Last night I had a nightmare. In this nightmare, hundreds (possibly thousands) of frogs invaded my room. They lived under my bed and crawled up the walls next to me so when I woke up they were right by my face. One even jumped into my mouth to choke me when I tried to scream. I was afraid he would crawl down my throat and make tadpoles in my stomach.
When I escaped from the room, I decided to move to Iowa, where (I was convinced) no frogs lived, and I would be safe with Kevin Costner and his family living next to the Field of Dreams. Unfortunately for me, once I got to Iowa, everyone there was 30 years old except for one boy who was 27. 
He and I started dating because we were so close in age (it seemed very natural at the time). However, not too long after we had begun dating I discovered him holding hands with another woman (yes, she was 30). He told me that I was too young for him. I was so heartbroken that I decided to move back to Portland, but when I got back here, it had turned into Iowa, too. Then I woke up.
5 comments:
I LOVE YOU. this is a wonderful story, one that should be recorded for posterity.
I'm going to say - wheat. Get all wheat out of your diet. And asparagus. That will take care of the frogs. As for the fear of awesome older guys who are mature and studly and responsible and have jobs, this is an irrational fear, I'm afraid, and may require medication.
Dr. Steve
YOU ARE NUTS, seek professional help! I know crazy when I see it, and you are it! Just kidding.
What in the world? This brings my next point: Don't smoke crack.
This would make a good movie, at the end would be the scariest, we'd cross the state and see Iowa and it would be like NOOOOO
Post a Comment