the way home (Becky, if you're reading this... sorry I led you through the worst traffic ever. I forgot about the road construction on the highway) I could not stop smiling at how great they all are and how lucky I have been to have them in my life for the past 5 years (or in Jade's case, the past 15 years)...
So, girls, if you are reading this, thank you for a wonderful evening. I love you all and I cannot think of anyone else I would rather have spent this day with!
P.S. Becky-- you were right about the CD. It is the best. So I will be needing the sequel STAT!! =)
Monday, August 07, 2006
So... it's official! I'm taking "summer vacation" after all...
Starting Sept. 15th I am taking a term off from the Ai to work and do some traveling. I had been planning this for a while (originally I wanted to spend a couple months in Ireland) but my plans got interrupted by everything that happened with my brother. I didn't think it was a good idea to leave my family (especially my mom) when things were so rocky, so I postponed taking a break.
Lately, though, things have been going well enough that I can probably get away for a while. So I'm taking time off from September to January (the fall term) to work. And I'm actually pretty excited about it. Originally I was thinking of doing some waitressing or something, but I have plenty of friends from Ai who are working in design jobs while they're in school. So maybe I will try and go somewhere I can utilize my skills. My dad is friends with the CEO of Dark Horse Comics over in Milwaukie and he wants me to work there, which might be cool. There is also a news station by my house that I want to work for. That is more within my skill set, and it would be cool to get some experience doing doc/news type work. Especially considering that is what I want to be doing eventually. But I don't know yet. I have a few weeks before I can really start applying for jobs anyway... so I'm just brainstorming.
Also, my parents bought me a plane ticket for my birthday. So I really will be traveling after all, but not to Ireland.
Anyway... I'm done writing for now.
Starting Sept. 15th I am taking a term off from the Ai to work and do some traveling. I had been planning this for a while (originally I wanted to spend a couple months in Ireland) but my plans got interrupted by everything that happened with my brother. I didn't think it was a good idea to leave my family (especially my mom) when things were so rocky, so I postponed taking a break.
Lately, though, things have been going well enough that I can probably get away for a while. So I'm taking time off from September to January (the fall term) to work. And I'm actually pretty excited about it. Originally I was thinking of doing some waitressing or something, but I have plenty of friends from Ai who are working in design jobs while they're in school. So maybe I will try and go somewhere I can utilize my skills. My dad is friends with the CEO of Dark Horse Comics over in Milwaukie and he wants me to work there, which might be cool. There is also a news station by my house that I want to work for. That is more within my skill set, and it would be cool to get some experience doing doc/news type work. Especially considering that is what I want to be doing eventually. But I don't know yet. I have a few weeks before I can really start applying for jobs anyway... so I'm just brainstorming.
Also, my parents bought me a plane ticket for my birthday. So I really will be traveling after all, but not to Ireland.
Anyway... I'm done writing for now.
Friday, August 04, 2006
This summer... there is ONE movie worse than Snakes On A Plane...
This is not a joke. It is a real straight-to-DVD movie that was recently released and already has a fan following.
There are no words for this.
Also, in honor of Kristin, another OKGO! video. I love the guy with the glasses. And FYI-- Laura, the skating part on the last video was my favorite too!:
Thursday, August 03, 2006
the weekend
I feel very guilty about this.
So my family is going to the beach for a week or so starting in a couple days here. They wanted me to come with them but my schedule is such that I can never really get away for more than a day at a time. Plus I don't want to. My family has been so high-stress lately that it's difficult to relax around them, and what I really want is some peace and quiet for a week or so.
Part of the reason they are making such a big deal about it is because they'll be gone for my birthday and we probably won't get a chance to celebrate it. At first that bothered me a little, but it happens almost every year that either we are on vacation or my parents have gone away or something. It's really not the end of the world. It's certainly not a big enough deal that I want to make the loooong drive all the way to the beach and back (alone) on my day off from school or on my birthday.
Anyway, point being they are forcing me to come down on Saturday after class (which means I probably won't end up leaving Portland until 2 or 3 in the afternoon), stay the night, have breakfast there, and then hurry back so I can go to church in the afternoon and school the next day.
It does not sound even slightly appealing to me, so I am pretty bummed. On top of that, I feel guilty for not wanting to spend time with them...
I also have a sore throat, which explains the gratuitous posting, cause I don't really feel like doing much of anything but I had a hard time sleeping last night. Anyway I am going fishing this afternoon. Or that's the plan anyway.
So my family is going to the beach for a week or so starting in a couple days here. They wanted me to come with them but my schedule is such that I can never really get away for more than a day at a time. Plus I don't want to. My family has been so high-stress lately that it's difficult to relax around them, and what I really want is some peace and quiet for a week or so.
Part of the reason they are making such a big deal about it is because they'll be gone for my birthday and we probably won't get a chance to celebrate it. At first that bothered me a little, but it happens almost every year that either we are on vacation or my parents have gone away or something. It's really not the end of the world. It's certainly not a big enough deal that I want to make the loooong drive all the way to the beach and back (alone) on my day off from school or on my birthday.
Anyway, point being they are forcing me to come down on Saturday after class (which means I probably won't end up leaving Portland until 2 or 3 in the afternoon), stay the night, have breakfast there, and then hurry back so I can go to church in the afternoon and school the next day.
It does not sound even slightly appealing to me, so I am pretty bummed. On top of that, I feel guilty for not wanting to spend time with them...
I also have a sore throat, which explains the gratuitous posting, cause I don't really feel like doing much of anything but I had a hard time sleeping last night. Anyway I am going fishing this afternoon. Or that's the plan anyway.
Wednesday, August 02, 2006
this is the soundtrack of my life
No joke. These are some of the most popular songs from each year of my life:
KINDERGARTEN: Tag Team- Whoomp! There It Is
1st GRADE: Melissa Etheridge- Come To My Window
2nd GRADE: TLC- Waterfalls
I remember serenading my crush--his name was Kevin Loughlin-- with this song in the library at Oak Hills. Only I didn't know any of the words, so it was basically just a lot of humming with the word waterfall thrown in at random times. Plus I mistook the word "chasing" for "kissing" and spent a year wondering how anyone could kiss a waterfall, and why one would want to.
3rd GRADE: Los Del Rio- Macarena
I desperately wish I could remove this song from my memory
4th GRADE: Chumbawamba- Tubthumpin’
The highlight of my life thus far was hearing my mom sing this song once when we were driving in the car. She did not know what it was about at all. But I bet if you asked her now she'd still be able to sing it. It was one of her favorite songs at the time.
5th GRADE: Will Smith- Miami
6th GRADE: Sixpence None The Richer- Kiss Me
7th GRADE: Sisquo- The Thong Song
thaaaaat thong tha thong thong THONG!
8th GRADE: Alien Ant Farm- Smooth Criminal
I had the hugest crush ever on the lead singer from this band. His lack of dancing skill continues to amaze me
FRESHMAN YEAR: Shakira- Whenever, Wherever
I secretly love Shakira. Well I guess it's not a secret anymore. But I definitely still love this song
SOPHMORE YEAR: Dashboard Confessional- Screaming Infidelities
This was the first time in my life I'd ever heard the word "emo".
JUNIOR YEAR: Hoobastank- The Reason
SENIOR YEAR: Green Day- Boulevard of Broken Dreams
the entire American Idiot album somehow managed to become the soundtrack to our senior year of high school. I call that excellent marketing on Green Day's part. In fact my freshman and sophmore years the only thing I remember listening to in my brothers car were International Superhits and some Jay-Z album. So anything Green Day reminds me of high school, even though technically I missed the Green Day Wave.
KINDERGARTEN: Tag Team- Whoomp! There It Is
1st GRADE: Melissa Etheridge- Come To My Window
2nd GRADE: TLC- Waterfalls
I remember serenading my crush--his name was Kevin Loughlin-- with this song in the library at Oak Hills. Only I didn't know any of the words, so it was basically just a lot of humming with the word waterfall thrown in at random times. Plus I mistook the word "chasing" for "kissing" and spent a year wondering how anyone could kiss a waterfall, and why one would want to.
3rd GRADE: Los Del Rio- Macarena
I desperately wish I could remove this song from my memory
4th GRADE: Chumbawamba- Tubthumpin’
The highlight of my life thus far was hearing my mom sing this song once when we were driving in the car. She did not know what it was about at all. But I bet if you asked her now she'd still be able to sing it. It was one of her favorite songs at the time.
5th GRADE: Will Smith- Miami
6th GRADE: Sixpence None The Richer- Kiss Me
7th GRADE: Sisquo- The Thong Song
thaaaaat thong tha thong thong THONG!
8th GRADE: Alien Ant Farm- Smooth Criminal
I had the hugest crush ever on the lead singer from this band. His lack of dancing skill continues to amaze me
FRESHMAN YEAR: Shakira- Whenever, Wherever
I secretly love Shakira. Well I guess it's not a secret anymore. But I definitely still love this song
SOPHMORE YEAR: Dashboard Confessional- Screaming Infidelities
This was the first time in my life I'd ever heard the word "emo".
JUNIOR YEAR: Hoobastank- The Reason
SENIOR YEAR: Green Day- Boulevard of Broken Dreams
the entire American Idiot album somehow managed to become the soundtrack to our senior year of high school. I call that excellent marketing on Green Day's part. In fact my freshman and sophmore years the only thing I remember listening to in my brothers car were International Superhits and some Jay-Z album. So anything Green Day reminds me of high school, even though technically I missed the Green Day Wave.
art school
A couple of projects I am supposed to be working on for my graphics class. One is a logo and one will eventually be an illustration of Grace Kelly. I realize it doesn't look like her yet. But it will when I am done. Or that is the plan anyway.
I'm 95% sure that I aced my art history exam tonight. I messed up a little bit on the Statue of Queen Napir-Asu. Hopefully that doesn't bump me down to a B because all I did wrong was forget the date range and BS a paragraph about why the statue is made partially of bronze and partially of something else (I didn't know what the other medium was, which was most of the problem).
There were a bazillion questions on the exam though, so I'm probably okay with missing that.
I'm 95% sure that I aced my art history exam tonight. I messed up a little bit on the Statue of Queen Napir-Asu. Hopefully that doesn't bump me down to a B because all I did wrong was forget the date range and BS a paragraph about why the statue is made partially of bronze and partially of something else (I didn't know what the other medium was, which was most of the problem).
There were a bazillion questions on the exam though, so I'm probably okay with missing that.
Tuesday, August 01, 2006
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